September Plans

[susanacts.livejournal.com]

I see my MD August 1, and then, in September, I'll start therapy. I'm nervous, since I've been let down by mental health professionals before. My current situation bringing me to therapy has been met with disbelief and skepticism, and now, I have found ways to dodge the creep in question. My cell is now off, probably forever. Due to going numb, family doesn't want to cope here, so I had to do my own thing. The creep loves to call me. All the time...

If this new shrink doesn't want to help me deal with him, then I'll leave the office, no questions asked. Granted, she'll never know I'm multiple, but this guy is gonna see the Pit before too long. He's now forcing me to eliminate my cell phone due to his stupid phone calls. He's 20 years older than me. And he wants my friendship.

Just like he wanted to "get some" and succeeded, in my living room, with no one to help. Since the night of the attack, he's been e-mailing and calling, since my previous shrink failed to help. If this new one can't, then screw it. I think I'll just go down to the local station and file a harassment report or something.

Everyone wants to blame me for his actions. They want me to pay for what he did. They want me to ignore his calls. Screw them. I am paying, by giving up my phone. He could be calling the house directly, or showing up, so yeah, this thing can get worse.

If I die at the hands of this man, it'll leave family and friends speechless. The disbelief has got to go. I was hurt. And like all girls in my situation, we think we can trust the guy. Not so much.

He calls so often that my caller ID and such on the cell start flashing with his number. I'm officially done trying to convince shrinks, family, and friends that this guy is a danger to me. September is going to be a hell of a month. Between the shrink and me seeing friends, I don't know how to proceed, or who the hell I can turn to.

We moved out of one city and into another, and he's still around. Moving didn't stop him, and I doubt that anything will. He's sicker than I am.

Anyway, I just felt like posting because the most recent call I got came Saturday July 21st. I know how to avoid having his calls show up on the bill. That's easy. Stopping him from calling is a whole different ballgame.

I have no idea what to expect now. Maybe this new therapist will surprise me. But regardless, if things go amok, I'll walk out. I don't have time to waste. Either this guy gets taken care of, or I find a whole new way to get rid of him on my own. If that plan means going to the authorities, fine. At least I can file phone harassment charges.

He'll never see time for the crime he committed because the last shrink I saw failed to report him. She covered for him. And I paid her to help me. She took my money, time, trust, and defended him. It's her fault these calls and e-mails are escalating.

If I could get her decked with charges, I would, but it would just be a waste. She's not worth time anyway.

Honestly, if I end up getting a new phone and changing the number, this may be the biggest step I've taken in two and a half years, since all this started. If friends and family disagree with the new phone, too bad. See the thing is, I don't pay the land line bill or the cell bill, which makes this tricky.

I'm guessing that since family is quick to tell me to ignore him, and friends pass this whole thing off as "a bad sex experience", I don't really have the support I need. Who knows? Having a physical impairment along with multiples, I am unique. It all makes me unique.

But I am not allowed to disclose the two diagnosis for the therapist's sake. She might get "scared" and refuse to treat me. This whole situation is a load of crap. This guy has a long history with me, starting in my college years. If people think this is minor, and they won't help, they are the ones with the problem.

I'll be busy till October, but I hope to keep posting off and on. I hope you enjoy the rest of your summer. I'm really trying hard to have fun. But knowing I can't even turn my phone on while out is starting to get on my nerves. My Posse senses this and they are pissed off. The external world is treating me like this is nothing, while The Posse feels threatened. Can you blame us?

Have a good summer...God knows I'm going to try and do the same.