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[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

hey i'm new... not sure what to write.

duh and intro ~Danu


yeah, ok... I'm Danny. 17

that one there is Danu 16

the others are sleeping, Ameni, Solum, and Onwa. *kisses Onwa's forehead* he's the youngest


i have others but for some reason they don't talk to me so i don't know their names. =P


i only have a few friends that know that i have multiples, my family does not want to believe that i have this thought. lol, before i forget, i'm also bipolar, just me... they have stuff too but i'm bipolar

ummm... Ameni is obsessive compulive and suffers from paranoia at times

Solum has anorexia and depression

Danu has schitzophrenia... i think i speeled it right

and Onwa is a sweet seven year boy. ^ ^ i love him so much.


joined this site cause i was going through a depressive swing and wanted to find help and found this. pretty good huh?
I suppose so ~Danu

ummm, my others have journals too except for Solum, he doesn't want one so we sorta share the same one, this one.

i'm to sleepy to think really. well just introducing my selfs tis all.

Comments

[wingedwolf-2004.livejournal.com]

Hi there and welcome to this community! I'm a 17-year old male in a female body, my name is Toby and I have black hair and green eyes. Nice to meet you :) I'm sure you'll find lots of infomation here on whatever you are looking for and a warm welcome from everyone here :)

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

you guys are awesome, reading these emails made Onwa all happy through out the day... i think he pretended to be an airplane at one point.

^ ^ you seem rather nice Toby, nice to meet you.

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

lol, for me that's how it is... it feels weird to be sad and happy at the same time... that's why i'm glad i have Onwa with me, he always gives me a super big grin with his weird little childish nature.


i read once that a guy with split personality that has AIDS (i think) is only affected by the drug when he is the dominant one. when he is his other the drug does not work.

[appadil.livejournal.com]

...I'd like to see the source on that, if you can remember where it's from. Sounds ever so slightly dubious to me, since I think most of the handful of cases I've heard of where different people in a system reacted differently to the same medication involved something that worked with neurochemistry, not with antivirals- a lot of AIDS drugs don't even really target the body of the person they're given to, just the pathogen.

So you've got me curious.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Likewise. That sounds a bit like one of those over-the-top "if the mind believes it, it can do it," stories, unless you're talking about something like a painkiller, and not an antiviral drug.

[ayla-kun.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the community...My names niki and the 3 others I share my body with are shelly, tonya, and nick. *bows* ever need to talk just write to me. *smiles and huggles*

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

^ ^ you guys are awesome *hugs each of you* that would be four hugs then ^ ^

Onwa is telling me to write that if any of you are in the ages of 7-12 he would love to talk to you guys. ^ ^ he's silly i know but he's awesome.

[garden-keep.livejournal.com]

Me, Leesha and Hope girlie are all 8 years old! :D Jany, Evie and Mindy are 21 years old. and Chris is usually 18 years old, but sometimes she is 14 or 21. we are all girls. if Onwa dosnt mind having a girl for a friend I would like to be his friend!

<3,
Meghan

[onwa--keramoto.livejournal.com]

yay, that would be cool

[ayla-kun.livejournal.com]

*giggles* well tonya is 12 and nick is 17 but shelly is 10. shelly is the one that you will have much more of the cute sayings from. She loves to hug people. Nick is just a a typical boy and loves to watch girls even though he get be a bit of a jerk sometimes. Tonya is normally depressed...*whispers* alot of bad stuff in the past has happened to her.

[maryanni.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to welcome you to the community.

We're WhisperSung. Not sure how many are within. Haven't counted recently. Hope you enjoy your stay here and find it helpful and interesting. :)

-Marie

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

lol, rather interesting indeed.


^ ^ i haven't counted how many are within me... but the ones that talk to me the most are the four mentioned above.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

have a bio-father and bio-brother who both have schizophrenia..

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

is it weird to live with them... when Danu is in control i sometimes hear them... He's used to it and tells me about it like if it's nothing but sometimes it freacks me out... well at least a little.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

honestly, as long as they stayed on their meds, or if you knew either of them super well, you couldn't tell there was much else going on in relation to the schizophrenia.. at least with those in my bio family who had it.. *shrug* off the meds, though, that's a different story..

