X-Men: Semi-Humerous post

[ash1977law.livejournal.com]

I'm LJ cutting this because my girlfriend reads this community & dosn't want to know...

X-Men spoliers below...











Hi - I'm Charles Xavier, you know, proffersor X of the X-Men from disappointing sequal X-Men3:TheLastStand
Don't you mean "X-Men3: TheDeathOfTheFranchise?" - anyway, what's up with Jean Grey?
Hi - yeah, how comes I'm back from the dead & in a coma?
Oh that... erm... some sort of psychokinetic dodad thingy... the main thing is that YOU MUSN'T WAKE HER UP! SHE'S GOT MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!!!
WTF?
Yeah... erm... I had to partition off her mind when she was young in order to stop her going nuts. Her other personality is called 'Pheonix' and is very dangerous indeed. You musn't wake her until I've finished messing with her head healing her mind
Grr... no one tells me what to do, I'm waking her up
Hi - I'm Jean's other personality - anyone want sex? No... I guess I'll just kill everyone and blow shit up then!




Seriously!

So, anyone else seen it yet? What did you think?

Comments

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Yeah - sad that all the mult characters are evil or at least
dangerous.

We wish we could switch like Mystique. ;-)

[annabellelaw.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the mystique thing!

[octobersea.livejournal.com]

True, since only one of me is dangerous, and Jean reminded me a lot of her. lol

If we could switch like Mystique... it would seriously solve the wardrobe arguments.

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

None of us are dangerous - and none ever were, if you did not mess with us ;-)

[octobersea.livejournal.com]

Like bees. :)

[annabellelaw.livejournal.com]

I was really suprised at Charles' behavior... and Jean is Multiple? Since when?

[angel-one.livejournal.com]

Does anyone remember what was up with the original Phoenix plot? I always thought she became possessed by the Phoenix, not that it was part of her all the time.

[colligocarus.livejournal.com]

Jean Grey dies in tragic shuttle crash thingie. Phoenix force saves her, places her body in suspended animation *somewhere* and becomes her for the entirety of the Dark Phoenix Saga. At first, Phoenix is pretty much like a suped up Jean Grey. Then she starts doing whacked out "molecular level telekinesis" and other neat stuff. Then the Dark Phoenix side comes out (I forget why) and she starts blowing shit up, Including making a Star in the Shi'ar Galaxy go nova, thus pissing off the Shi'ar. Somewhere along the line she almost cracks the M'kraan Crystal, which is kind of a "back up" universe in a crystal that if the crystal is cracked will expand and become the universe, thus destroying our universe. Anyway, she dies. Nothing at all like the movie. The whole movie was hurried, poorly written, and generally sucked. Thou shalt not compress ten years of comic book plot into 2 hours of crappy movie. Ever. Dammit.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

--Me

[endis-ni.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I know why she goes dark! A guy called Mastmind gets into her head and convinces her she's her own evil ancestor. She joins the Hellfire club (it's, uh, quite a wardrobe change for Jean "Vanilla Girl" Grey) but Mastermind kills Cyclops on the astral plane and that shocks her into breaking free, which, uh, overloads the Phoenix side or something.

...

Oh my gods, I'm a Marvel geek!

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

This is where you have to say, "This is not really the X-men. This is fan fiction."

[colligocarus.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Totally. Hate hate hate the film. Hate all three XMen films. Look! Over there! The X Men getting plot-raped with no lube!

[endis-ni.livejournal.com]

...and a sandpaper condom.

Has anyone ever read the plotline mutilated by X2? It's called "God Loves Man Kills," and it's magnificent.

[octobersea.livejournal.com]

LOL!

the main thing is that YOU MUSN'T WAKE HER UP! SHE'S GOT MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES!!!

hahahahaha aaah too funny. :D

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

People wake me up all the time.... Maybe that movie will learn them to let us
sleep ;-\

[octobersea.livejournal.com]

Hey maybe if people didn't quite know who they were getting, they'd let us sleep!

[linacrow.livejournal.com]

I saw it, as did my boyfriend(who's also somwhat multiple).....there were just too many jokes.
- Lora

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

the hell? Jean's powers came out early when she was 10 because she was there when her best friend died and felt her friend die. Phoenix is another entity that came to her out in space during the shuttle incident when she saved the other x-men! then they thought she died but she didn't! the Phoenix wasn't a personality of hers. sure she became Dark Phoenix and flipped out and killed lots of people, but it still was a separate entity.

originally didn't like the first one because her hair wasn't RED and she looked like she was 40 and in menopause and was having power surges with her powers that should've been happening in her TEENS! hello people! (among other problems with the movies that won't be gone into here! because they suck!)

the hell did they do in this movie? another reason not to watch it. :/

want some fire? I'll give you some FIRE baby! *growls*

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

oh and um.. that wasn't me writing that.. ^^; there are some x-men fantatics in our group.. yeah.. who shall remain nameless.. lol ^^;;

Ages and timelines

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

They pretty much completely screwed with it to the point of being not recognizable. How old is Iceman again?

--Me

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

There has been so much controversy, rewriting, and general tweaking of the Dark Phoenix storyline (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Phoenix) and what to do with it over the last 25 years that we are not surprised at anything we see.

Yeh

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh, and it gets worse. I was looking for a keyboard to bash my head against.

--Me

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

I think that doesn't even scratch the surface, however, it's damn funny.

--Me