Heya...

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

I was just wondering if anyone else here tends to have a difficult time making external friends? For us, there's only one that's really very good at making friends with other people, but she's a bit handicapped because of the difference in gender from our body.

Myself, I'm not even very good at making friends online cause I just never go out looking for it. I tend to succumb to inertia a lot. Maybe that's just part of who I am... and not related at all to having everyone else in here... but sometimes that just adds to it because if I really want to talk to someone I can just talk to them. It makes it easier to avoid external people, which I tend to do.

I guess I'm sorta wondering if anyone has any basic tips in how to make friends? I suppose my being pretty open about being multiple could also be a handicap in that respect, but then again... I haven't had many negative reactions from the people I /have/ told. So why not?

Also, if there's anyone interesting out there who'd not mind adding me on LJ that would be cool too(my true intention for this post shows through finally. heh.) I'm a pretty average geeky guy with a decent sense of humor and somewhat poor social skills. BEST FRIENDS FOEVAR! :P

God I'm a loser... ;D

::edit:: Oh yeah, and my name is Kent and I'm part of the puzzlesystem... Morgil and Flute and Kat(myorp) have all posted on here a lot more than me. But they're the Others.

Comments

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

The only friends I have outside this group are online. I talk to people in livejournal most of the time to help keep from feeling lonely. I'm not as good at chat as some of the others are, but I think I'm better at typing in places like this. I share the Tej Agni journal with several others, and I have my own separate blog somewhere else too. I think a good way to make friends is to try and make comments in lots of places. Then maybe in some of those comments you'll meet someone that has something in common with you and will keep talking about different things with you. :)

-Butterfly

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I do tend to not be very active or outgoing. Both online and in person. I appreciate the suggestion. :)

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I'm not outgoing at all. When I go out somewhere I always need someone else to co-front with me because I feel so clumsy speaking. Online is easier because there is no pressure to think of what to say right away. If someone comments to me I can think about it for a day if I really want to before I respond. :) If you practice at it I'm sure you'll be great!

-Butterfly

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

we have a hard time making friends.. sometimes.. some of us apparently attract friends.. some.. are really good at repeling them.. or at least try to..

we have lots of friends online.. we have LOTS of friends in our community offline.. we're always hoping to meet new friends..

basic tips.. do things you enjoy.. that will attract people with the same interests.. .. (though probably a good idea to come up with agreement about introductions and such).. whether it's online or off.. it's a good place to start.. Make time for people to pursue their interests.. and then set up set times for people to meet with friends for other activities.. (coffee, tea, movies, book discussion, food.. whatever)

just our two pence.
-Gen

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Thanks. That'd probably be easier to follow if I had more interests that I actually pursue. I really don't tend to do much of anything. I suppose that's probably a lot of my problem.

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

*nods* a lot of our interests.. well we thought were too weird.. or "out there" to pursue here. (body modification, body art, bardic singing, chainmail making, among others) .. but we've found that isn't the case.. and we're more comfortable not hiding what we like.. and have made some very good friends by researching and following through on it.

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

A lot of us in here have trouble making friends. Gabby and me are really about the only two who are really social and outgoing at all, or at least the only two who spend any significant amount of time up front.

I'll add you on friends list.

Joey

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Cool, thanks!

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

None of us are great at making friends, but then none of us ever have been (old life or this life). Body's got social problems that don't help either.

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Well... keep you head high and just give it the 'ole college try eh?

Thanks for commenting.

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

I think all of us here also have a hard time making friends, though it is considerably easier online. I have Morgil and Myorp friended, so I'll friend you too =)

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I recognize your journal name. See ya.

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

We're absolutely awful at making friends, and even worse at keeping them. Most of us are either standoffish or distant, or both.

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Only one way to do better then eh? People can be hard to deal with... it takes a lot of effort to make friendships work.

At least you know what your problem is so you can try to fix it as much as possible.

[pthalo]

we suck at making good friends, the kind of people you want to actually hang out with. as for people we end up wanting to avoid like the plague? those just seem to keep finding us

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Sounds like time for a change of tactics in some way...

Hope you figure something out.

[hydra-system.livejournal.com]

Making friends is difficult for us, but keeping them is even harder! A lot of this has to do with conflicts between all of us and outside people (not everyone inside likes the outside friends/people, etc.)
I tend to be very quiet and shy and I have anxiety problems that impede social interactions, so I can understand where you're coming from.
--D.

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Huh, That's probably a bit rough. In general we all tend to like the same /sorts/ of people, although specific individuals can be rough. When that happens we just try and stay out of each Other's ways.

Good luck.

On difficulties with making friends...

[katullus.livejournal.com]

But tell me, my friend, do you have difficulties in having tried and failed, or because you are simply not interested in doing so enough to put forth an effort? Is it important to you, like so many of these others, or is it a small element of a life that you just try to live as it comes, as it is with myself?

Katullus Lexus of The Legion K
(Reply to this)

Re: On difficulties with making friends...

[makil-s.livejournal.com]

Eh, until recently I was not particularly interested. I hadn't really enjoyed being up front, so I didn't really make many friends.

Now, because of one particular person I know, I am spending more time up front, and I'm really beginning to wish I had better ability to make friends.

You do sense correctly though that I often find it very difficult to put forth any real effort in this case... or most cases I suppose. I have a terrible lack of motivation in general.

As far as "living as life comes" goes, I really do tend to... or did until the last few months. Recently I've come to the conclusion though, that I am dissatisfied with how things are, and I'm not willing to just let life wash over me anymore. Its time to do some swimming!