(no subject)

[redrainstorm.livejournal.com]

I went into therapy very vague today, telling her "there's so much about me that you don't know about, and it's so important to understand who I am, but I don't know how to talk about it". I got so nervous I went into a panic attack pretty much. She put on soft music, and let me sit in a comfy chair to relax and do some deep breathing. I finally just broke down. So, I told my new counselor today that I'm multiple and there are close to 50 members that are near the front... with only about 5 being regularly switching out right now. She took it well... She had a friend that was multiple with 3 or 4 personalities... She's also very against integration unless the client sees it as somehow beneficial...
I just worry because I feel like... she sees them as just other parts of me... just pieces of personality... I emphasized many times how we're separate people and not just a split off of me (the one with the name on the birth certificate). How can I make this absolutely clear to her so that we're not going in 15 sessions later with her believing that those I am with are simply just me providing a "role" or an emotion?

Comments

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

Write it down, more or less as here, and give it to her? I mean, it's not such a hard abstract idea to 'know', the problem is in what her mind can cope with, and it may take her time to adjust. Having it written down openly (that you are people, and why you believe this is so) may give her a tangible reminder while she goes through this process.

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

*nods* agrees about writing a letter* that's what we do with our counselor.. we write out what we're thinking/feeling/ need to work on..especially if we have a disagreement with her.. it gives us a starting place for discussion..
It can be really useful.. and that way you say exactly what you want to say and have time to look it over.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I wish I had better advice for you because that's similar in ways to something we went through several years ago. We had gone to see a counselor (actually, had kind of been pushed into it) due to problems that were obviously caused by an external life situation, but finally decided, maybe unwisely, that we had to come out to the counselor in order for her to really get a handle on what was going on. The problem was, she was never very helpful to us anyway. And got toooo fascinated with the multiplicity thing and kept thinking of it as "parts of you," even though she said it was okay if we didn't want to integrate, so that made it even less helpful than it would have been otherwise.

So, I can't really offer any advice based on our experience, because in our equivalent situation, we really were never able to make much headway with her in proving that we were separate people and not roles or parts. And most of us worried that if we pushed too hard on that, she'd push back with "well, you must be in denial of the fact that you split and maybe you're unhealthily invested in being split." It was apparently just too far outside of her own paradigm.

I think it ultimately depends on whether she helps you in other ways. In our situation we were finally willing to call it quits because she hadn't been much help to us in any case. If she helps you about other things, then you might be willing to either keep trying to see if you can reason with her about that, or grit your teeth and put up with it, so that whatever you are getting from her that's useful, you can keep getting some of that. But it's your choice.