(no subject)

[cold-ataraxy.livejournal.com]

We are constantly amazed when one of our friends is told that we are multiple and then they accept us for who we are. It makes us feel really good. It really does. We took the time last night to explain to Alex a lot of what it means for us to be multiple, and how it has influenced our behavior when we’re around him or anyone else. Alex is one of our closest singlet friends, and we’ve known him for many years. I guess that I personally am encouraged by his reaction. When we’ve come out and told people without being asked to … they have always reacted well.

 

If you’ve told people in real life that you’re multiple … how have they reacted? Positively, negatively, not caring too damned much?

- Alice

Comments

Reactions

[susanacts.livejournal.com]

It's good that you asked the question...it gives me time to think about what kinds of impressions I leave for people.

Family struggles to understand my multiplicity. It's why I am still in the mental health system. Doctors are all they know how to work with. I've had a ton of doctors and therapists, and most haven't been good.

It's taken years, and it may still, to find someone who understands beyond family. I too, have a close friend who "gets it" and in a general sense, knows about my multiplicity.

I'm hoping other friends will come forward as he has to help, etc. It's hard on everyone.

-Suz

Re: Reactions

[cold-ataraxy.livejournal.com]

Our family in fact knows only to the extent that I get my pronouns mixed up and that Silly and Rissa live in our head. They don't know and we're still too scared to tell them, given our background.

But having friends has been amazing.

- Alice

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

I would put the positive ratio to 85% positive maybe better. It seems
the more rigid people are the more difficult it is for them to understand
that they cannot understand us simply.

---- Miri and Marina of Mtribe

[cold-ataraxy.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we're scared of telling the more rigid people in our life.

- Alice

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

That is wisdom ;-)

--- Miri of Mtribe

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

The handful of people we've told or found out, had these reactions:

1. distrust that it's actually one person pretending to be a bunch of people (this was mostly online)

2. making snide jokes around us, probably because this person didn't know how else to act, but it hurt our feelings (in person)

3. deciding that being plural was a fun "game" to try for herself, and then when she got tired to pretending, we were told to stop playing a fantasy game (there was a lot more that happened with this one)

4. after years of knowing we were a plural group, this friend began acting strangely and saying things like "I always treat everybody the same". This friend also behaved in a plural manner, yet never acknowledged these "muses" actions like posting in her own journal. She used them to say things she couldn't say for herself. And she did try to use them to get in our pants though (which she failed at, by the way).

5. there is only one person (in person) who is accepting of us, and has known about us as a group for several years; but we realize that this lifestyle isn't an easy one for a single-mind to grasp sometimes, so we're patient about it.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

You can find more coming-out success stories (and not) here (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=multiplicity&keyword=coming+out&filter=all)

[mysticeden.livejournal.com]

The most commun and the ones I hate the most

1- No you're not (end of story)

2- Uh-huh...... *next day pretend as if nothing happened*
So yeah =p

[heyyy-sunshine.livejournal.com]

It really depends. Before I knew that there was an actual name for this, I told a few friends about the voices and conflicts. The first person I ever told was definitely the wrong one. She was unbelievably supportive and encouraged me to talk about it. Then all of a sudden, she was just like us. She tried to copy Aimee (our protector) by being "Liz." The only difference was, Aimee only resorts to violence when necessary. "Liz" decided to abuse us and another friend because she could. I was really supportive because she pulled it off damn good, but we all got sick of it and later on she admitted to it being a lie. I told a boyfriend and he pretended to be supportive, only to call me a liar in front of everybody later on. I told a friend that we had for about three years. Her response was "Oh.. well, you'll always be just Amanda to me." There was another friend that had been around for years who was fairly supportive, but started to come up with her own personalities to be like me I guess. Later she admitted she didn't really have any others. Biological mom knows and was a bitch about it. The only real support there is is our therapist and fiance. That's all we really need though. I get that it's got to be difficult for someone who doesn't understand to really grasp it, but it really pisses off some of the other guys.

[scarol.livejournal.com]

Well, we personally found it much easier to tell people about us the second we found out. I think by letting them know right away helped. And we gave them a lot of information about it. Sure, one or two people refused to accept it. But We don't mind a whole lot. Generally our response was received positively.

[tatteredscars.livejournal.com]

my girlfriend still doesn't believe me despite the fact that i told her that "rabbitt" was the one who freaked out on her. she thinks it's a pawn. and insists that i "wasn't like this when we met a year ago." bite us. heh.
my friend, and ex, is quite supportive of it. i can just talk and talk about the girls and he doesn't judge. then again, he's been there with me in my darkest moments.
he also helps me to figure it out.

[linnai.livejournal.com]

We've come out, or attempted to come out, to most everyone that is important in our lives.

We've been met with an overwhelming amount of positive results as well. From our significant other(s) who came out to US after we came out to them, lol. To our grandmother telling us that she understands because she was that way when she was young.

We've also had some negative. Our parents are in denial about our multiplicity and we've been told by other family to seek help for it since it's an illness.

However... we are who we are. ::shrugs:: Can't change ourselves for better or worse and it seems like how you approach effects how others take it a lot.

[liliana-warsaw.livejournal.com]

I told my husband recently and he had a better reaction than I would have ever imagined. =D I told another friend a few months ago and it didn't go *badly*, but he's basically just chosen to ignore it. He doesn't freak, but he doesn't talk about it, either.

Glad you had a good experience, too.

[coma-white-01.livejournal.com]

Well...it's kind of been a mixture. I just recently told people about me and my guys.

My mom: "Why didn't you tell me years ago?! Why would you keep something like this to yourself? How do you even know you're a multiple? I think maybe you just have an over-active imagination...". Yeah...that's pretty much how that one went.

Friends: "Oh...really? How long has that been going on? Are you sure? How do you know that they're actually people? Aren't they just emotions?" And one of the main things that's happened with me and my friends, well, maybe just two or three of them, was the whole "One of your personalities doesn't like me, and he keeps bitching me out, and why aren't you doing anything to stop him, and blah blah blah.." and that's when I say "I'm sorry, but if he doesn't like you, he doesn't like you. I can't help that. He's entitled to his own opinion" and yeah, it goes downhill from there.

But you know, the people I've told are still a little confused, but they're coming around. They're alright with things now and such. They understand that my guys aren't going anywhere.

So, yeah, I'd say it's been a rollercoaster, but I wouldn't take nothing back.