Suicide?

[drachenviech.livejournal.com]

Today, Tinka tried to kill me. o_O

She's sure that Life has no meaning. The rest of me was strictly against it, but Tinka had control and if there had been a knife or something in reach, i am sure she'd used it.

Silvester has a goal in Life, Ankha just wants to be happy, Sab is the body and just want to be healthy and Tinka has no perspective and thinks it doesn't matter if i die now or later. And I haven't deserved to live. (Has anyone? No. But it doesn't matter.)

Later, Silvester and Ankha freaked out and wanted to beat Tinka out of here. That didn't work.

I'm sick of this. =__= Maybe that's a situation where some girls would cut themselves. But I won't hurt myself. Even Tinka wouldn't. She'd kill, but not hurt me for no reason.

Meh. What should I do?

Comments

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter whether life has no meaning or not. All that matters is if you enjoy it. Let everyone do something they enjoy, let them have a purpose in life even if everyone else thinks it's pointless. [For example, I know that Neopets is pointless, but I gave myself an aim in it, and now I have more purpose than my oft-mentioned "to make life more surreal for others". Because I have been seriously out-done on that front.]

It's only a few weeks ago, I was staring in the lake, thinking that as I was killing myself slowly [I barely eat, it'd be anorexia if it were a conscious decision not to eat] I might as well kill myself quickly. But I didn't. I haven't thought that way since. Has Tinka realised what she's tried to do? When I realised, that's when I walked away from the lake.

I'm sure many people on this community will miss you if things go wrong. I so hope this can be resolved.

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

I would look into getting some counselling, if you can find someone who seems open-minded. But you may want to sound them out first and build up some trust before bringing up the multiplicity and self-harm: it's important that the counsellor first sees you as an intelligent and capable individual, so they will be less likely to panic as soon as you mention self-harming or suicidal urges.

[coma-white-01.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean....someone in me, although they haven't made themselves entirely known, has cut me a few times before and constantly thinks about suicide. It's horirble to live with. Honestly, I'm not sure what you should do. But this obviously isn't something to be taken lightly...so hmm....like hellmutt said, maybe it's best if you seek out a therapist or something, if you haven't already. Have you talked to Tinka about this? Maybe have Tinka talk to someone? Is she capable of that? ( I only ask because not everyone of my guys verbalises out loud.)

Keep us posted, okay?

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

Shi used to be determined to kill the body for her own reasons. We bannished her from the front for a while and had her locked up, and then only let her out for controled periods of time. That was years ago, and she's accepted that she's stuck in the body for now and has promised to no longer try to end its life.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

what the crap? o.O who tried to kill you? Someone in your group? dude that's just freaky! can like someone in your group talk to Tinka to find out what's bothering her?
LeAnne

[thunder-weather.livejournal.com]

I agree with hellmutt. I've dealt with a suicidal group member before, so I know how awful it can be. If Tinka is truly suicidal, don't take it lightly. Definitely look into counseling. Or, if you can't get control over Tinka, and you think your life is in danger, you might want to look into going to a hospital.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

dude that's really scary. what the crap. so like you're saying that there can be people in a group that want to die so much they'd kill the body that everyone uses? why not just take it out on their own personal bodies? and why are the harmful people so close to the front? that's really scary and I don't know if I've heard of that before! o.O group members trying to kill each other! I know I've gotten mad at someone before but like I'd never try to kill them! holy crap!
LeAnne

[thunder-weather.livejournal.com]

It's sad, isn't it? It seems selfish for someone to want to kill a whole body of people when only that one person is feeling bad. But I think people who are suicidal are sometimes not very rational about what they're doing. All they want is to die.

It's very scary.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I hope it will all be okay though. I know when someone in our group is upset about something they'll take a break from fronting and rest at home or someone will talk with them back at home. I mean I know that being at the front all the time can suck and it's tiring after awhile. I'm here lots lately but like I'd never want to front all the time. Maybe if I was forced to front all the time I'd get angry and want to take it out on the body. I don't know but I know that everyone else would be making sure I was okay if I was stuck fronting. Like when Butterfly was stuck totally at the front for 6 months and she could get into the realm with the rest of us. Well she was able to leave the body and went on vacation for a month and came back and now she can get to the realm. That's where she is now. she had a hard time since she'd never fronted before and it was hard for her but she did it! but yeah I hope that Tinka is okay. XD
LeAnne

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I hope Tinka will be okay.
LeAnne

[drachenviech.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Guys ._.

Later, Silvester / Ankha went really mad and talked about their Goals and what they wanted to be (There are two completely different Goals, but at least, there are some).

We once (in the beginning of her life) locked Tinka up because she wanted to hurt us. Sometimes there are temporary Guys that vanish after locking them up, but Tinka stayed and behaved normal and was all okay and such stuff.

She always thinks life is useless and nobody really deserved to live.
But I hope I convinced her about letting us live.

Normally, Tinka is depressed and cold and such crap, but she is mentally stable.
Yesterday, She had completely control and managed to ignore the voices (us). And, to boost the bad mood, there was my (?) o_O Boyfriend around and somebody, maybe Tinka, made the HUGE Mistake to talk to him about suicide and that made him depressed to, what made me (Tinka) even more depressed. ~~

And if Tinka is occupied with something, she likes to completely ignore all of the Input the Body gathers from the environment. (That means, Something prevents that we don't run into something, but it doesn't matter if there's anybody around or talking to us. Whatver.) So, there was our depressed Boyfriend and Tinka was already down and so she thought she was responsible for making him sad and even more thought she was worthless.

That sucks. ._.

Nya, I want to go to a therapist, but my mother is paranoid about that and they all just want to make me dependent on them and all Psycologists are evil and such crap -_-

And~
Normally, I can talk to Tinka and I like her and so on, but if she's really mad, she just ignores us. She now knows that we don't want her to get hurt and also don't want to get the body hurt.

Fortunately, later on that Day Tinka thought about making other People (e.g. my Boyfreind) unhappy by commiting suicide. And startet talikg to him. I'd never assumed she would do that, but she did. Maybe that brought her to terms, or just distracted her, so that she got away from thinking about Suicide. o.o

Most of us think, it's worth living for all the beautiful things in the World. And that small things that makes us happy. I liek that thought. :3 Even Tinka likes it. I don't know what was wrong this time.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

The last person in a group we knew who did this was not actually wanting to die, but was trying to communicate that something was wrong that they didn't know how to articulate. Can you communicate with her?

The thing to worry about with a therapist is being misdiagnosed (especially if you present as knowing you are multiple -- a lot of people report they've been misdiagnosed psychotic or schizophrenic) and/or put on medication. It's the 'in' thing right now among many psychs to say these problems are caused by a 'biochemical imbalance'. Some people have good luck with psych meds but they tend to mask the problem without solving it, plus the side effects. But you could write to Lyn Wasnak at lynnw @ manyvoicespress . com and see if she knows of a therapist in your area who respects multiplicity.

For the record, some of us believe that life has no meaning other than what we give it by our dreams and actions. It's up to the individual what meaning to create.