grr... It that hard to understand I'm a person?

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

Cross posted to my journal... sorry for the rant!

Spoke to one of our friends who knows about us, and has done for a while, and we thought he understood.

Anyway... He had told me before that he didnt particularly like me but since then had been friendly with me so I was talking to him about this and he said something like he wanted to be "silence's" friend (this was our username for the place we were talking to him on so I knew he meant us as a group) without necessarily being friendly with all of us. Which had me totally confused so I asked him whether he saw us as different people and if not how he did see us. I should know from past experience that that's a ba question!

His reply was that he saw us as 'entities' that shared a body. Now maybe im over reacting but 'entities?'. What was wrong with the word people? I am more than an entity!

He spoke to one of us later and asked what was wrong so we told him that his use of that word hurt, to which his reaction was that he never meant to hurt us!

I'm pretty sure though that if I told him he was an 'entity' he wouldn't much like it either!

Also when Hayley spoke to him about us and was ranting at him. I was arguing with her over something petty something that people that arent multiple can argue over and he told her to talk to her psych about it! To which my reaction was to talk to him and tell him that if it was anyone else saying that he wldnt tell her to talk to her psych and he was just to advise her like hed advise any other friend or just to listen if nothing else seeing as thats all she wanted anyway! A week after I told him that she spoke to him about a similar thing.... to which he had exactly the same reaction!


Yeah... and we thought he understood! How wrong can you get?

Comments

[higlearn.livejournal.com]

An entity is another word for Soul, or spirit, so I would think it would be a good thing. He's basicly saying he sees you as separate individuals.

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

yeah I know, as I said im probably over reacting but it really got to me

[leucrocuta.livejournal.com]

Is it possible he just didn't want to say "person" or "human" in case some of you didn't identify as human? I mean, as higlearn pointed out, an entity just means a soul or spirit, so it doesn't really seem so bad - a lot better than hearing "different sides of the host" or "characters".

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

no he knows were human. Yeah I know it could have been worse still didnt like it though...

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

My first thought when I heard the word entity was a hollow presence, but like the others mentioned maybe he did mean it like a soul or a spirit. But if he did, why not just say that? I wouldn't want to be called an entity. It sounds empty to me. :( I'd prefer to be called a presence, soul, or an individual. I don't know what else I am, so I wouldn't want to be called a person or a human. I know that entity wouldn't work for me. I think it's a personal reaction to the word.

-Butterfly

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

Thats just it though... maybe it is just me but im pretty sure if I called him an entity he wldnt like it much either!

[artemisfowl2nd.livejournal.com]

I've used the word 'entity' to describe the various residents here. I can understand why it would hurt, but I also understand how he could have used the word without wanting to hurt you. Sometimes you just use a word without thinking about it. Maybe he didn't think to use 'people' or 'soul'.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

He could have called you alters or parts...considering some of the words I've heard to describe the others here, 'entity' doesn't sound that bad.

Sounds more like an immature word usage, and the referral to the psych sounds like a teenage reaction to a problem. Is he young?

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

nope. hes 32

[pthalo]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entity

I agree with the others: "An entity is something that has a distinct, separate existence, though it need not be a material existence. " I can't think of a better way to describe multiples than that!

[pthalo]

interesting. Entity seems less impersonal to me than specimen (which I would be offended by). but i think the important thing to take into consideration, which none of us can really do here except the original poster, is what the person in question meant by it, what tone of voice he used, whether it was said kindly or coldly or in an "i'm weirded out" sort of way. When we're offended by someone else's terminology, the best thing to do is to ask them right away "do you mean ____?" or "what do you mean by ____?" I've started doing that recently and have had amazing results. We asked our ex what he meant by "emotional" a few weeks back because, while we thought it was a stupid question, we was starting to suspect that he was defining it differently than normal people do. And he did! He said that the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship are the most important to him, and when asked what emotional meant, he said "you know, snuggling, and cuddling, and petting and kissing and *list of other things I can't remember but all were under our definition of 'physical'*" After more clarification, we learned that to him, physical means "sex".

So sometimes it's good to ask what a word means, even if you know what it means, because the other person could be using it incorrectly, or you could be using it incorrectly, or the word may have several valid meanings and you're both thinking of different ones. In the end, it doesn't matter what we think "entity" means, but what the person meant when he said it, whether he was fumbling for the right word and happened upon entity, whether he meant "entity as opposed to person" or "entity as opposed to figment of the imagination", you know?

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

The girls here used to use 'entity', still do. It's a pretty normal nonspecific word. Doesn't imply you're human or any particular 'thing' but acknowledges you're certainly a *something*. It's a little impersonal, but there are sure worse things to be called.

To the second thing, just keep talking to him about it. Don't get mad or anything, just explain it out and eventually he'll either get it or he won't.

[silence-rising.livejournal.com]

yeah Im probably over reacting.... just really bothered me

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"Entity" has a negative connotation to many people doing New Age spiritual studies today -- but it sounds here like the guy was trying to say living, thinking beings and did not mean disrespect.

Recommending that you talk to your psych about a perfectly ordinary complaint anyone might have, is a little more troublesome, because it sounds like he's doing the thing where every problem or frustration you have is somehow tied into your multiplicity (or whatever you are seeing the psych for).