[liberated-soul.livejournal.com]

that's quite fascinating. Danu once told me that he heard a voice that told him that no one was to be trusted, not even me, but he told me that he ignored them because he knows that he can trust me. that's awesome of him to say.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

That was the real story behind what happened to John Nash, the guy in "A Beautiful Mind." He stopped taking medication, and he still heard voices, but he learned to distinguish between what was a hallucination and what was real.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

I can remember times when the bio father (or whatever you want to call the body father *shrug*) would stop taking his meds.. the religious stereotype or whatever in relation to it, was very true with him.. he'd get pretty scary in a religious way.. and anything he saw on the tv he'd think was a message from Revelations telling him about the end of the world.. there were times when one of us would have to keep a quick hand on the tv switch to make sure there wasn't anything he would see that might set him off..

our (bio) brother started showing signs of it when he was 17.. it was gradual over a few months.. but when it got to a peak, before he was hospitalized, he was blowing air from his mouth at something, like he was blowing something away from him.. he thought the shadows on buildings were messages or were alive.. he only recognized us, as his sister.. and didn't know anyone else.. :( it was pretty horrible... he finally got put on some meds that cleared up his thoughts, but he was never the way he was before.. it's a pretty devastating illness.. and terrible to watch happen to someone you care about.........

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

My Mother was a parinoid schizophrenic, the main problem was when she drank, she was also a alcholic. Her voices always got worse when she drank but she insisted the medecine made her worse. It was kind of a catch 22 she could not take meds and drink and she had to drink cause she was addicted. She was diabetic so the sugar in the drinking made that life threatening all the time.

I guess it was a negetive experience for me because somehowI became the target of her voices, she believed I was a evil inherent and planning her death with my Dad so this made her abusive towards me.

I tried really hard to understand her voices and what they meant, the wors tpart was I started believing all her fears that she got from the voices. I think cause kids want to belive what there Parents say so If she said "Your Dad is plotting with the FBI to kill us" I believed her. She was also a severe Diabetic and my Dad expalined that when she was young hormone thereapy was given to her for Diabetes and thats when the schizophrenia happened so I always felt bad for her. If she would just not have drank she would have been ok for the most part.

Did you ever wonder when you first heard your people's voices if you were schizophrenic instead of multiple because of your bio Dad and brother? I ask because I always wondered the first time I haerd a comentary and then it was explained its a differnt kind of voice like not from the outside? My Mom had that religious thing going on too and it was a pursecutory thing and always with the evil is happening she channelled allot of her voices into a faith in Wicca and horoscope reading and felt productive when really those were the scariest years to me. I have great respect for John Nash to be able to distingish what was real and not. Theres a book about a women that became a Shrink and she went to Medical School an batteled with schizophrenia the whole time but like John Nash over came it called "Welcome Silence" great book I forgot the author but written by a female Dr. peace Jade

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

yes! I wasn't around as a fronter during all of that.. we've written alot of our own autobiography.. it's in first person, but written by various of us.. here's an excerpt:

When I think back on those days, sometimes I think my father's schizophrenia was responsible for some of his strange behaviour. Other times I think I was lucky to have a brother to be there with me and keep me from being totally alone with my father all the time.

My father has schizophrenia. I guess he's had it at least since I was born. He would run out into the street naked or into a church naked and scream for God to save him. I honestly don't remember alot of it. My mother once told me that she used to hide me and my brother in other rooms while things were going on. I do remember that things would be well for a long while and then my father would think that he was all better and would stop taking his pills. Schizophrenia does NOT go away! You have to take pills for the rest of your life. Nobody would realize that he'd stopped taking his pills until all these symptoms started coming back again. He'd hear God speaking to him in the radio or he'd suddenly get all religious and reading his Bible like his life depended on it. As I got older I had to protect my father from things. If something came on over the news that talked about spy satellites or anything religious, I would have to quickly change the channel before he heard anything in case it triggered something.

I read alot about schizophrenia in the libary growing up. I learned that 50% of the children born to a parent with schizophrenia will get it too. Usually. There was me and my brother. So which one of us would get it? I thought about it all the time. I knew that if I started hearing any voices or if I felt paranoid or religious then that would mean that I'd have it. I was terrified! I did NOT want to be like my father.

In junior high I would hear whispers of someone talking to me and I would do anything I could to block it out. I usually wore headphones on high volume just to drown it out. I was getting sick. I knew I was. I was also alone alot in my room. I didn't have any friends that I hung out with. My parents weren't interested in what me and my brother were doing. I always made sure that he was keeping up with his homework. Eventually my lonliness made me finally respond back to these whispers. These whispers became voices that I had conversations with. Then at night I would cry because I could hear these voices. I was sick just like my father.

I found that I was good at hiding it. Nobody knew that I heard voices. Nobody knew that I talked to them and they talked back to me. I kept track of what was happening to me. I could hear voices but I was not paranoid at things on the news. I could hear voices but I very easily rejected religion and it didn't fear me. If I didn't have schizophrenia, what was wrong with me?

