(no subject)

[xjs-dollx.livejournal.com]

Question:

i've seen a lot of people on here, who seem to be able to change who's out front at their will. Personally, i can't do that, i have no control over who's out. No, let me clarify that. i control when i'm out, and if someone else wants out, like meet_rose, then i can agree or not agree to let her out.

i think my question is, what's up with that and is it different for every *system*? {Not used to these terms, so correct me if i get anything wrong, please. Thanks!!}

=)

Comments

[refined-mirages.livejournal.com]

I think some people can control it based solely on the situation. Their 'system' has learned to adapt to the surroundings and/or has learned to hide certain individuals in their systems from those in the surrounding environment.

For me, who is the shown one depends solely on the situation but even then, I have to be very careful as I hide the fact that I'm a multiple from most people I know even my parents out of fear of being committed to a psych ward.

[xjs-dollx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, i'm afraid to have a lot of people know. Either they'll think i'm making it up, or they won't believe me, but either way it's not good.

i've noticed sometimes that in certain situations, one of us will come out and deal with what's going on. Not often, and the situations are highly specialized, but there 'tis.

Thank you. =)

[refined-mirages.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

We're actually very, very bad at 'changing shift' on command. Someone might come near the front to look at something or to relay a message, but they can't actually take the place of the person who's there. None of us have ever really been able to figure out how it works, although we think there might be a possible biological component, and it is possible for someone to be "drawn out" by something that catches their attention strongly.

I don't necessarily see this as a disadvantage-- we do have good communication. Admittedly it *would* be nice to just be able to reach in and 'pull out' whoever's best suited to doing a certain job, but then again, not everyone in here would probably take kindly to being put on the spot that way.

[xjs-dollx.livejournal.com]

There is one Person who can draw out some of us. He can draw out slave on command. He can also draw out Rose, though it takes more effort.

Often, though, it takes an agreement between who's out and who wants out before it's decided. Hence, we are often mixed in certain company.

Thank you. =)

[cirquels.livejournal.com]

i agree with you fully.

[submissives.livejournal.com]

Hi, some of us can come out on demand and some cant. The ones who post in this journal are better at it than a lot of the others i think one reason being for example shawna & sj & i have been around longer. Also, if Mistress said get out here now lol any one of us would come out within a few seconds. We have known we were multi for about 7 years now though. Back when we first found out we had very little to no control over anyone.
~abby

[catchild.livejournal.com]

Sometimes we can shift "on command" but not always. our Mate can usually use post hpnotic triggers we've set up to get certian folks up front but even that doesn't always work.

i think it probly varies a lot depending on teh system you are talking with.

(and since front is a revolving door on warp factor 2 today we aren't signing)

[cirquels.livejournal.com]

yeah. if im out. then im out. if jules (juju_master) is out. jules is out. and i can say things to him like 'please dont do that' but i dont ever try and stop him from doing certain things. which can cause problems sometimes cause jules and i can be very very different at times. there are days though when we are both on one hand. where we switch so much durring a day it makes me exsausted. but its never me saying 'ok let me be jules' its just him deciding to speak up whenever he wants to.

im sure it depends on the person. and how they relate to their others.

[cirape.livejournal.com]

We can only change at will between people who are dominate at the time. We tend to share control, and switch at a moments notice between the two or three people currently at the wheel. Who's 'up'll shift based on various things.
Beyond that, we can ask but there's no gaurentee someone will hear or feel like answering.

[ridetothesea.livejournal.com]

Ditto to this for us. :)

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Crist-Erui can come up whenever he wants, stay up as long as he wants, and go when he wants, apparently without any effort. He sometimes likes to 'flicker in' for just a few seconds, then 'flicker out' again - this can get pretty annoying when he does it a lot, but mostly he's good about stopping when asked.

When he goes, I'm up automatically, and I can't not be up unless one of my brothers takes my place. I don't *do* incorporeality so well - it's easiest when Crist-Erui's up, because he shares all the sensory input; when Kír's up for a long time, I get 'antsy' because I can't feel or smell or taste anything.

