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multiplicity_archivesHi all I'm Casey, a 43 female to male crossgendered person for lack of a better term. I was born with both sets of genitalia and was surgicaly altered to be a female when I was a child. I do not feel female but have elected to not have any surgries to alter my body further.
Dang that's a lot to say just to qualify a gender.
This group deals with one of the biggest parts of my life, and I'd like to start by thanking the creater of this community for it's existance.
I found out I was diagnosed with DID when I was just under 30 years old. I had made the mistake of going to Overeaters Anonymous and cutting off the food fixes, without replacing them with a new addiction and started noticing that I had been losing time. Something that was common to me that I had over come the uncomfortableness with food. The more I ate the less I cared. When I asked my shrink what the hell was happening to me she gave it to me in no uncertain terms. She never did beat around the bush. It was still called MPD then, and I had seen all the movies (actually bits and pieces of them due to losing awareness while watching) dealing with MPD. I was more than a little put off, but slowly came to accept the idea that the amount of abuse that I could remember was only the tip of a very large iceburg. My counselor used my logic to convince me. Pointing out how I had for two years "reported" the abuse to her with no feelings attached to it at all, even snickering about parts. She played the tapes she had of my "reports". I remember how mechanical I sounded, though I still couldn't tell you what I was saying. Any way fast forward through 12 years of therapy and medication to hold back the suicidal depresion and 3 very close calls with suicide attempts any way, and here I am joining an online DID group.
Dang that's a lot to say just to qualify a gender.
This group deals with one of the biggest parts of my life, and I'd like to start by thanking the creater of this community for it's existance.
I found out I was diagnosed with DID when I was just under 30 years old. I had made the mistake of going to Overeaters Anonymous and cutting off the food fixes, without replacing them with a new addiction and started noticing that I had been losing time. Something that was common to me that I had over come the uncomfortableness with food. The more I ate the less I cared. When I asked my shrink what the hell was happening to me she gave it to me in no uncertain terms. She never did beat around the bush. It was still called MPD then, and I had seen all the movies (actually bits and pieces of them due to losing awareness while watching) dealing with MPD. I was more than a little put off, but slowly came to accept the idea that the amount of abuse that I could remember was only the tip of a very large iceburg. My counselor used my logic to convince me. Pointing out how I had for two years "reported" the abuse to her with no feelings attached to it at all, even snickering about parts. She played the tapes she had of my "reports". I remember how mechanical I sounded, though I still couldn't tell you what I was saying. Any way fast forward through 12 years of therapy and medication to hold back the suicidal depresion and 3 very close calls with suicide attempts any way, and here I am joining an online DID group.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 09:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-01 09:35 am (UTC)Re:You should probably take everything you saw about multiplicity on television
Date: 2003-07-02 04:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-07-02 09:35 pm (UTC)Considering alone the gender reassignment surgery they put you through, I can see how that by itself could be responsible for a lot of depression and suicidal feelings. 'Assigning' the gender of an intersexed person with surgery is a horrible, invasive and traumatizing thing to do to a child. You might want to check out some of the intersex groups on the Internet and elsewhere-- a lot of them are working to try to put a stop to the kind of thing that happened to you guys.
*steps off soapbox* Anyway, hello there. We're amorpha, a (mostly, I think) gateway/walk-in system. While we're physically female, many of us don't identify as such (the speaker being an exception), and are also considering having some changes made to the body, but no surgery for us either-- not below the waist, at least; we can definitely understand why you wouldn't want it.
Anthea, for amorpha