Multiple/singlet relationships - info/stories wanted for a friend

[eclective.livejournal.com]

'lo, 'lo. Some of you have probably seen us around; we post about once every blue millennium, literally, but I think we've been members for several years now.

Anyhoo, Google search turned up nothing of use so wanted to ask some oddly newbish advice. A singlet friend of ours is in a relationship with a member of a multiple system (an outsourced soulbond, actually), and while they know quite a bit about multiplicity from various sources (e.g. they don't need telling that they're not all just "aspects of the same person", they respect and treat this person thoroughly as an individual, they're not going to start trying to make out with the five-year-old or asking that they integrate) they're worried that there could be pitfalls unique to this type of relationship and were basically wondering if anyone had any "success stories" of such a thing working out, or if there were any sites that gave testimonies or advice beyond the standard "plz to respect their individuality". I seem to recall there was a site out there that was heavily oriented towards relationship advice for people dating system-people, but for the life of us we can't remember what it was called. XD

Thanks in advance!

~blendyus

Comments

*waves*

[meirya.livejournal.com]

I'm a singlet dating a multiple. We've been dating for almost a year now. It's harder in some ways than dating a singlet, but it's also easier in some ways.

The main problem for me is fronting confusion. I and a couple other of the people in the body are semi-polyamorous. So I'm dating three people in the body. A fourth person is like an annoying younger brother; a fifth is queer as a three dollar bill; and a sixth is a child. (The child doesn't come out much.) Sometimes one of the ones I'm not romantically involved with is fronting and I don't realize it and that can cause occasional problems as I treat him as if he's someone else. >_> It doesn't help that they expect me to be able to differentiate fairly easily. I'm working on it, I'm getting better, but it's still difficult sometimes.

Fortunately, I get along fairly well with everyone in the body. (They tend to use me to mediate between the lot of them as well... augh!) And there's an advantage where if I've been spending too much time with someone in the body and we start to get on each other's nerves but can't exactly leave because we drove in on the same vehicle, then someone else can come out instead.

There's a lot of stuff. I don't know quite what is wanted as far as discussion/stories.

Is there any LJ community for singlets involved with multiples (either as partners, friends, family...)? If there isn't, I think I might just make one.

Re: *waves*

[lgrau.livejournal.com]

I was wondering if you'd comment on this post. :p

There's multiplesos, although you're a member of that already? I sorta think a multiple-friend community that isn't restricted to SOs would be a good idea, tho'.

Re: *waves*

[meirya.livejournal.com]

See, that community is so dead that I utterly forgot about its existance... Yeah, I might just make a new comm.

Re: *waves*

[lgrau.livejournal.com]

If you made it, I'd plug it!

(in the normaleveryday journal, tho', not this one - this one is just for communities.)

Re: *waves*

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

There's also multiple_love which also appears pretty dead. And then not exactly on-topic, but still dealing with types of relationships and multiples, there's our Mutts' community multiple_bdsm.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Hi there; nice to see you again!

My guy's a singlet. He's not exactly my 'boyfriend', but he's the closest thing to one I've got or need at this point. We've been friends about five years, been sharing a bed for about two - not that often, because he lives over in Seattle and I'm out on the Olympic Peninsula, but we have a lot of fun when we're together, and no angst or jealousy when we're not, which suits us both fine.

My 'brother' Crist-Erui always comes out to play when he's here - he's very cuddly, strong enough to rough-house, and has the stamina to keep up with Crist-Erui in the forest, which hardly anybody else can do. He's always very sweet to Crist-Erui, who loves him dearly and talks to him more than he's ever really talked to anybody else - certainly way more than he talks to us.

He's very respectful with Kír when they talk, but that's very seldom. Kír doesn't dislike him, and appreciates the way he treats me and Crist-Erui, but he doesn't really approve of him. This isn't entirely 'personal'; Kír doesn't really approve of most men in this culture, or of casual non-marriage-oriented relationships either.

My pretty young friend is a skeptic about most things, and so it doesn't bother me too much that he "reserves judgement" on the question of whether all three of us are 'aspects of the same person'. He treats us as individuals, and that's what counts with me. However, it's a major issue to Kír, and one of the primary reasons Kír won't deal with him. Kír has a relationship of his own with someone else, and the fact that my guy 'reserves judgement' on whether or not the three of us are truly individuals causes a certain amount of tension and weirdness around that. Therefore, mostly Kír just avoids him.