Kír's 'coming up' is an act of will, and he doesn't do it easily. He's strong enough to be able to 'over-ride' me, and once long ago in an emergency he even did it to Crist-Erui, but the cost of that is severe pain and disorientation, and he can't do it for more than a couple minutes. When he wants to take form, I get out of his way and Crist-Erui sort of 'boosts' him - then once he's 'up', he can stay till he gets too tired and uncomfortable.

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

We can't force anyone in the system to front who doesn't want to do so. We can (sometimes) stop someone from fronting , if they do want to but someone else doesn't want to relinquish Front just yet.

[arogettie.livejournal.com]

We can switch on command. Sometimes it takes a few seconds but we can do it. We can also do a force front if something is seriously going wrong and someone stronger has to come out to deal with the situation.

It has always come easily to us, don't know why. Maybe because for us, there isn't a 'main' front and we're more willing to share when something shiny has caught the attention of someone else.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We cannot control who comes up front. Well, we can, with a lot of effort, but when we do, we get The Headache. (Switching headaches are caused by changes in cerebral blood flow.) Instead, we have standard protocols in place and anyone who comes up front has to follow them. Getting earth world things done, more or less "consistent" behavior, etc. Some of us find these protocols easier to follow than others; Gabe has a lot of trouble using the public voice and will drop into his natural lower register and distinctive speech pattern if he doesn't watch himself. Andy's Irish accent has also drawn attention a few times.

What we can do very well is co-front and co-run, and that is very helpful, especially when chen are out and about, since many of them don't talk at all. This way, they can have someone with them who does talk. Jeff just scribbles notes to people -- he hasn't talked in years. A set of PECS cards might be a good idea.

When a certain situation would seem to call for a particular person, but that person can't come front, they can transmit -- relaying by phone from wherever they are. Anyone who knows us well can tell when we are doing this because there'll be a very slight pause before each response.

[lgrau.livejournal.com]

Others control when they're interested in the "front"/world, and I have some medium of control over how much they can interact with the world, just because my heels are dug in so much. But I can try to get their attention by using things which trigger them out, even I can't get anyone to come up on command.

I assume it's different for every collective.

-I.

[rookguard.livejournal.com]

We can control who's at the helm when we're all in fairly good moods. On the other hand, when we have differing opinions about how or by whom somehting is to be handled, things get messy. There are arguments, fights, and control is typically wrested forcefully. Some of us (I'm not going to name names) can be particularly vitriolic about it.

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

We're very similar - when negative emotions are running high, things get messy for us too.

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

For us it depends. We see/designed our headspace like a living room with a big front window. If you want to front, you sit in front of the window. There can also be people sitting back on the couches and occassionally paying attention or shouting something out or whatever. It's usually pretty easy to switch or co-front that way - just have someone else sit down in front of the window and the first person stand up and step back.

All that said though, some of us don't have an easy time switching. BrokenWings often looses touch with the rest of us when she fronts and has a harder time stepping back. Ball doesn't have any co-consciousness with the rest of us at all. Jane is pretty good at blocking others from fronting so she can take control and run with it. Also, if there's something negative going on or someone fronting is upset or something, things can get messy - either by rapid random switching or someone getting stuck up front.

Anyway, that's just us. As you can see from the varied answers here, it is different for every system. :)

(by the way, nice to see you here - one of us commented from her personal journal to a post you made in the bdsm community asking about your others awhile back. She apologizes for not being more direct though - she's very careful about not letting on that she's one of a multiple system and was afraid to outright say that what you were describing sounded like "multiplicity". but anyway, welcome.)

~Bleach

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

We can coordinate amongst ourselves, and thus "control" who is fronting. She and I also have pushed to the front at times. However, we haven't exactly found a foolproof method. Sometimes it causes discomfort, or disorientation. Sometimes it just doesn't work, and we have to wait it out.

--Me

[ohnosir.livejournal.com]

As I've said before, Jack never comes out unless I specifically tell him to. He has no desire to get involved in the "real world", as it were, and whenever he has something to say he usually just prefers to have me say it for him.
Sometimes, however, we have found it a bit difficult to switch places. It's like I threw him the metaphorical football and he fumbled it or something. Wow, I win horrible allegory for the day.

~DL