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multiplicity_archivesA couple of years ago, one of our system members left. Her name was Anne, and I'd like to take a moment just to tell you about her and her life.
Anne was with us for a very long time. She used to tell me that the earliest she could remember being in this body was when it was 6 years of age. She said anything earlier than that was a confused blur. She would send me emotions, images of this time, and all I can say is that it felt like being trapped in a sheet in some warm, dark place.
When Anne was first singled out, she was referred to as "The Baby", and referred to as a 'child alter'. This was because back when we were first in therapy, I did not know that the others that shared my body were actual people and not just sides and fragments of myself that I could blame for all of my troubles, or as an excuse to deny myself the good things in life (and instead give those things to others). After her experiences with a negative and coercive therapist, Anne found herself having an identity crisis and went on a personal journey alone, but with support from the rest of us. Anne went from being someone who conforms to others' expectations, to a lively, wonderful adult woman who was kind, generous, and thoughtful.
One day, we noticed Anne was no longer with us, which was unusual for her. There are others in here who do leave periodically and return, so we thought perhaps that she had decided to explore in other ways. One day she did come back, but it was to say goodbye. She was wearing this gorgeous white dress (I know this sounds cliche, but this is really what happened) in the kind of style Jackie O. would wear. She looked so good, so happy. She came up to me and said "Mom?" (because a lot of us adopted her as parents)"It's time for me to go on."
I asked her where she was going, and she looked behind her with a sigh. "I'm going where I'm needed. It's time."
She didn't need to say anything else. I knew exactly where she was going, and I was stunned. For all these years, so many of us had assumed that she had been born to this body along with the rest of us. We had no idea that all this time, she had been from elsewhere.
She smiled at me fondly, gave me a hug, said goodbye to everyone, and then vanished in a great light.
I miss Anne very much, but I know she's in the right place. Sometimes I feel guilty wondering if listening to these so-called professionals might have delayed her journey on to a better life, but I remember that I was a kid for so much of that time, and there really was no better supports out there back then.
Good luck, Anne. We miss you and love you, and hope that you're happy wherever you may roam.
-Jen
Anne was with us for a very long time. She used to tell me that the earliest she could remember being in this body was when it was 6 years of age. She said anything earlier than that was a confused blur. She would send me emotions, images of this time, and all I can say is that it felt like being trapped in a sheet in some warm, dark place.
When Anne was first singled out, she was referred to as "The Baby", and referred to as a 'child alter'. This was because back when we were first in therapy, I did not know that the others that shared my body were actual people and not just sides and fragments of myself that I could blame for all of my troubles, or as an excuse to deny myself the good things in life (and instead give those things to others). After her experiences with a negative and coercive therapist, Anne found herself having an identity crisis and went on a personal journey alone, but with support from the rest of us. Anne went from being someone who conforms to others' expectations, to a lively, wonderful adult woman who was kind, generous, and thoughtful.
One day, we noticed Anne was no longer with us, which was unusual for her. There are others in here who do leave periodically and return, so we thought perhaps that she had decided to explore in other ways. One day she did come back, but it was to say goodbye. She was wearing this gorgeous white dress (I know this sounds cliche, but this is really what happened) in the kind of style Jackie O. would wear. She looked so good, so happy. She came up to me and said "Mom?" (because a lot of us adopted her as parents)"It's time for me to go on."
I asked her where she was going, and she looked behind her with a sigh. "I'm going where I'm needed. It's time."
She didn't need to say anything else. I knew exactly where she was going, and I was stunned. For all these years, so many of us had assumed that she had been born to this body along with the rest of us. We had no idea that all this time, she had been from elsewhere.
She smiled at me fondly, gave me a hug, said goodbye to everyone, and then vanished in a great light.
I miss Anne very much, but I know she's in the right place. Sometimes I feel guilty wondering if listening to these so-called professionals might have delayed her journey on to a better life, but I remember that I was a kid for so much of that time, and there really was no better supports out there back then.
Good luck, Anne. We miss you and love you, and hope that you're happy wherever you may roam.
-Jen
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Re: This'll probably get me flamed. Oh, what the hell.
Date: 2006-10-04 01:16 pm (UTC)People grow. Another friend (same system) said she feels sometimes like a "meat robot" that was created in their teens to deal with day to day life in the world, but that she's "exceeded her programming." People are interesting.