Thanksgiving in the Back Seat

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

So, yeah, I'm at my (er, our) grandma's house for Thanksgiving. The computer I'm on is in the same room where Dad is sleeping, and it's lucky he's a sound sleeper, because he has no idea I exist.

I've been becoming more and more "present" in the world. Last Sunday I actually came out and participated in a conversation face-to-face, for the first time ever. One of the people there didn't know we were multiple, the other did. (Well, his two headmates do, too, to the extent they were there.) Talking is surprisingly easy, when it's something you care about. I'm trying to work my way up to things like introducing myself to Rob's friends - the physicists as well as the more accepting geeks and psychics.

And now I find myself with my family - and I do consider them to be my family; I take my brotherhood with Rob seriously, and I love our relatives, too. But the moment I saw them I found myself all the way back and hiding, like I'm thirteen again. I'm not ready to tell any of them yet, I don't even have any idea whether I'll ever be able to. Just fronting in my grandmother's house has my heart pounding, and while it's novel to actually feel it, I really hate the fear. And I hate taking time off my personal growth for a holiday, it feels like backsliding.

Has anyone come out to parents or siblings? Does it ever go well? How does it go wrong? And, for anyone who's had to teach themselves to front and interact with outsiders, how did you handle getting in situations in the middle where you had to be closeted?

Anyway, I'm off to clear my grandmother's internet history...

Johnny

Comments

[ridetothesea.livejournal.com]

I've told the birth mother, and while she believes it's how I/we experience things, she'd rather not talk about it. She's okay with it, she's just not ready to believe us completely. I think. I've tried easing into telling my sister, but that didn't work at all. Our dad would probably be the most understanding, but I can't tell him because of certain health issues of his. I'm not certain he would understand what I was trying to tell him.