Yo. (Intro/Question)

[kaesesandwiche.livejournal.com]

... but a crappy intro, cuz I'm shit at defining myself. I'm August. I'm 23, kind of, exept for I'm a vampire so maybe I'm a shit ton older than that. I suck at figuring out how to explain ages when you're multiple anyway. I curse too much an Im horibly dyslexic AND I suck at spelling/gramar/language in general so SORRY in advance. I'm the 'gatekeeper' or whatever you want to call it for our hours. I run things, only i'm an anarchist (an so's a lot but not all of my headmates) so it is less 'running' and more 'reluctintly accepting that our brain somewhy gave me extra power/authority over the others that i dun realy want and try to use as little as possible so we can stick to doing things consensusfuly'.

Anyway i got a questoin that we been trying to figure out, and its hard, cuz I hate with a passhin the jerkoff people who are like "Yah right multiple people in one head you are faking it it ain't even real"; most of us do! and so most of us hate accusing people of lying or trying to make them justify theirselfs cuz its shit having people tell you you ain't a real person an you don't exist.

But have y'all ever had to deel with pluralpeople who reelly, reely, reely, you just -- can't. fuckin. believe? Cuz we're in a situashin like that right now with a person we live with, who has a long history of just exagerating/making shit up/tendincies towards being a drama queen who just likes to piggyback off  other peoples pain (like if something bad hapens to someone they GOTTA jump in with this story (that are ocasionaly horribly implausable) of how they had it SO MUCH WORSE), and after a longass time of dealing with their dishonesty on a ton of different levels it is just. Hard. I frankly don't believe shitall that comes out of their collective(?) mouth half the time, and the whole thing with them being has just been -- I don't know. It is hard to be like YOU ARE LYING I DON'T BELIEVE YOU EXIST but I dunno what to do. They are dishonest about half of everything else in their life, and half of everything they ever have telled us since we met them, and they only even telled us they was multiple after finding out we were (but not in a way that was like they felt safe to tell us once they knowed we was or anything like that, cuz i get that. it was morelike they learned we was, and then asked a shit ton of questoins about it, and then a while later came out with "oh hey by the way i am too and suprise suprise half of everyone in my system is like a carboncopy of someone in your system that i just hapened to be fasinated by yesterday")

Anyway the hole thing is frustrating and annoying and i really aint sure what to do, cuz normaly i dont got no problem with calling people on their lies and bullshit, but when it comes to questoining someones existence it is something i reely hate people to do to us, or any multiple, but, yeah. It sucks.

(Thankfully we're moving out of the apartment we shares with them next month, moving out of the entire city actully, and a MAJOR part of the reason is cuz we can. not. live. with. them. anymore without many in our sistem wanting to shoot them or maybe ourselfs, but still I dunno how to deel with this issue.)

Comments

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

Hi! Welcome! (You play Kingdom of Loathing?)

Yes, I know people like those you're speaking of. How one handles them depends on how attached one is to them, really. If you& feel a strong need to stay in touch with them/ maintain a relationship with them, you use one set of behaviors. If not there's another.

Assuming you want to ditch and avoid: You're already moving, that's a plus. Change your Net ID -totally-; Username, e-mail, anything that could be Googled to track you down. Don't keep the same phone number, change your cell number if you have one. The idea here: Drop off the earth to that person. The hard part is avoiding the temptation to re-contact them later or 'check up on how they're doing'.

If you want to stay in contact with them it's harder. Especially if you really care about them and you know or strongly suspect that pretty much everything out of their mouth is BS. It can be really tiring to try to sort out what's 'real' and true from what the person makes up.

Our solution might seem goofy, but it's one that works for us. We don't question. If you tell us (insert horrible story here) and tell us that's what really happened to you, we nod and accept it. Even if the Protectors say the BS meter is *pegged* we nod and accept it.

See, in some cases it's true that a person is making crap up just to grandstand and get attention. In some cases the person is so screwed up they /believe/ what they're saying and telling them "You're full of crap." is going to do tremendous harm and maybe make it so they'll never listen to anyone asking "Ah, are you positive about this?" again.

So we have what might be called "A Subjective Reality Filter". Things we pass through that filter may have never happened in the Earth-world. But maybe to the person speaking they're as real as we are. So we treat them as if they were indeed real, but in a 'one step removed' kind of way. We just don't let *our* emotions get dragged out and involved and entangled. We become the Patient Listener. We listen and watch and say quiet things like "We hear you."

First, do no harm. Old oath. :)

[kaesesandwiche.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the advice! (And ya, I love KoL. I'm Kaesesandwiche there, too.)

It is made more hard i think by the fact i do care about them a lot, i just dont trust 90% of what they say about there past and/or being multiple cuz the longer i know them the more it is obvius how much they just steal stories from other people they know or even books they read or stories they hear.

And it is so hard to tell. Sometimes it seems like they just want atentoin and sometimes it seems like they been sticking to a certin lie for so long theyve started to believe it.

For me, personaly, I -- used to get a lot more pissed, and then frustrated, and now I just dont care as much as I did, exept that some of the others in my system DO still get really either angry/stressed/upset over their behavior, and even if i cuold put up with it myself i don't like staying in situashins that is unhelthy for the others.

So maybe I can try a combinatoin of things -- get out of here first like we are doing, and then see if it is easyer for everyone to be detached when we are not having to live with them an see them every day.