A Question of Expansion

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

Hey, gang(s).

There's been all sorts of trouble with Auroch and I here lately, and for that I once again do apologize. But I think I may be making some sort of progress. We've spent the last few days in each other's company almost exclusively, and I've been talking with him at length. It's come down to this:

Begrudgingly, he said he would consider actually speaking like a civil human being about his experiences and thoughts (not "feelings" -- he really didn't like that word), but admitted to being wary of what others thought of him and how they would respond. It's not normal insecurity for him -- he just has no desire to reveal information about himself if he's to be replied to in a way that would belittle him.

His past, his life, especially before this body, is very important to him. And since I think it would benefit his attitude to interact sociall with other beings, he's agreed. That, and I have agreed that if he does this, I owe him something he's been aching for: more control, more freedom, and more fronting.

Anyone think this is a good idea?

Comments

personally

[drakul-apollyon.livejournal.com]

Personally I think communication is always a good thing. I can understand his feelings about not wanting to reveal information about him self, tis always a pain when it's received badly. Overstate things and people laugh or mock, understate and typically they don't truly grasp what your saying.
I don't have much of a opinion on his earlier comments, they amuse me to be honest. There's a couple in here that can understand his, ah, Lust's shall we say. But they've come to realize that it's rather a problem indulging them these days. If talking to others helps him to calm down, it's a good thing. If all it does is rile him up and make him pissy and controlling, it's a bad thing /shrug.. Sorry for the long comment, I'm going to bed in a minute, and I have a bad habit of getting wordy when I'm tired.

Drakul and Co.

Re: personally

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

We're very tired, too. And I don't think it will make him pissy, or get him worked up. If allowed to indulge his arrogant side where he can talk about himself, he usually becomes very calm and almost pleasant.

Re: personally

[drakul-apollyon.livejournal.com]

Well if he can indeed speak like a civil being, and it makes him calm and close to pleasant, it's a good idea. Just be careful of were and when he speaks. Some places are safer than others. There's a couple beings in here that would be willing to speak to him, that has had to make a transition to being a controlled sadist in this life.

Re: personally

[isshindenshin.livejournal.com]

Just be careful of were and when he speaks. Some places are safer than others.

I agree with this. I'm multiple as well, but my life "before this body" is very important to me, too, and it has left me with a number of things to work through. Because I'm perceived as a soulbond, however, it might not be appropriate to deal with them here. There are other forums, but they would also have their own levels of demanded civility.

[lion-azure.livejournal.com]

Speaking as a reformed egocentric bastard and a reformed doormat (it's a long story)... keep a tight watch on him, and don't let him trample all over you. Remember, you're the one in control, even though you might not think so.

As for him talking about his experiences *shrugs* nothing against it. I guess one reason why his first post was taken so badly was that he barged in here all "roar I'm the king of the jungle", to which countless people (my own system included) were like "who does he think he is? And more importantly, who does he think we are, a bunch of n00bs???". Because, as has been said, this community is rife with people who could, to continue with the netspeak, pwn his ass if they ever met him face to astral face :P. So, a little more humility, and he shouldn't have that much of a problem. Oh, and maybe place all that stuff about raping and killing people behind a lj cut, if he really feels the desire to post it here? Myself, I'm not bothered with it (used to work in the inhumation business myself), but there are people who are bothered by it - and with good reason - so he should keep with what's regarded common courtesy and use a cut.

- Malak

[chaostiny.livejournal.com]

I do think this is a good idea...as long as you compromise about when and how this happens...
Is he or any one in you a Space 1999 fan? Just curious due to the name...:)

[chaostiny.livejournal.com]

Oops... I meant Blakes 7...sorry! There is a character with a similar name just spelled different:)

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

Never heard of either of those.

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

Within reason.

As Malak said, it can be easy for someone like that to forget that as well as a 'right' of sorts, it is also a privilige. It can be easy for them to trample. It has to go both ways. You learn to give him freedom, he learns to respect it.

Having been a 'right fucked up individual' for a long time (suppose you might say I still am one) I can understand his unease about talking to people. If he can try to handle it maturely, I know there are several people in the community who'd be happy to try and relate.

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

It could be a good plan - see what everyone else has sad vis respecting each other, not being a doormat, ect.

Kiril and Mage would like to totally agree that this whole 'emotions' thing is terrifyingly dangerous. Kiril's a lot further along towards the whole 'feelings of an almost human nature' thing then Mage is.

We wouldn't mind reading his posts; do agree that the really dark stuff might need to be cut for the comfort of some folks.

Kiril was suggesting that I ask: Do you do any kind of martial art, or Tai Chi? You might find it tremendously helpful, both for you and for him - it helps to find oneself in a stronger and more capable body. A lot.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

That could be a veeeeery good idea.

[stealthdragon.livejournal.com]

I have agreed that if he does this, I owe him something he's been aching for: more control, more freedom, and more fronting.

So long as he can be civil in RL as well as online, I say go for it. It's a chance to learn about him by watching his actions (assuming you share memories, etc).

[posywink.livejournal.com]

We think this is a fine idea. We have some not-so-wholesome experiences and fantasies as well, and it seems that we're not the only ones. Yeah, go on and post; some of us might even relate in a small way, even if we don't type up a reply. Give it a shot; see if it helps you guys. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, y'know?

-- Craig and Kara

[exegetic.livejournal.com]

I think it is a good idea. I also think that perhaps you could give him something to take care of that is his responsibility and his alone? I know that I have had similar problems to him before, and due to my own selfishness, did not want to work with the others in my system. Because of that I was banned from fronting as well.

After working it out and being allowed more freedom, I was put in charge of getting certain household chores done. And it's surprising how much those simple tasks helped me see that I was part of a group, and that everyone had to help or things could go very awry. Perhaps Auroch could benefit from the same.

[heike7.livejournal.com]

It sounds like a fantastic idea. Perhaps you would not have to restrain him so much if he learns how to socialize. A few of us would probably relate to him in several ways...

[tessagratton.livejournal.com]

Only practice makes perfect, to quote the saying.

I have someone a lot like Auroch, I think - in desires and also in ego. He didn't really have a concept of modern communication, or how to sound mature. He is old, but... inhuman, too, and simply didn't understand how to talk and write without coming across as a big egomaniacal bastard. (Which he undoubtedly *is*). Slowly fronting more and practicing talking with safe people was the only thing that helped him develop the communication skills necessary for more frequent fronting. He's always got Tynan looking over his shoulder, just in case - but it's more of a formality these days than a necessity.

Well, Tynan says that isn't true - that Ter's just waiting for us to let down our gauard, etc, etc, but Tynan's an untrusting and overly suspicious guy. I think that practice has allowed Ter to understand that it's worth more to him to be polite and actually communicate in the long run. At least in certain situations, he says.