peekaboo

[cheshire-house.livejournal.com]

We just found another of the Kinder.
Not sure of origin completely, but so far she's told us that she's a little girl, is either a mute or just doesn't speak (possible trauma on her side.) I think she's circa WWII, and she's german. Something involving the Berlin Wall is quite vivid, that's for sure. She's something of a street urchin, if that makes sense. Socially, she's very, very shy...but we can feel the defiance and courage and such burning underneath the sooty, dirt-smeared exterior. So adorable in her own way! (working with english is a little tricky with her around...grammar from english and german start mixing with words, but no big deal. ^^)

Anyone have any experience/ideas on working with non-speakers?
The main problem so far (exterior-wise) is she tends to emerge in the middle of german class (understandably) and makes participating in any verbal exercise pointless...much to the frustration of die Professorin. Die Professorin has allowed her (haha...doesn't know ich bin wir) to write the verbal exercises instead of speaking. When the professor notices she's coming out, i'm asked, "you're shutting down, aren't you?" :lol:

She wants me to get her some Nina Hagen musik. She doesn't like Rammstein...too noisy. ^^

Comments

[cheshire-house.livejournal.com]

add-note: starting to think there's a good chance she's a past life. Very unconfirmed, though.

[judiff]

we have gwyny in our system who doesn't speak (well she did once but it was realy hard and painful for her) if she trusts someone (like our best friend) she will comunicate by "writing" with her finger on their hand (of course she doesn't spell any better than the rest of us - we're all dyslexic - so it isn't always toatly clear what she's trying to say) - I don't know if that would be at all practical for you

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Yeah... as a matter of fact I was just coming to this Lj to post, because I'm having troubles along those lines myself. I don't have any real suggestions for you, though. Mine used to not talk, but these days he can, a little - usually he won't, though, except to his twin, who 'translates' for him, and his English is not good. He can't read at all, doesn't grasp the concept of reading... doesn't understand most aspects of human society, and he's both very shy and very stubborn.

I don't have any idea what I'd do if I found myself being him (or, as people say, him being "front") in the midst of Civilization. The problem I have is that when I'm him, I tend to disappear into the wilderness - when I was younger, sometimes it would be for several days, with no word to anyone about where I was going, which naturally caused problems. These days, if I'm going into the wild, I tell people, and it's usually not for that long.

He is happy in the forest, and once he gets into it, he won't come out till his brother comes to fetch him home, which means I can lose whole days to wandering aimlessly, clearing new trails, playing the flute, and building little structures and patterns of stone. He also climbs things (trees, cliffs, whatever) and will swim in any water, no matter how cold or wild - he's very good at it, but he's also very reckless, and I don't think he quite realizes the body he's in is that of a 46-year-old woman. His twin looks after him pretty well and mostly keeps him out of trouble, but sometimes they are having problems with one another, so he goes off on his own.

That's when I find myself limping home from the wilderness, exhausted, aching, hungry, filthy dirty, with a dozen different cuts and bruises, and no clear idea of where I've been or for how long... but, on the plus side, with a head full of new music... and if I'm lucky, I haven't missed anything important I was supposed to do in Civilization. It helps to some extent that people know I'm autistic, and thus don't hold me to too high a standard of "normalcy" - also that this is the Pacific Northwest, where extreme-wilderness aficionados are not unusual. He's probably the most autistic one of me... but also the strongest in a lot of ways, the most peaceful, one of the most talented, and definitely the one with the best wilderness skills.

This is him (http://bwr.hyperchat.com/newchat/r/silences/~bwr/CEdark.jpg), an "artist's conception" - I didn't draw it, but I did alter it from the original quite a bit. His brother does not think it is a very good likeness, but... whatever.

[aynetal3.livejournal.com]

We have a non-speaker too. Her name is Lissa (short i). She developed when we were about seven to handle the alcoholic and sadistic father who enjoyed beating her. She's never talked nor would we dream of pushing that on her. When we were younger, she studied the sign language symbols in the encyclopedia. The books were in her assigned room after school. We had to stay in the dining room. My brother "owned" the living room, and my "sister" owned the kitchen. We all had access to outside and the bathrooms without needing to speak to one another or cross paths. The dog could roam freely.

Now days, nobody, but nobody would ever dare to beat Lissa. We're all much stronger and more protective and most of us including Lissa have aged. Lissa does our research work for us on the computer amd is the "systems" most curious and investigative student. She's quite happy with her responsibilities. I think she finds even the sign language too cumbersome. Usually she's very clear with her gestures and she leaves good paths to follow. We don't worry over her because she can't speak. She's very good at sensing when the "system" is in trouble or needs a helpful hand or resource. We love her to pieces.

[kiya]

How good are you at co-consciousness, shared-front and skill-pooling?

(A note -- we're median, and I don't know how much different this would be for a multiple system, or if it'd be useful at all.)

Most of the time when one of my largely non-verbals (I have several; one has about a six-word functional vocabulary, one essentially can swear and use body language) is front, I can get one of the verbal processors sharing front in order to do the translation of meaning into language. (But I usually have a couple of people onstage all the time, so that's native for me.)

