Gender differences

[ash1977law.livejournal.com]

How do you and your others deal with the host body & main fronter being one gender & you being another?
As someone in a body which matches your gender, how do you deal with others who are not of the same gander as the host body?
what problems have you come across? What benefits have you come across?
Do you have any stories to relate with regards to sharing with others not of the same gender?

Comments

well...

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Most of us are female - one or 2 are androgenous and one is male.
We just have to be carefull that Toni does not go into the wrong
bathroom.... Body is female.

-- Darienne

Re: well...

[ash1977law.livejournal.com]

Yeah... I get that sometimes.

Re: well...

[maryanni.livejournal.com]

I have problems with remembering not to go into the men's bathroom, too. The body is very petite and feminine. People would notice in an instant.

It certainly does feel awkward to have to use the women's bathroom, though.

Re: well...

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

It's ironic - because we had a sexchange in 2001 to *have* a female
body. We did not realize that Toni was still around, but we are
treasuring him and giving him time to be out and about as long as
he stays under control.

-- Darienne

[luwana.livejournal.com]

We are blessedly single sex and likely to stay that way. Any male would likely be forced into a corner and snarled at for however long it took for us to adjust to the concept of him being here. Because we're just so issue free that way XD

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

This body matches my gender, and I feel comfortable in it - I've lived here all my life, and though I have snippets of (presumed) memories of times-before, I don't truly remember any other body, so this is 'home' to me. I wasn't ever a very 'girly girl' in temperament, and didn't think it was fair that guys got more freedom, more respect, more upper-body strength and more practical clothing, but I can't ever recall wanting to be a boy, or being seriously dissatisfied with my physical appearance. Love and sex have worked out well for me, motherhood's been the deepest joy of my life, and I'm really enjoying being 'a woman of a certain age'. At 48, of course I'm no contender for America's Next Top Model, but I think I look pretty good and the men seem to agree; I feel good most of the time; menopause so far isn't nearly the bother it seems to be for some people... in short, can't complain.

Crist-Erui's lived here all his life too. We don't even know what he remembers of this life, let alone any previous ones; we consider him to be male, but don't know whether he regards himself as male (or as gendered at all), nor how he feels about any question of gender. He seems totally at ease with this body, though; stronger, hardier, more comfortable and graceful in it than me. Puberty intrigued him at first, then in a short time he apparently got used to the changes and didn't pay any more attention to them. He likes sex sometimes, but he doesn't seem to seek it out, and I'm not sure he has a concept of 'sex' as a discrete activity.

Pregnancy freaked him out - I have to admit, it wasn't any picnic for me either, but he was so distressed that he stopped taking form at all till after the baby was born. He was delighted with her after she was born, and took good care of her, but... I dunno, it seemed not that different from how he's always been with his animals; hard to say whether he regarded her as 'his child' or as just another kitten (or whether he even makes any such distinction.) I don't see any sign that he regards himself as her parent, but it's hard to say.

Too long; continued next post

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Continued...

Kír has not lived here all his life, poignantly remembers and misses his own former body, doesn't regard this body as 'his' in any but the most provisional sense, isn't very comfortable in it, and is especially not comfortable with its female attributes. Suffice to say, he hasn't had any easy time of it here. Prior to 1998 he didn't take corporeal form, so he didn't have to deal with any of the bio-functions, and he still doesn't really deal with them - not even eating most of the time, let alone anything more, um, 'biological'.

IMHO, his trouble is as much cultural as it is gender-related - his ideas and expectations about men and women are pretty drastically different from the 'norms' of modern America, and even though he's had 34 years to get used to this culture, he's still very much a product of his own. Therefore the men of 'this place' are just as alien to him as the women; in some ways more so. He totally didn't expect to ever fall in love with one, and the ethical/emotional wringer he puts himself through about the fact that he has gets pretty fierce sometimes. He maintains that sex with anybody is out of the question for him, and that even if this body were male, he would choose celibacy - I don't dispute this, but I do think it's sad that it has to be that way for him..

I try not to embarrass him. He tries not to show it when he is embarrassed. Unfortunately, neither of us succeed all the time. He's had a basic hands-off policy concerning my sexuality, sexual activity, relationships, marriages, parenthood and all other 'women's business' since college days, when the three of us first got our ducks more-or-less in a row about how we were going to live together. His arrangements with Crist-Erui are another matter, and I've kind of got a 'hands-off' policy about those, mostly because I don't really understand them. Crist-Erui's only minimally involved with other people anyhow, so gender as it relates to sexuality may not be much of an issue there.

