so happy!!!!

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

so my friend that i posted about a couple days ago.....she is still coming to terms with being multiple, but she read what i wrote and all the comments, and is finally accepting that they are really all their own people in there.

along the same lines, i'm getting way better at telling them apart, and when we are alone, she'll let me talk about anything, so long as i let her be whoever she wants whenever she wants. it's awesome, it's like winning all the time!!!

plus i found out that i am really friends with more of her alters than i imagined. i just didnt always know when they were out, unless they were acting at the extremes of their behavior.

like today i got to spend time with Natalia!!!!!!!!! i never get to see her!!! and she point blank told me that she never says anything negative about me. i was surprised. i figured she'd mock my lack of an exciting life. but she's usually sleeping i guess. bc life doesnt stimulate her enough.

it's just interesting bc now that she is ok w/them being different people, i can use their names more and it's easier for me to conceptualize. like i needed help with math. elena was there for me. it was perfect.

i'm actually pretty surprised that other people can't tell them apart...but i used to not be able to either. now it's like....kate makes the cutest lip movements and is quieter. she also seems to have the same emotions as i do most of the time. anna is so direct and told me that she would fight to stay friends with me! natalia always wears makeup and jewelry and looks up at people and questions her morality. elena likes to curl up small usually, but today she was all over that math! she also lives for the dictionary game! i think hillary might also like the dictionary game. hillary is just....everything to me. calm, determined, i guess i dont know her just as her yet, i just mostly know her as everyone combined so far. and screaming girl....i just want to comfort her. she really wants to be normal.

i'm just so blown away that everyone likes me, i guess. i was soooo worried that i was only friends with kate, but now i'm getting a much better picture. i guess it helps that i dont have a very solid identity myself so i just love a million random things, so pretty much anything i bring up will interest at least one person in there!

Comments

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

Alters?

Do you typically refer to friends who don't have their own bodies as "alters"? Is your friend an "alter" too?

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

i'm not very good at the terminology yet. i just have to grasp at something. this is extremely new to me, up until about 3 weeks ago there was just hillary, and until like yesterday, she had been trying to convince me that they were all "her" so it's a big learning process.

she just calls them all "friends" which i think is cool but i wasn't sure if that would be confusing. is there a better term? she is the primary i guess, but i'm mainly friends with her 14 yr old "friend" kate

believe me....my main goal in life is to make people happy :-) i was not trying to be at all offensive, it's tricky to figure this stuff out so i just use the words i can. luckily nothing offends her at this point.

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

Every household seems to have different terminology.

But "alters" seems collectively offensive. I was corrected at one point, so don't feel too bad.

I talk English good. *rolls eyes* Don't mind me. I'm out of it today.

-Annwn System^The Echo

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

oh ok what do you say? i am still feeling out how to work it....i usually will just say "everyone" if i feel like i need to really get something across that is super important

we are learning together, and helping each other (i'm borderline), and she even encourages me to use any word to keep the conversation flowing even if i'm uncertain.

now that she's more confident that they are all separate people, we will def have to use new terms. friends is good but sometimes i get confused that screaming girl is her friend. like, she just screams and cries. and it's so odd that they can do things that make the other ones upset. and it's like, what if i agree with what Natalia wants but i know hillary and kate will not like it later? that is really tough for me. i mean, they should all get to live their own lives, right?

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

damn right everyone should live their own lives. ya think its fair that just the one used to being around the most that they get their own life? pssh. bull.

anyway, our friends (outter, not in here) call us "the others" and that seems to go over well enough here.

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

well, i guess this just goes to show that learning from research is not as good as learning from those who are actually experiencing it. i really appreciate this. when she just threw "friends" at me i was like...."duh!" of course they are her friends! why would i have thought anything else? but i'm a concrete thinker......so i had to re-adjust my world view at first

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

We use "others" or just "people".

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

I generally use "head-mates" if ordinary sorts of plural words (you guys, etc.) wouldn't be clear.