Something my friend has a hard time comprehending is the fact that it's not "my body". Yeah, I'm the only female in this female body, and I'm the one who 'fronts' in our dealings with society, but that doesn't give me ownership-rights. Crist-Erui's always spent as much time 'up' as I do, and sometimes more; just not where anyone can see him - and he's the strongest of us; if he wants to be 'up' at any moment, he can be. Kír is our Chieftain, our Head of Household, the one with authority, though he very rarely uses it on me, and not so much even on Crist-Erui these days. He'd rather advise than command, and he'd rather shut up than give advice that's not being heeded, but he does have the right to command whenever he sees fit.

Partly I think my guy holds on to his 'reserving judgement' thing (in the face of both demonstrable evidence and logic) because his male ego can't really cope with the fact that his lover's body is also home to two guys. Crist-Erui, he can deal with - I suspect this is because he views Crist-Erui as either a child or a low-functioning autistic, and thus isn't threatened by him. Actually, neither category is at all accurate, but if he realized that, he probably would feel threatened, so it's better for Crist-Erui that he doesn't.

Kír's another matter. Kír is Teh Alpha Male, and for all his soft-spoken ways and scrupulous courtesy, it shows. So, being a young and not-excessively-dominant male, my guy naturally is somewhat threatened by this, and the way he defends himself is by 'reserving judgement' about whether Kír really exists at all. Naturally this annoys my stern brother, who responds by ignoring his existence as much as possible.

Hey, whatever works for them, y'know? I learned long ago not to interfere in or expect to comprehend male dominance-hierarchy bullshit stuff. *grins* Sharing a female body hasn't made it any easier for Kír to understand women, either.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I know there's a female dominance hierarchy too, but it doesn't work the same way as the male dominance hierarchy. The two really are 'apples and oranges'.

If I had such a confrontation with another woman as Kír and Frost had, we definitely wouldn't be friends afterward - we'd both be hurt and angry, and quite possibly wouldn't ever want to speak to each other again. It would take a whole lot of explaining and apologizing on both sides to bring about a truce, and even if we eventually managed to establish (or re-establish) a friendship, the fact that we'd had such a confontation would always be lurking in the background.

Kír and Frost have never discussed their confrontation at all, and both of them say no discussion is necessary; that they settled everything they had to settle. I was listening to the whole thing, and I sure didn't hear anything that sounded remotely like 'settling' to me, but apparently they DID settle whatever-it-was they had to work out, because they've been friends and comrades since then. They also both say that such a confrontation was expected and inevitable, and that it was no big deal.

"Max spent god knows how long whining about the fact that he was the only guy in house, when we got one, he decided to play a dominance battle with the guy who showed up."

That's how guys bond. It's not "playing a game"; it's an intrinsic part of their social relationships with each other.

"However, where the female competition stands, I don't care about it. I do understand it, but I deliberately don't play the game. Which means, I tend not to get along with women b/c I don't play, and I'm flagrant about not playing."

You're still playing the game; you're just using an unconventional strategy. I know, because I use exactly the same strategy. If you truly didn't care about the game, you wouldn't need to flagrantly try to present yourself as not-playing, and the fact that your doing so causes you to not get along with women indicates that your strategy isn't working.

*shrugs* I get along with women. I'm not Helen of Troy, but I'm as beautiful as I need to be, so the fact that someone else is also beautiful is fine with me. Anyway, I didn't choose my genes, so how I look doesn't say anything about me. I've never 'battled' for a man in my life - if a guy's with one woman and fickle enough that another woman could lure him away, he's not the kind of guy I'd want. I've never wanted a man I couldn't have, or had to 'try' to get one; the men I want just kind of show up in my life on their own.

So... I win because I neither play the game nor deliberately avoid playing it. When someone sets out to compete with me by means of an unconventional strategy - such as shifting the 'field of play' to an area where they feel they have more of an advantage - all I do is acknowledge that that's what they're doing. It doesn't bother me that they do it, though.

I understand both social dominance hierarchies and games-theory quite well. However, being female, I have no emotional comprehension of what goes on between two men when they use dominance-challenge as a means of bonding, because my own emotions don't work that way.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

We and one of our (singlet) mates have been together for 13-14 years now. The best two pieces of advice we've got are: communicate, and to respect that if something is a problem for anyone in the relationship that is is a problem for everyone in the relationship.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

We wrote this a few years ago: http://www.kitsune.cx/~amorpha/so-faq.html

It probably needs to be updated-- there are parts when we delved into snarkiness and bitterness, probably more than was warranted given the context. Some of the bitterness stemmed directly from either our own experiences, or experiences we'd heard reported over and over and over from multiple friends.

