(no subject)

[myryseaproject.livejournal.com]

How does your system deal with phobias?

We do surfing on Saturdays. One of the main frontiers, Rhulin (me), is terrified of surfing and of the waves, and so I have to have Aurora to talk me through it, but I've decided just to stop and let Aurora front on Saturday mornings instead because I've made no progress at all.

What about everyone else?

Comments

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

I can't speak for everyone in here, but I deal with my fears by walking face-first straight into them, no armor or weapons except my own body. Of course in here, I am sort of known as the "bull dog" they pull out in tough situatiions, just because of my basic fearlessness.

Sorry if this doesn't help you, but some of the others tend to "laugh at" their fears, for whatever that's worth.

Joey

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

For things that spark an instant "I FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO DIE" reaction out of us (sexual situations, cockroaches, etc.) there really is no way to get through that. The fear is just too intense, and whoever is afraid gets stuck out in the front until the situation is resolved.

For things that provoke a lot of fear but are unavoidable/less serious (crowds, people around certain kinds of people, etc.) we usually talk each other through it. Ana is terrified of many things, but if I assure her that she's safe and can go inside whenever she needs to, she starts to calm down. The most important part is safety; as long as we can remind whoever is afraid that they aren't in any real danger and that they're not alone in dealing with it, they can be calmed. Whether or not this makes the fears easier to deal with depends on the fear and the person, though.

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

Er, *BEING around certain kinds of people.

[pthalo]

we generally try to get someone without the phobia to deal with it, if it requires immediate action. For example, if the body hasn't been bathed for a while, it's important that it get done, so we get someone without PTSD problems to deal with it (Hannah or me, lately). Otherwise, if you want to work on the phobia, it's good to babystep into it slowly. It's scary and hardwork, so you might want to try - well I don't know anything about surfing but if there's a way that's less scary for beginners or good for beginners that might work. Or if you're afraid of the waves in general then going out into the ocean without a surf board and just getting used to the waves, or body surfing back to the shore or something.

[ghostcreature.livejournal.com]

i'm terrified of spiders, and everyone else with the exception of one is knda freaked out by them, so whenever the one who isn't freaked by them is around he just kills it/lets it go. i start backing into a corner and everyone else laughs, albeit nervously, at me. gah.
heights are another story...only i'm afraid of them, so most of the time, i just have to deal. we're such a loving bunch :P

[raido-household.livejournal.com]

One of us, Sin, was really afraid of water. If she was fronting when we went swimming, we would switch so she didn't have to do it and could be safe in the inner world. However, if switching wasn't possible for some reason, a few others would stick close to the front and support her through the experience - and those times, we never went into the deep water.

[coldironkiss.livejournal.com]

Strong emotions tend to push that person front, so we find it hard to just let the person who's afraid step back.

What works best for us is to have someone, whether the person who's afraid or someone else who's front/near-front, talk the one with the fear through the situation, reminding zir of reasons why it's not as dangerous as it seems, or telling zir that zie just has to get through this and it'll be over soon. Sometimes disagreements erupt at this point, but at least it's a partial distraction!

If the fear is very strong, then we work up to it by starting with similar situations that are not as intense, if we can.

-Himself

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Rhulin:

Do you *WANT* to surf and deal with waves ? If you do, keep working with Aurora, if not
then letting Aurora front would make more sense.

--- Marina of Mtribe

PS - it is reasonable to be afraid of big waves. I remember the last time i went post
hurricane body surfing...

[scarol.livejournal.com]

We are all afraid of the dark, all of us except Debora. So we usually have her take front.

[lurid-sea.livejournal.com]

We deal with phobias by co-fronting when the person with the phobia needs to deal with it. The main fronter has the biggest phobia and so we help him by co-fronting when it's a problem. That way he doesn't freak out and have a panic attack or something, which would get all of us in trouble. :(

=Key

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

What we do is closer to what 20splinters describes, except to us it isn't a question of anyone's basic fearlessness; instead, the person with the fear or phobia doesn't face it alone, one or more other people will stand with him or her. Some of us have had specific PTSD triggers that were overcome this way.

[ridetothesea.livejournal.com]

If it's something major, like the kids' social anxiety, we co-front with them and try to help them through it, because we don't think it's healthy to just let them avoid things.

If it's something minor, like a spider, we just get somebody else to take care of it.

Cross