Johnny

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

We use 'people'. If we need to be (or feel like being) a little more specific, we use 'headmates'. Others will use different terms, it's just 'alters' and terms like it that can upset some individuals, because it implies not thinking they're a real person.

If you want to make sure Nat knows the other girls won't like it later, then sure you can tell her, "Is XYZ going to be ok with that?", though they might (might might) be bothered by it. Multiple systems are stupid complicated :P Be however you want without being a hypocrite (ie: changing your tune for whoever is fronting)

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hmmmm. If it helps any, we call ach other people. After all, that's what we are. I agree with the poster above, but if you've never been around a multiple...We're just people, people who happen to share a body. That's all multiplicity is--nothing more, nothing less. We aren't trying to offend either...

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

I think it's awesome how enthusiastic you are about this! I really wish we had a friend like you =/ None of our IRL friends have shown any real interest in getting to know us as seperate people, even though we've shown an interest in getting to know them.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

That really bites! We're trying to re-educate our IRL friends too. Hang in there.

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

i still feel awful that not everyone believes her. i mean, it's SO OBVIOUS to me now!!! and so amazing!!! and the more she accepts it, the more i can develop intense relationships with all of them, which seriously kicks ass.

i'm sure that a lot of IRL people are just scared or unsure. i'm a research fanatic who also has mental illness...she accepts me and understands that emotionally i'm only 7. when i have a "concrete thinking panic attack" she walks me through it without judging. no one else can do that for me.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

We're all applauding. We're so happy your situation is better. Tell your friend hi for us too. If she has an LJ she's welcome on our FL and so are you.
We're just so glad to hear that you're liked.
The Rhymershouse Collective as a whole

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

i'm working very hard to get her to join this comm and FL lots of ppl from this comm.....i know she's been overwhelmed now that she realizes she is actually juggling 5 ppl's lives (her words, not mine) and also going through some other personal stuff, at least on the hillary end of things

i'm so happy i'm liked too. it was like the biggest brain and heart hug ever to hear Natalia just flat out say "no offense i dont mean anything negative about you" i was like just like whoa. you like me too.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

*applauds**

[ikeru.livejournal.com]

i like this happy post, it is a world-brightener.

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

yay! i'm so glad!!! i just want to make everyone happy - hillary, kate, natalia, anna, elena, even screaming girl. it's a bit tough, but like i said above, we are both learning how to deal with this togheter, adn she has 100% of my support, which i simply love giving. nothing means friendship to me more than her feeling that she doesnt have to hold back, so i love her a million times more for getting to be open with me.

if i wasnt going through my own issues though, i'd probably have a much harder time with this. my own therapy has really opened my mind to new possibilites

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

This sounds like a good experience. :)

Amalah

[coconutchica.livejournal.com]

i really couldn't ask for anything more! i've always kind of wondered what was going on inside her head, why sometiems she just flat-out ignored me when boys were around, why so often she didnt respond til i called her name 3 times, why she double booked plans so often, why (and this was the total clincher) why her eyes changed. i mean my eyes change physically, like they squint if i'm mad, but her whole face changes shape but you can see it most through her eyes. anna's eyes are made of steel. natalia's are flitty. kate's are huge. elena's are usually half open unless she's focused. hillary's are just....normal to me, i guess, bc so far to me i only know hillary as the careful conglomeration. she tells me she's quite cynical. i mostly know a hillary/kate/elena hybrid.

but i love it! it's like learning more and more each day, and being supported so much the more i learn about myself!

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

it's wonderful that they have a good friend like you. Most of the friends we have that are accepting of us also tend to say things like, "why don't people believe you, it's so obvious"

We just spent a couple of days with a REALLY good friend who accepts us all as individuals, and never thought any other way. It's nice to be who we are, and switch in and out as our interest is piqued without having to "pretend" we're all Rick, and stuff...and she's one of the friends who 'just know' who's out when. She picks up on energy, not just mannerisms and voice.

anyhow, congrats to both of you, friend us if you like, all of our journals are on rick's info page(this journal's rick's) and our aim name is collective10in1

The Pack Collective