I have to admit, I'm kind of a yenta as far as Kír's intense but platonic 'relationship' goes, and that's probably not always as helpful as I mean it to be. LOL, he says "It is sometimes helpful." His attitude toward my own fairly cheerful and uncomplicated friend-with-benefits 'relationship' could best be described as "tolerant". It's not all that easy to have two people in one body being involved with two different people - one of whom is a singleton whose views on multiplicity are 'undecided'; the other of whom has two other people sharing his body. Fortunately, we all get along, and no one's inclined to get jealous, so it seems to be working out better than one might expect.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

I love hearing about you guys.. ^_^ we appreciate you taking the time to share pieces of yourselves..

[dariustherian.livejournal.com]

we're a fairly large househhold/system.. whatever.. and most of us are male.. the body is female. It's umm.. caused some issues.. not the least of which is that one of the girls got married.. *pout*growls* Right now I'm sorta the primary.. or one of them.. We try to compromise.. as far as clothes and such.. we usually wear jeans/baggy t-shirts/sweatshirts.. tight sports bras to hide the shell's gender.. or at least make it more comfortable for people.The girls who like feminine things have their times.. we've gotten dressed up as a girl.. formal dresses make up the whole thing.. friends about fainted to see how different we looked. there's certain things you can't get away from.. as much as we'd love to be able to use the guys bathroom.. a few people vetoed that one rather quickly ... Thought about changing the shell since we're mostly guys.. that one really got shouted down quickly. So mostly we just try to be comfortable.

[sirah-ze-luvver.livejournal.com]

Most of us are female, and the males tend not to front anyway.

[six-shadows.livejournal.com]

Sort of the same here. I mostly "ride shotgun" (don't much care for the term but it's apt) and the only other male only takes front when there's a lot of intense stress and it isn't relevant anyway.

Thankfully A. dresses kind of butch most of the time. Frilly crap would irritate me, and there's enough external irritants as it is.


Johnny

[exiled-redeemer.livejournal.com]

In our system we have 3 males 6 females. The body obviously being female. Two males we do have hardly front and rarely even let on that there around, however there is One, who you can say is the dark god of our system, who tends to front quite a bit when there are certain people online. Now at first it was weird, for the fact this male would lust over the female online, and have intimate feelings and conversations, now where I almost never let one of them completely front, it's odd to be sitting in the sidelines and watching these conversations go on with a female, also the bodies...er...reactions while he's fronted.

However there seems to always be a catch. This dark god of mine, he is the strongest member in our system so far, save for one of the females. The great thing is, he can't stay out that long. *evil laugh* for the fact it takes a tremendous amount of energy out of our body, and if the body fails, he's automatically pushed back.

As for clothes, our style is admired by both of our main males, which is rather a dark seventeenth century appearance, it gives both class and comfort. However there are times where we'll give into our girly desires and doll up. Enevitably, the choice is up to me, since I'm the main personality. But I try to please to keep the peace within the system.
Anywho, peace out.
-Kira


-Sistema di Raziel

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

female body/mostly female peoples in our group..

but that's not to say that there aren't a couple males that front too.. like Adam, Pippin, Romei, Daniel, Ian, Billy, Thomas, Dylan, etc..

to be honest, when they do, there aren't really alot of complaints.. okay, maybe over the hair or clothing..

Daniel has said that he finds it "mischievous".. Romei isn't one to really complain on things like that.. Adam is usually walking around "out here", separate to the body and doesn't seem to care.. Pippin likes the fact that he can manipulate things like his journal here and hasn't said one way or the other..

the ones who seem a bit more squeamish about it are the teen boys.. like Billy and Dylan.. Billy gets a little "weirded out" about having "boobies".. lol..

I don't know.. I guess alot of them used to it.. or it's "normal" for them.. or whatever.. at least from what I've seen.. maybe we're just odd..

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

we've got people from all genders...male, female, and in-between...

the body's female, and while there's bickering over what we should dress like, or how we should do our hair, they're pretty content for the most part...

Wolf and cubbie have both expressed their apathy for the situation, they don't particularly care either way, and cubbie particularly is a gods-send, because he doesn't mind taking care of things neccesary to a female-bodied existance...