(And yeesh, it's still on kitsune? I thought we had finished moving everything over. Blah, never mind...)

Re the bitterness, I have to say that we haven't had the best luck in our relationships with non-plurals. Either the other party had some kind of personal issue that prevented our going on with them, or... oh, you know, the whole trying to make out with five-year-olds or "but they're all you." We are pretty much through trying to deal with people who insist on viewing us as splits or aspects, or as a useful metaphor for someone trying to understand themselves, or as past lives of 'the real person,' or as anything, really, other than individuals who would be considered just like everyone else if we had our own bodies. It's just caused us too much trouble, too many hurt feelings, too many instances of people feeling invalidated because they didn't know if they were actually being taken seriously or if the SO just thought they were being privy to an elaborate kind of therapeutic roleplaying. (I also suspect that Ruka would probably kind of tend to force the involved party/parties out of the relationship, if the SO didn't see him as a person.)

But I don't take any of that to mean it could never work. I'm sure there are some very decent understanding non-multiples out there.

I wish I could recommend any other "SO guides"-- I feel a bit egocentric recc'ing our own-- but all the other ones I've ever seen are all from a disordered perspective.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

You're probably thinking of the things Volalupi had up on her "Howling Thunder" website. At the time, Volalupi portrayed herself as a singlet, but it turned out she was not.

We have heard of very few if any serious singlet-plural relationships that worked out long-term. The thought processes involved seem to be too different.

In most of the relationships we've heard of that did not work out, either the singlet was tempted to try to therapize or otherwise manipulate the plural, or the plural was a group inclined to headgames and tag-team (good cop-bad cop) bullying.

Still, you do hear of a few success stories here and there. shandra and kasiya might be able to explain more about how it works for them.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

...admittedly, when I hear about single-plural relationships that didn't work out, I have the bad habit of jumping to assume the blame is on the singlet end. But there are instances where most or all of the abuse is coming from the multiple partner's end; and I've seen a few long-suffering spouses of career therapy patients who seemed to have realized that they could get away with doing virtually anything and blame it on their 'illness.' Not to say that some people aren't wrongly accused of using multiplicity as an excuse to avoid responsibility, but... the fact that there really are people who use it that way, who claim they were triggered and someone else came out, who 'forget' things and blame bad communication, is very convenient if you want to accuse someone else of responsibility-evasion.

Anyway, yeah, thanks for reminding me of that.

[temps-vivant.livejournal.com]

...admittedly, when I hear about single-plural relationships that didn't work out, I have the bad habit of jumping to assume the blame is on the singlet end.

Part of the reason for that, I think, is that any multiple system percieved as behaving badly (whether they actually ARE or not) are usually immediately assumed to be Faking, and therefore Really A Singlet.

I think a great deal of the problems, both inside the multiple community and out, would be helped by emphasizing that a system can be anything but respectable, even utterly reprehensible, and still be a system. Morality and manipulation have nothing to do with it.

the fact that there really are people who use it that way, who claim they were triggered and someone else came out, who 'forget' things and blame bad communication, is very convenient if you want to accuse someone else of responsibility-evasion.

You already know what we think of this. And again-- the accusations of responsibility-evasion seem to always be paired with accusations of FAKING. As if it is simply not possible for a genuine multiple system to do such things. Only singlets do any wrong!

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Our personal experiences with being accused of singlet-fakery were... well, most of them were roughly along the lines of the other party having some contact with one of us, deciding "what that person was like" based on those relatively brief contacts, and then proceeding to assume the right to declare that that person was "not acting like themselves" or "out of character" if they stepped beyond the two-dimensional stereotype they'd been declared to be. And therefore the issue of whether they had ever been real at all was suddenly in question, no matter how often they'd been "in character" in the past, and therefore the issue of whether any of us were real was suddenly in question. (Or the "out of character" person was accused of not acting of their own will, of being manipulated or controlled by "someone else.")

Nice to know that other people have the privilege not only to decide whether we're real people, but to define who and what they really are. Anyway.

...yeah, there is definitely a tendency within the community to point the Faking-Singlet Finger if someone seems to be acting very irresponsibly, or if their system seems "too bizarre," or whatnot. Someone can use plurality as an excuse, or decide something is more 'toastery' than it really is, and still not be wrong about there being something going on besides one person sitting around making things up. The thing is that it's hard to really tell unless you observe someone over a long period of time, and sometimes not even then.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We've seen that happen an awful lot -- the "faking" accusation, where it is completely unwarranted. We have talked several times in this community about groups we have known who were very sick, or who played a lot of headgames, or manipulated others through their plurality (e.g., tag-team or good cop-bad cop bullying (one snarky, one pleasant and apologizing for the snarky one; or, "forgetting" things and blaming bad communication) who were yet indisputably plural.

