Choices

[susanacts.livejournal.com]

Lately, my posse and I have been coming up with ways to make choices in our daily life that will benefit us. I am not one to think that total integration is healthy. Instead, I believe in cooperative states. I was previously a college major in Psychology, prior to switching over to French. Both taught me a lot, since I took tons of classes. Although I don't trust many people or communicate very well, writing has always been my way of letting people know about me.

Today we again choose to be happy, even when times are hard. DID first got diagnosed in 2003 by a different psychiatrist, and then, we moved north, so I had to leave him. It was heartbreaking. But today, the newest doctor on our team has been open, honest, etc. and we love that. I tend to change from I to we a lot. It's because my posse thinks they need a chance to talk too. They are a group of 17 who have literally saved my life in some cases.

The breakdown is this:

11 women
4 men
2 little girls

They all have names, etc. The host was the first to come around. The others followed her. And because verbal altercations and abuse keep coming, they stand their ground. It's an endless cycle, but one we can hold our own in. Now that my baby brother is deceased, there's no one left for people to be angry with but me. Words hit you hard. And they stay longer than a physical hit, sexual abuse, or anything else. Been all the way there...and there's no end.

The posse is going to stand up again and again. Screw the rest of the external world. They cause the posse to fight.

Anyway, I'm rambling again. Hopefully, the psychiatrist we now see can find a therapist who cares. It would certainly help.

Cheers! I hope everyone has a good weekend! The posse and I will post again soon.

Comments

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

And we wish you tons of luck and hope that things work out for you. Finding caring people in the medical field can be hard. We are crossing our fingers.
Rhymers^Davan

[coma-white-01.livejournal.com]

"Although I don't trust many people or communicate very well, writing has always been my way of letting people know about me." --

We are the EXACT same way. Couldn't have said it better ourselves =)
Hopefully you'll find that caring therapist.
As somebody said to me: Don't give up.

[susanacts.livejournal.com]

Chills are going down our spines...the therapist we saw a week ago said the same thing...Don't give up. His purpose was to help with social security disability, but still, since he knew the diagnosis and all, that was cool to hear. :-)