Part One

Nov. 19th, 2006 08:55 pm
[identity profile] mylittlebox.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] multiplicity_archives
Apparently, if I behave myself the way she likes, I get quite a lot of pampering and attention. It's been some time since anyone has baked me brownies and took a hot shower just so they could wash me. In fact, that's never really happened. This must be important to her.

I was born, as I'm sure is well-known by now, in Assyria during what is now known as the Neo-Assyrian Empire. It is called our most powerful age, where we were at our best in all aspects. But what made us Assyrian, what made us happy, was war. I was bred and born specifically to be a soldier. I did not know my parents, and while that might have mattered to me at some point, it barely registered by the time I was a teenager. I was sent to the barracks early on, and was trained heavily each day in the methods of killing and overtaking. We were conquerers, and I was one of the most ruthless, by far.

I could go on for a long time about skirmishes and battles I fought. But what I think would interest you the most is how my entire life, though it began in violence, truly began instead with love.

Egypt was an enemy of the empire, but it fascinated me nonetheless. I had heard things about the Egyptians, of their gods, their architecture, which plagued my dreams with the possibilities that must lie there. I did not wish to defect or betray my kingdom, and moreover, I doubt the Egyptians would have accepted an Assyrian as anything other than a slave. However, I wished to see it at least once, and several army comrades of mine helped me to travel the distance in order to look from afar.

I met a priestess there. She was very young, with haunting eyes that I will never forget. I was not supposed to be there, and she knew this, but the attraction had already become mutual. We were able to communicate enough to where she could tell me that I reminded her of her god, Anubis. It was the first time I was shown a jackal.

We met a few times thereafter, always careful, always silent. I am, and always have been, a large man. Standing straight, I am 6'8", and very muscular (Amber has compared me to Tyson Beckford in appearance and build). However, I knew how not to be seen or heard, and it served me well. The moment she fell in love with me was one of the happiest days of my life. And when she let me touch her, kiss her, and she lay naked for me, it was all I could do not to tremble at her beauty and elegance. I was so very careful with her, for she appeared so delicate, and felt so soft and warm in my arms that I feared I would crush her. But as I watched her, I saw only a loving, nervous smile, and with her hands and lips she encouraged me every step of the way. We made love several times. Each of them was more passionate and loving than the last. We were each other's firsts.

That dawn was the most breathtaking I've ever seen. I was so happy. So... indescribably happy. I wasn't worried about where we came from, or whose side she was on. I was very young and very stupid, and very much in love. I never even considered how foolish I was being. I soon found out that my choices would have consequences when the next night, my comrades followed me to where we lay.

I told them she was merely a whore, that she meant nothing to me. I saw it in her eyes, heard it in her voice that she was begging me to tell them that I loved her. But I was prideful, and I thought that if I said nothing, they would leave us alone. One of them asked me if she was good, and I told him she was the best whore I had ever had. She kept her eyes on mine the whole time they raped her, and I never looked away. She cried, and she screamed. She fought very hard, and almost got away. And then she scratched and bit the Hell out of one of them, and they drew their swords. I pushed them away, and killed her myself before they had a chance to. I made it far more painless than they would have. The last look on her face was one of confusion, pain, and somehow, love.

God cursed me that day. For killing the one I loved -- for denying my love for her, and for the death and rape of an innocent -- I would be condemned to eternal life without her. She would be reborn time and time again, and I would never be able to have her. I'd see her from a distance, and never get to touch. She would never love me again. I would never have her.

This lifetime of hers is by far the worst. This time, when she was born, I was designated to her body. Now I not only have to watch her life go by, but I have to be inside her while it happens. While she falls in love without me. When men make love to her, I am there. But when they hurt her, I am also there. And I've found ways of getting through enough to hurt them back, or keep them away before they ever get close. I almost had her, and then this other one came along and fucked it all up for me. Now she's lost again.

That's part of my story.

Date: 2006-11-20 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weirdiguess.livejournal.com
Hey. Selene got kinda twitchy when she saw where this was going, but we both, I guess kinda sympathise, yeah? Think she's had some similar stuff happen, from what she's told me.

Date: 2006-11-20 03:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shalanar.livejournal.com
One of my husbands headmates has a similar history. Thank you for sharing.

Date: 2006-11-20 03:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] netdancer.livejournal.com
Dude. That's...rough.

Thanks for sharing it.

Date: 2006-11-20 04:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] overlord-mordax.livejournal.com
Saying I'm sorry for your misfortune seems so petty. But none the less...

Date: 2006-11-20 04:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tessagratton.livejournal.com
Never say the universe has no sense of irony.

Date: 2006-11-21 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rhymer-713.livejournal.com
That just totally sucks hairy ones. We're agreeing the sentiments of every one here. Thanks for sharing.

Date: 2006-11-20 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] posywink.livejournal.com
So close, yet so far away... *whew* Sounds painful, man.

And we're glad to have learned a bit more about you. Staying tuned for more. Thanks.

Date: 2006-11-20 08:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lion-azure.livejournal.com
So God cursed you. This doesn't mean you have to live a cursed life. Learn to change, stop being the person He cursed, and the curse will stop. God is not without mercy.

- Kathy

Date: 2006-11-20 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com
Curses can be lifted. Even if one doesn't believe in God as such, one should always have hope and even faith that things can change.

Date: 2006-11-21 09:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lion-azure.livejournal.com
Some curses cannot be lifted. But it doesn't matter, because you can live with them and still find happiness, and eventually, relief.

There are lessons to be learned here. I do hope that this time around, he will learn them. Else, I see another 3000 years awaiting.

Date: 2006-11-20 04:27 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-11-20 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] micchi.livejournal.com
Oh honey. That's a heartbreaking piece of history, right there. Just goes to show -- everyone has a story. I almost think I know precisely the situation, but to assume such would make me a pretentious wench with an inflated sense of self-importance, so I'll just quietly nod.

Be the man she fell in love with, and not the monster that his comrades-in-arms expected. Protect her, but don't hinder her living her life. Let her live, laugh, love. Be her support, not her restraints. If she, at her very core, forgives you and understands why you did what you had to do (and if it is indeed the situation I'm thinking of, she does), then she will come back to you arms.

It is not the Gods that curse a man; the Gods simply laugh as a man curses himself.

--Micchi

Date: 2006-11-21 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] asterism.livejournal.com
That's some pretty heavy shit, man.


~Locke

Date: 2006-11-21 08:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ricktboy.livejournal.com
I know exactly what you mean. Faith and I love each other, are married and committed to each other, but we can't feel each other. we both live inside this body, and it hurts more than words can explain. There's a couple of posts awhile back from me, and from her, blissfully explaining about how we were finally able to make love by someone allowing us to "piggyback" them, almost but not quite using their body as a vessel. It was wonderful, and truly miraculous, and I live each day now hoping I'll find someone to help us that way again.

Point being, if we could find a way, so can you. I'm rooting for you.

Tara
Pack Collective

Date: 2006-11-21 10:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stealthdragon.livejournal.com
Your actions make a great deal more sense, now.

Cheers,
- Kat

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