This is what we've personally witnessed.

You know how elenbarathi always talks about social hierarchies. Well, these can happen in-House as well. Such a group might claim not to have a "the leader", or "the person" (http://community.livejournal.com/multiplicity/490950.html), or any sort of hierarchy or leadership -- but actually have one. In such cases, you can expect to find one presenting person who completely controls the others, via strength of will and intimidation, to the point that they often appear to be nothing but sockpuppets.

While people in the group may have very different feelings, ideas, tastes and preferences, they often seem to merely repeat or echo her opinions. This is not just a question of solidarity -- you can tell the difference. There is (or seems to be) no real way of deposing her or putting her on vacation. This is raw dominance, rule by the strongest.

The people we knew who fit this description -- the "main person" had been main front for so many years, and wanted to be unaware of the others. Not to put too fine a point on it, she was afraid of them. So when she did acknowledge them -- although they'd been taking the front all along -- it seemed she still wanted to maintain control.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

groups we have known who were very sick, or who played a lot of headgames, or manipulated others through their plurality (e.g., tag-team or good cop-bad cop bullying (one snarky, one pleasant and apologizing for the snarky one; or, "forgetting" things and blaming bad communication) who were yet indisputably plural.

I've definitely seen cases of that-- where there was undoubtably more than one person, but someone else was using another system member or the supposed weaknesses inherent to multiples to their own advantage. Someone might claim, for instance, that Fifi the Slut keeps picking up random partners in bars, or that Trogdor the Burninator (I couldn't think of anything else, ok??) wants to destroy everything. In such cases, it often seemed to me not so much that Fifi and Trogdor didn't actually exist; they did but were being used as patsies, for the rest of the system to attribute their less desirable behaviours and impulses to. They might have genuinely possessed an over-propensity to sleep around or smash things, but also might have been able to control that of their own accord, if the rest of the system weren't trying to use them to express all their sexual or violent feelings.

It's like the way a person can, for instance, be genuinely depressed but also blame the depression for everything questionable or unpleasant that they do (like this body's mother used to).

In such cases, you can expect to find one presenting person who completely controls the others, via strength of will and intimidation, to the point that they often appear to be nothing but sockpuppets.

Unfortunately, I think we did a little of this in the beginning-- one person (or agglomeration, possibly) who had been fronting for a long time kind of lording it over the others and dictating what they should or shouldn't be. We had a general fear, back then, of being seen as a singlet faker, and so we were insisting that people behave in ways we thought others would recognise as 'real.'

There are... healthy and unhealthy ways of not having any kind of in-system governing body. On the one hand, there are groups that are either too small or too pacifistic by nature to need them; on the other, we've also seen groups who ended up 'working things out' through sadomasochistic dominance games. Sometimes they'd say that it was necessary for certain members to participate in these, in order to 'keep their destructive nature under control.' Which is, okay, fine to a certain extent, and we've also had certain people who had to find their own ways of working out anti-social urges, but when it... moves into the condoning of cruelty as something healthy, and basically calling cultural relativism on anyone who objects or accusing them of being morally rigid, then I have to say it's probably in their best interest to look for a better way of doing things.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

And to keep this about relationships: The manipulation and intimidation one saw in-system was out-system as well -- affecting not only her singlet spouse, but close friends, and anyone she came in contact with. There was no question who ran things, at any level and in any aspect, in-House or out.

[our-menagerie.livejournal.com]

sj was in a relationship with a singlet for 5 years. The first year of which she didnt know she was multiple. The next 4 years were spent with us going to tons of therapy to learn to deal with stuff, not limited to, but including being multiple. Her singlet partner helped us all quite a bit for the first couple of years after finding out about us but it became too much for her. She was pretty controlling anyway but I will be honest and say it wasnt all because of her that it ended. Our system was huge back then and everyone it seemed wanted time out all the time. She just couldnt deal with it anymore I guess. She was also 22 years older than our body and didnt feel like she had time left for it.

I also wanted to say it depends what you consider successful though. It was 5 years, so i wouldnt say it was a total waste. They did love each other and we loved her in a way too and for the most part we dont regret that relationship.
shawna

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

Well, we're a success story. :) We dated another multiple system for nearly 3 years and thought that it would be perfect to date another system, but that didn't quite work out afterall. We never thought we'd ever be able to date a singleton, or at least not be ourselves around one if we ever did again. But our boyfriend came along and he's wound up being perfect for us.