When one of the nonverbals has sole front, I tend to get sort of frustrated, honestly, and it builds up until someone can take front back from them. (It's particularly frustrating when something needs to be communicated, and the folks available to take front don't understand it to say it when they get there.) I can often write or type even when I can't speak; they seem to be weirdly disjoint in my head. That doesn't help the speaking stuff, though.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, the Berlin Wall wasn't built until 1961, if that's any help in tracking down her background... The one thing an elective mute needs more than anything is to know that they're not going to be criticised or condemned for speaking. She needs to know you're a friend. You could show her some children's films in German or read her some fairy stories.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I think it's more common than people usually estimate to have elective mutes in systems. We have one, who communicates through a sort of sign language. We also have another group of people who are called Speakers-- that is, they never actually speak aloud, but they write, mostly online, and often have very distinctive voices; often they write very important things, or things the rest of us have trouble putting into words.


Anthea

we resemble that remark!

[kaleidescope.livejournal.com]

our own mouse (http://livejournal.com/~twinklemouse) used never to speak. she was sort of small and frozen. she COULD speak, technically, if the alternative was too horrible for her. like, she couldn't bring herself to talk out loud to our friends or significant others, but when they were at a restaurant together she could order food because it would be much worse to draw attention to herself (she thought) by not talking.

fortunately after some therapy using EMDR she was convinced/encouraged to try accepting the possibility that it might be okay to leave her sort of self-imposed frozen place and she grew by leaps and bounds and now is preparing to start her own survivors of incest anonymous meeting and all kinds of big talking stuff.

but we were lucky that we were around people who accepted that about her. before, she used to come out around our roommate/friend/brother/ex and he got very frustrated that he couldn't do anything to help her and sort of wrote her off. pfft.

our kids in general and probably some other people too have wanted to learn sign language to communicate (hampered somewhat by not knowing a lot of people who know sign language) because they think their voices aren't enough like what they sound like in the body, or that they sound too different out here, or they're just scared of whatever about communicating vocally. we are in fact in our second sign language class, and it's awesome, we highly recommend it :)

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

I'm only just starting to explore my system, and I'm just trying to coax a two year old who's only spoken to me on the verge of going to sleep to speak when I'm awake, but she hasn't yet.

As for your child, maybe try using such basic items as crayons, playdoh or painting? Even if she doesn't talk straight away, it may pique her curiosity if you're drawing and she may venture out and draw something of her own in a while. Sometimes direct verbal contact can seem very confrontational to little ones until they've got a bit more comfortable. (Can you tell at all that we studied to be a child care teacher? *g*) Also, things like painting and drawing are a universal language, like music. Pictures, whether by a german child or an english child can be read by all.

If she emerges during German class, probably because the language is familiar to her, maybe watch or listen to German films or books on tape at home, and see if she'll come out? They say smells are the biggest memory trigger, but for us, sounds and language can be pretty potent.

I think slowly, slowly should probably be the way to go. Maybe read something like Beautiful Child by Torey Hayden. Torey's had a career of working with electively mute and traumatised kids, and her techniques for bringing her kids out of their shells might give you some ideas.

[ghostwalker.livejournal.com]

We have Static, whom does not speak. Sereph surfaces with him to act as 'Interpreter' and to Protect.

-Brian (of the Ghostwalkers)

[myorp.livejournal.com]

one of my closest in-system friends can't speak very well. she's the youngest in many ways because while she is technically seven years old (seven years younger than me) she was a ferral child until she started living with us.

as far as we can tell she was two when she somehow wound up on her own in the woods and she grew up with animals. i don't know if it helps or not but i have found that she does still communicate through vivid though-descriptions more than through the use of language. she uses a few basic words that she learned when she was little to supplement that and sometimes the thought-pictures she uses are almost overwhelming.

she's very experienced in the wild and i think once may have killed and eaten a dog when i was asleep one night as we found much blood outside and in a few places in the house the next morning but she's very friendly.

i don't know if that helps but maybe you're little german girl can talk in a more simple thought-language to you too? i hope something i said managed to help a bit...

~my

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

We have a few non-speakers (one is two or three years old (Freddie), another is purely sexual (Rick), and another is an alien drone from the movies) but since niether surfaces as far as I know it doesn't cause any real practical problems.

A couple of the others don't LIKE to talk physically, but they'll do it if they have to. Like Margaux will only physically speak to two people -- Our ex and a mutual friend of Our ex. Both are multis themselves and they seem to like Margaux more than Me (sob) so she trusts them enough to surface obviously around them. Otherwise she has to drag Ray or Masterboy up to do her talking for her and she really doesn't like that.

"She wants me to get her some Nina Hagen musik. She doesn't like Rammstein...too noisy."

Egad. I know how THAT works... Half the music collection is stuff most of Us wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole (Dear Larz, We own both Spice Girls CDS...), but certain Krew like it so it gets bought.