'allo

[styggian-nights.livejournal.com]

I don't really know how to start this.  I've been "hearing voices" for a long time, off an on, though mostly as if through a haze, more like something sitting at the back of my mind instead of being clear and crisp, but it's always been there.  I remember being in school and working on stories, and having people ask "them" questions, and getting answers.  Sometimes it sounds like a clear voice, and sometimes it's more like a thought form, but I never had trouble discerning their answers.  I knew that some like each other and some were enemies, some were more vocal and some never enjoyed speaking.

It's only been the last few years that I have actively begun encouraging them to speak, and seeking them out.  I suppose a lot of them might be "walk ins," people I invited into my brain who have taken root there and made themselves comfy.  I like them and find them comforting, I like learning about their lives, their loves and hates, and everything in between.  There's an entire world there that I have tapped into, so many people, so many voices.  They are friends, and I don't mind sharing space with them.

I am always the front though, always in charge.  There are times when their personality seeps into mine, but it never lasts very long- except for one.  He always makes me smile, he's always so happy and carefree, content with life.  Even if I don't speak with him often any more, I still check in on him, just to see how he is, and he always gives me a grin.  He enjoys dancing, even if he can't dance. XD  I can feel him nudging at me now and then, but he is usually content to just sit back and spend his days relaxing.

There are so many more, dozens, that I can't name them all, but I care about them all.  They're each so different, I'm not sure how I tell them all apart sometimes, but I can.

I'm not sure what else to say.  I'd probably just end up rambling and making no sense, so I'll stop now.

Anyway, hello there.

Comments

[clusterfk.livejournal.com]

Hello!!

[styggian-nights.livejournal.com]

You say hello like you don't already know me XD

[clusterfk.livejournal.com]

XD I was being friendly, goober. *giggles*

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

heya.. welcome to the group.

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

Welcome! =)

[tatteredscars.livejournal.com]

isn't it great to have that kind of feeling around you? being surrounded by people that you care about. i only have four of those kind of people in my head, but i wouldn't trade them for the world.

*hi!*

[styggian-nights.livejournal.com]

Yes, it does feel less lonely, though at the same time I'd also love to meet them face to face, which I know won't ever happen. (Though one just quipped "we have met" though I think he means within my head, but he's just grinning at me now and refusing to elaborate.)

I definitely wouldn't trade them :)

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hi! Welcome to the com. You make perfect sense!
Kenzi of Rhymershouse

[styggian-nights.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I make sense. Sometimes I worry that I sound like a loon, but then I remind myself that we all do from time to time. XD

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

:-) Yep we worry about that too. XD But you're right. We all sound like loons too sometimes.

[spiral-seeds.livejournal.com]

Hello. Nice to meet you.
Your system/group sounds similar to ours. I'm always at front too, but others can influence me.
It is a nice feeling to have others with you :)

[styggian-nights.livejournal.com]

I like my head people. I just with sometimes that they could take over the front for me. It seems like it'd be nice to have all the stress of the world shared among a group, some of them a lot better at coping with it than I am.

I still like talking to them though, it keeps me company when I'm bored or alone.

[spiral-seeds.livejournal.com]

Yes, I often wish the same.