Passing as singleton...

[yellowsub723.livejournal.com]

I saw this phrase, passing as singleton in a recent unrelated post and I was interested in having folks share some of their experiences with this. Some of us used to feel very uncomfortable about this and it would inhibit our ability to make social connections. There was alot of anxiety, shame, and isolation that erupted. But as things progress, parts are just healthier and feel better, and thus they can front without having people who don't know we have parts just think that we are funny and eccentric and have a range of different interests. I have even started explaining out different accents and vocal inflections as intentional (i.e. Instead of saying Kody has a NYC accent I just say that my accent tends to come out only in certain situations and I've learned not to use it in professional situations). I think both statements are true but that one is coming from a plural description and the other is singular.

Any thoughts?

Comments

[linnai.livejournal.com]

Mentally we divide our lives up into parts. There are relationships, private, professional and the like. In our professional life we cannot afford to be out. We aren't in an industry that would understand or respect it and it wouldn't magically gain us anything anyhow. It's not like I could introduce myself as whomever is around at the moment. But it also works for us in that no one has claim to the actual body name, so no one is triggered (much) by saying, "Hi, my name is Angela" etc etc.

In our personal lives, we are ourselves, we are seperate and people we include in our personal lives accept this or aren't part of it, it's that simple. We've scheduled our job AROUND the fact that we are plural... so we have three full days a week to be ourselves, and only work four days, where we STILL get mornings and late nights to have personal time.

We don't do the apology thing... people either accept that sometimes we hate the Beatles, and sometimes love them or they don't have to discuss our taste in music with us. If they can't accept the quirks and individual interests in each of us, then we don't bother to explain the more important, possibly more controvertial things.

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

We have to do the singleton-act, but luckily the 'we' here means Seb and I, and we're quite similar. Not similar meaning indistinguishable, just the kind of similar that twins who spend every minute of every day together and discuss controversial matters until they agree are likely to seem.
Our accent doesn't change much, so far as I know, but our mode of speech probably does. It's never been commented on.
Passing for a singleton is almost always a case of not saying otherwise, so far as we know. People are unlikely to think 'multiple'.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Passing for singlet has always been exhausting for us. It becomes more and more difficult as the years go by.

[ex-memepr0g.livejournal.com]

People who don't know we're plural generally think of us as just rather eccentric. ^^

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

This group switches the main fronters every once in awhile. I became a main fronter about 3 months ago along with Amayah. The fronters change to keep us from becoming too stressed or overworked at the whole single-mind act. Kesiah is also a recent fronter. Before us was Amirah (but stopped after she had the twins) and Kasia. Kasia is still a fronter, but she's a second level fronter. Jenilee goes between being a first level and a second level fronter and has been for a few years now. Robyn used to be a main fronter but since the babies were born she hasn't for some time. Kalli is a main fronter also for the kidlets along with Ashley and Ian. Lisa, Damara and LeAnne are the current fronters for the Clique (our teen group), though sometimes it's Ginger Snap, Sukey, or Vanessa. But it rotates every few months or so. Hope that answers things.

-Butterfly