Questions and Confusion

[browncoatrebel.livejournal.com]

After my last therapy session, I've been really confused about things internally. I don't know what's happened with the little one I "rescued" from the memory she was stuck in. I brought her to my safe place, and now I am *always* aware of her. Is this some version of co-consciousness? It's not like anything else I've experienced, and I've been told I was co-conscious.

The other thing is that this 3-year-old child is so needy, and I don't know what to do. I don't have a paradigm of experience for reparenting an internal child stuck in an adult body--*my* adult body.

For instance, she really wants to be held. Well, there's no one I trust to do that, so I don't really know what to do. Imagery can only go so far.



I just don't know what to do. Or what's going on. Or anything.

Sara

Comments

[cirquels.livejournal.com]

I've found out that if you hug yourself. Or give yourself things, you can actually touch eachother. Atleast with myself I can. Jules and I hold hands all the time.

[the-grayling.livejournal.com]

Very good advice, and I've found the same to be true.

Also, hugging yourself connects the steel and fire meridian lines of the body, which keeps the body's energy internally circulating and mostly self-sustaining.

Children love hugs and gifts from someone who cares about them.

[ques-nova.livejournal.com]

Do you not have a "physical-like" headspace? In our headspace, everyone has their own room with furniture and all, and everyone can interact with each other (hell, some of them even have ridiculously loud sex and so we had to "sound-proof" their rooms.)

[browncoatrebel.livejournal.com]

Yes, we do. But as she is now constantly present in the body, she wants outside physical touch. And there's no one safe.

Sara

[ques-nova.livejournal.com]

On a side note, I love your username XD

[ladycatherina.livejournal.com]

Wrapping my body tightly in blankets and pillows can sometimes give me the sensation of being held - not quite the same, I know, but it does help.

I have a child in my system, too - a seven year old girl named Ashley. She fronts when I'm in "little-kid" environments or when I've just been too busy or serious for too long - but we're not co-conscious. I mostly use guided-imagery meditations and read children's books in the library sometimes, or go play on swings.

[little-heather.livejournal.com]

When we lived close to a park sj would take us there and sit on the swings or let one of us kids come out and swing for even a few minutes was usually enough. The last kid who came here very upset was secret and sj physically took the body for a walk and took secret with her co-consciously and asked her what she needed. Secret said she only needed to feel a real daisy (she didnt know what it was called at first but drew us a picture of it) because she loved them and had never seen one out here and that she needed to be held and covered with a soft blanket. For about a week she continually needed this and sj did her best to give it to her when she could and to wrap her up in the blanket and be co conscious with her out here so sj could hold secret herself. It was kind of scary and it was hard because essentially sj had to take care of secret and herself at the same time but it was the only thing that worked when holding her in our inside world wasnt working.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Your therapist didn't discuss the idea of "internal" space or help you create any? Or is that what you meant by imagery?

I mean to say, of course your people share your body, but where do they go when they're not up front?

Does this story help or give you ideas:
http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/quietstorm.html

Other thoughts: Yes to the blankets, get her some crayons, pinwheels, some good books (you can read to her, even if she doesn't understand exactly every word she'll enjoy it). Alice in Wonderland, The Hobbit, Robert Louis Stevenson, books about nature, earth and space. One of our children suggests warm baths, maybe with bubble stuff. Jay suggests Teletubbies which is just about his favorite show.

[browncoatrebel.livejournal.com]

Imagery/internal space...more or less the same thing for us. What she wants is for someone *outside* to hold her, and there's no one who would be safe to ask.

Sara

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That is a tough one, for sure, and one that many of us have had. You have our sympathies. All I can really suggest at this point is co-running....

[hazelwindows.livejournal.com]

Maybe, by needing specifically *outside* hugs, she is asking or troubled by why there is no one to hug [care] for her in outside circumstances. If so, reassurance you give her that you are nonetheless there to hug and care for her needs might ease the sense that outside hugs are what she must have.
Getting hugs from "someone" on the outside is not going to fulfill a need like that unless it is someone known and trusted. It makes me wonder whether she is recalling or wanting someone particular that she thinks is/should be on the outside and so is not interested in inside hugs right now.

[aquilawolf.livejournal.com]

I have a little one that needs to be held as well. I can hold her by wrapping my arms tight around myself when I sleep. I can also rub her side or legs or rock her. I also use heavy blankets, weather permitting (keep it cool inside to sleep whenever possible). This actually works quite well when I use my intuition I know just where and how to pat her or how to squeeze her tight. She responds so I can tell if I do something she doesn't like or also when I am holding her just right.
I also hold hands with some of my others, and can tell the difference when I am holding my own hand or theirs.