Before we started dating, he knew that we were multiple. Originally I (Jenny) was the only one dating him while the others in my system were still dating the other multiple system. Sooner or later, more of us started expressing an interest in him, and once we decided to just be friends with the other system and to be exclusive with him, more of us have started dating him. He is really good about wanting to know all of us as individuals and knowing our individual likes, dislikes, needs, specialties, quirks, limits, etc. He's pretty good about figuring out who is who among the most frequent front-runners - don't get me wrong, he's still learning, but he's doing a good job I think. :) I think for us it's also very comforting knowing that he's always there whenever any of us need him. He's a total sweetheart who just completely swept us off our feet and for once showed us that we could have a positive relationship.

Not all of us consider him our boyfriend and some never will - the guys, the lesbians, and the kids especially - but they still consider him a friend. The kids are also still pretty shy about fronting around him, but they're starting to get over that. And he understands and is ok with it all, so it's all good.

So that's our success story. If you have any questions or want more details or anything, feel free to ask. :)

~Jenny

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

I'm a multiple dating someone in another system...(I'm a "walk in" or "soul bond" or whichever term I'm supposed to use ^^) The hardest part about it is that the 'host' always feels put out when my boyfriend and I ask for time alone. So make sure that both parties, and all members of the system, are on the same page--sometimes this means rules or curfews or other things you wouldn't find as much in singlet dating...it's like having to clear all of your plans with your SO's family, but it's worth it I guess. Best of luck to your friends.

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

buh. corin never feels put out by me, we consider we all have equal rights to the body. no one curfews ME (except that i have a 1 am AIM curfew but that doesn't count and i never respect it anyway =P)

-A. (asuka, in system with ppl who poste dthis topic so i got the comment notification sorry lols)
btw your icon is CREEPY TEH FUCK. XD

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

I wish she was like that! Our curfew was put in when the 'host' got a boyfriend of her own...she wanted us to leave her alone by 9 p.m. so she could be undisturbed when she went to talk to him. Of course then she didn't leave us alone when we were out together.... But that's a tangent all on its own. What are your thoughts on equal rights? Do walk-ins have as much right to the body as the original soul?

`Keis
Heheh, sorry ^^ I thought the doll was sort of pretty....

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

oh no, dont worry bout it :DDD its just, the doll is pretty then i noticed THE EYES MOVE OMG *lols* its funny. i'm not easily creeped dont worry.

buh. i suppose technically if someone walked into MY body hell no i would not give them equal rights. but then i'd probably also obliterate them with mental digestive fluid before they even got a chance. i suppose i'm lucky i get to even stay around in one way but personally i would be horribly cranky if i didn't get treated equally because it's not my fault i washed up on this crazy shore and i have a right to a life. i think double standards are not on, if she is insisting she gets her alone time then you should have yours too, fair is fair. we generally do not do curfews, whoever is out is out and we don't try to force it usually.

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

*grins* I was going to upload more like it but everyone begged me to leave room for their icons.

That makes sense...I actually had a 'walk in' of my own before I came here and I guess the idea of someone having more rights to the body was never an issue--so I don't understand being possessive of it. But maybe that's why I came to this system; no one feels more entitled than anyone else, which works. How many are in your system?

~Keis

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

yeah. i guess the everyone feeling equally entitled counts for us too.

uh... we haven't had a good headcount in ages and i don't really interact with "the system" at all, just corin and mostly me actually using the body lol, i don't care for this froofy inner world shit. but i think it's about 22-24 at last? most don't front or anywhere near it. a few are from my old existence. i know they all exist and i guess they know about me we just never interact i guess.

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

What was your old existence like? I apologize if I seem nosy, but you're actually the first person I've met who had anyone from their old life and didn't interact with them. ^^

~Keis

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

nah it's fine. i guess i didn't know them by choice, just ended up cooped up living with them lol. two of them are like just shacked up so totally absorbed in each other they wouldn't notice me if i held a metal girder behind their head and whacked it with a hammer until it rang. then there's our ex guardian who... i just never got on with i guess.

i was a pilot. very good at what i did. slightly future to this time, a few years ahead. born in germany, alternated training in america with study. ended up living in japan for a bit. then here.

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

I guess that's not a bad way to be, wrapped up in someone else like that.... It is odd when you don't get along with someone else in the system. Hard to feel like you can really get away from them ^^

I used to travel a bit, too. Which country did you like living in best?

