How to Deal?

[fraginfairy.livejournal.com]

I guess it's bound to happen, but... still. Undergoing a lot of hurt because the man I loved... disappeared? Hard to explain. But his (for lack of a better term) "host" ended up coping? Not needing him anymore? So he's gone. Is this normal? I hope this doesn't offend anyone, I just wanted any answers or... something, I guess. Thanks.

~Frag

Comments

How to deal

[our-menagerie.livejournal.com]

Not sure if this will help but figured Id share it just in case. There were several points at which everyone here considered integrating into me. Partly because the sense of purpose they each started out with no longer existed, and partly because we have realized that a lot of things we thought were trauma based were actually not. There was a time when I felt so strongly that the only way I could be "whole" was for everyone else to ingtegrate, and I thought it would help me cope better on a daily basis and overall things may be better.

Several people in here have relationships with people in another mulitple system. They of course dont ever want anyone here to intgrate. The irony of it is that most of the other system was integrated in the past before we knew them and the ones who are there now were either in hiding/hibernation or have come back somehow. There was a reason that whole system was intgrated so what I asked them was...If you had known me back then would you not have integrated just because I didnt want you to even if you knew it was what was best for yourself(ves)? Now that I think of it, I never did get an answer but the question wasnt intended in a mean way.

I dont know how "normal" it is would depend on different factors like depending if you asked people on this comm or if you asked psychological professionals you would probably get two completely different sides. Problem is as much as we all like to say we would never integrate anyone, it does happen. Not to give you false hope or anything but from what Ive seen both online and in RL, integrations coming apart is much more common than the ones that stick. Im sorry you had to go through this.

~sj

Re: How to deal

[fraginfairy.livejournal.com]

Thank you. ur information did help, and I greatly appreciate it.

Things r getting a bit better, tho. My friend Nam is helping me a lot.