I (rick) am genderqueer, and my opinion changes daily, but for the most part, i'm pretty content right now to ride the wave, and go with the flow...

Rick
Pack Collective

[ridetothesea.livejournal.com]

Our body is female, but that doesn't seem to cause any problems for the males here. As long as there is no makeup present and the clothes are comfortable enough, nobody seems to care. There's more of an issue with Rose, because she thinks the body is too tall to ever be as frilly as she would like, and she doesn't get to wear the high heeled shoes she would like. I'm actually the person that has the most problems with the body's appearance, because I don't really consider myself to be gendered at all, and trying to feel gender neutral in a female body can be an odd experience, but for the most part I've gotten used to it.

_Ran

[faeriesxexist.livejournal.com]

The body is female, and most of the occupants are also female. For me ("I" being Mel for the moment, a cyborg), it is less of a problem as I do not particularly care about physical form.

The Dragon is obviously not even human, and this presents a problem. Moreso that we are not sure what gender It is, or whether It is genderless, or perhaps It is gender-fluid. Either way, It doesn't like not having a tail.

As for our Males, there are four. Yuki, Carlos, Aleki, and the Bard.

Yuki is...very amused by the body when he fronts. He is constantly grabbing the breasts of the body, and quite fascinated by them. He rarely fronts, especially out in public, more because he is...hyper. Extremely hyper.

Carlos is a fighter-pilot, and while the body amuses him, he does not care to make use of it. He will occasionally co-front if his expertise is needed, and he will take over if the body is in any physical danger. Other than that, it is a non-issue.

Aleki. Where to begin with him...Aleki is a male faery, though he is transgendered. He is more than comfortable in the body, and is thrilled that we have taken a reception job. He is the one with the reception skills, and so we let him front for most of the day.

And the Bard cares not about physical forms, as long as he is able to sing. We all enjoy his singing, especially with the female voice, so there are no problems there.

It is simply an individual thing, I suppose. Those who are not comfortable with an opposingly-sexed body tend to stay out of the front, at least in our system.

[firewheelvortex.livejournal.com]

We seem to be about a third female, but with a lot of the critical system roles held by either females or female-leaning hermaphrodites.

The body is male, which people variously ignore or have giggle-fits about. It seems that one of the "tourist" stops has to be the washroom, so they can stand up to pee.

As the main front/shell, it's my job to create a "presence" so that everyone's butt is covered; there's no real conflict about that, although I get lots of advice on how to dress from helpful persons like Maude.

Oh, and she refers to the body as "the strap-on."

Anyway, it's all part of getting comfy with who you are, which has little to do with the body for those who's work doesn't demand it on a daily basis. That pretty much covers everyone, even me; I take breaks too. :P Otherwhere is very nice this time of year. :P

[terp-lj.livejournal.com]

we have no males present, and I'm one of two gender-undefined. Everyone else is most definitely female. Convenient, right? WRONG! The body was born physically male. After many false starts at getting that corrected by cutting necessities out of our budget - and wiping out our entire savings for the ensuing health problems - we finally established a budget that should allow corrective surgery in about 12 years (assuming no emergencies or unforeseen expenses. That said, I don't expect us to live even half that long if it doesn't get resolved sooner - we may just terminate and discard this body and try our luck with what comes next.

[lgrau.livejournal.com]

Most, if not all of us are gender-ambiguous, in varying degrees. Body is female - we have a couple of males who drop in now and then, but most of the residents are agendered, gender-fluid, androgynous, or female (whether bio- or trans-, in the case of one of our women). As for physical!body changes, we plan to make this body less female-looking in the future, and more gender-non-specific, seeming as most of our residents would be more drawn to tick the "other" box instead of the "male" or "female" boxes. We don't have many problems in the day-to-day world, mostly because we're fairly open about being genderfuckers, so the questions usually get put down to "she's [sic] weird".

[searingpaine.livejournal.com]

i understand what you mean to an extent. i dont have a multiple ina psychological sense, but i do have seperate aspects of myself, all of which have different ideals and morals. my attempt towards a peacefull existance was the thought that i could compress them all into one being, therefore pleasing them all. unfortunatly that is not the case, and the more ultra femme side that i never have a chance to make happy has been pushing itself out lately... its exhausting