`Keis

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

yeah if there's one thing i can say, which i don't say often i geuss its that i'm happy for them nauseating as they are. they obviously have something special. it's something beyond anything i can really understand, it's hardly normal but the two of them aren't anything like they were before. they were so fucking miserable, like you could feel the tiredness and morbidity radiating off them but now they are just eh. like light or something. i envy it sometimes but mostly just wish them happiness.

germany is my home :) and it's a wonderful country though i guess i didn't have that great a time growing up. it still feels like the place i'd wanna go back to though america was also fun, i lived on an off shore naval base for about five years on and off and the people were loud, drunken, bawdy, utterly filthy and reprehensible and absolutely fantastic lol :D

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

also yeah. soulbond is a fucking wanky word lol. i guess walk in is the closest to how i feel or whatever, fall in is more like it. :D

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

LoL! No kidding, man. "Sneak in" for some of us ;)

-ami

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

lol! yeah my experience was just like, falling. as in you know how sometimes you dream of falling and you get this weird sensation in your stomach but never atcually hit the ground, then you wake up? like that.

sall so fucking weird lol.

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

That's so interesting! I've never heard of anyone falling in...wow, how long ago was that? Has it happened since?

Heh, I think Nam just kind of sneaked in, and then my brother (Keis) sneaked me in a few months ago. And that, sadly, is our most interesting story.

-ami

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

a few months i guess. someone i knew from my existence brought me in. i don't think i literally fell lol, just what she did to me created a falling sensation. i guess what really happened was i passed out or something. or whatever Mystickal Transportation Shit she did. i keep freaky scary company what can i say. :D

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

At least it keeps things interesting ;) I'd rather have scary company than any other kind.

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

hah. you'd get on w/rei then. barely ever speaks, has a wonderful line in staring you out and occasionally pulls crazy shit like, oh, transporting you to ANOTHER WORLD lol. or initiating the evolution of all humanity into a single cohesive hivemind blob (though she swears that's nothing to do with her).

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

That's absolutely delightful! ;) I've always thought that humanity isn't very different from one person to the next, if you put them in the situations.... But I think that it's more fun to put someone in a tight little part of their own mind and let them make up their own surroundings, than to take them to a completely different environment.

-ami

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

well okay the transporting ppl on a regular basis doesn't happen, i say that cause she did it to us ONCE lol :D or at least i don't think she does?? basically she was trying to get us out of our world cause... i dunno, apparently from what i heard afterwards things were gonna go a bit to shite but eh. she was gonna take her bf and i was all like omg split/second whining take me toooooo so she did. end of :)

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

It's still impressive that she was able to do it even once, I think. But maybe that's because of all the trouble we went to getting me here ;) Well I'm glad she did take you with her, in that case. Are you able to get back there at all?

-ami

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

there was trouble? how come? rei seemed to think it was a snap, it didn't seem to be any trouble for her but as afore mentioned she is a freak =P

i think i could. i've been back once actually. i debate whether to return there. i ache to be reunited with some of the people there, the people i ACTUALLY cared about who didn't come back with me. coulnd't, they had reasons to stay. but i guess i kind of know my future if i go back and i would like to control the manner of my own death i guess. plus i sometimes wonder whether any of it was real.

[confrontation.livejournal.com]

actually your username made me think of her. it's the kind of one she'd have.

our SO loves us all

[angel13666.livejournal.com]

hello i am angel one of 24 who live in our system. is 10 adults and 14 kids two of which are teenagers..
We have a wonderful SO who is not mulitple. I meet him first and got to know him and told him of us and then they got to know him. over time he moved in and over even more time each grown up learned to trust him and become his. the littles see him as their daddy. I am out most of the time but we share the body and have had times where we took different nights to be with him.
At christmas he buys us all gifts and we each come out and undo them. He is great and it has been almost 2 years now. We each have a journal and we each love him and trust him. each feel a different kind of love for him but we all belong to him. He has no sexual contact with the littles at all. he trests them as our children.
He is great about knowing each of us and knowing we are all our own person who have our own mind and even our own body inside. we just share this one out here. the body we use is in a wheelchair.
So yes love can happen for a multiple i think it just takes a special one to make it happen.

[vinik.livejournal.com]

Late reply, but haven't had the time. We've been with a singlet for almost 7 years. He is great, and gets along usually with most of us. We've had ups and downs but we consider that just part of the relationship. He treats us all equally and with respect.