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Regarding whether schizophrenia can go away, it depends on the type. In the 1950s there was a hospital in Maryland (Chestnut Lodge) which successfully treated several patients diagnosed as schizophrenic, using no drugs except to help them sleep. It was the hospital described by Joanne Greenberg in "I never promised you a rose garden."

http://laingsociety.org/colloquia/thercommuns/stillcrazy1.htm is an account of another hospital where minimal medication was used. I'm wary of any attempts to peg psychodynamic factors as a generalised origin for anything, and the concept that biology never plays a role-- the sexual abuse thing just sounds like "all multiples have an abuse background"-- but I can accept it as valid for some people. There's also an interview with another patient at the end.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

all I know is what we've personally experienced in relation to it.. treatment without drugs may be good, but what happens when the treatment stops? there are probably different variations in intensities of the illness.. I don't really know.. all I know is that when our brother started showing severe signs of it, it had gotten so bad to watch and to be around him that there were times that we had wished he had died.. that may be horrible and selfish to say, but death may have been better than seeing him go through what he did.. and it's like the shock of the illness traumatized his brain so that he never was like he was before.. he has his memories back, mostly, and can do other things.. but.. sigh.. and it didn't help that we had a stupid mother who seemed to enjoy telling her kids that they would get sick like their father...

perhaps the unmedicated treatments could work alongside with the current meds or help in weaning someone off it.. but I don't know..

kas, sukey & pepper

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

finished reading the link you posted..

environment could have something to do with it too.. but I still think it's genetic.. the bio father's mother had something like it too.. his mother, himself, and his son.. it could've easily had been us too.. but it wasn't and we're not sure why..

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

Oh My Gosh you should write a book. cause that is oerfect Maria Tiea has written "I Just met a girl named Maria" & " How do you solve a problem like Maria" and the bulk of it is growing up wondering and Parenting our parent and always being afriaid what if this voice means I have become my Mother and silently keeping track of things and contempalting .

This is al so familiar to us, The first two years we went to the t he had to convince us we wer enot Shizophenic cause w einsisted if we haerd voices we must be so we were like jsut give us the darn Meloril medacine and make the voices stop so easy . He actualy wet along with a trial of it all it did was stone us out we still were plural . No matter how many times Medical and Pschiatric doc sexplained it was Multiplicity we always thought just maybe ?Cause at least there was a med for that. You write prose very well and should try your hand at getting publishedyaknow I mean the fact taht you lived with a Bio father wo was and a Bio brother and a sorry unavailable at times Mother who made toyu feeel wrong would be excellent reading material. I keep trying to get someone with Multiplicity to write a book and you have all the graphics to go with it You haveyour autobiogrophy with your Earth family and your bio with Kaysia, names , icon faces , filters. I think it would be very interesting. I mean you descrbe your feelings so well.Also its easily readable you write to the reader. Really you can always send a manusciptout to Life time Movies or someone, GreenHouse Project
,if Ben Affleck and Matt Damen could come up with "Good Will Hunting" just think what you and some of the multiplicity Lj-ers have to write about.

I know I would love to write a book with the Mosics but it would not be about naturally being plural although we think it has something to do with brain chemestry and not jsut trauma, ares would be about the trauma we went through because Tiea was impregnated at 12 due to her Bio Father and Friends and she felt safe with her dad caus eshe was scared of her Mom But Tiea doest have that full memory of the delivery ttyet jsut jade and Toni so I know Tiea would you say created usoft of fear.

What we dont understand is how some people go through The Holocost and did not become multipe at all. Or like why did Tiea become multiple with us when her bio brother stoped at spacing outon the continuum. Our docs always expalin with the Holocost many people went through it together and it was not a secret, tehy had each otehr to lean on still I would think if being raised by a shizophrenic very scary Mother that hated one and the father was to drunk to be proper to be safe. Then I dont understand why some become multiple and some dont.

its strange Tiea used to fear being shizophrenic and wish she as becaus ethere was at least a med acine she could take and now she fights with peple who confuse multiplicity with Scizophrenia ( because of the voices)But your right are voices dont make us parinoid and lose touch with reality like our Parents and your bothers did. I still think you could write a book s we all could and neeed some good books. We are reading "Fractured Mind" Robert Oxnam and were wondering if his real poroblem wsnt blacking out when drunk and his T talked him into multiplicity jsut some things dont matcbh up at all.This si why weneed good books Peace Jade

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

I wish livejournal would fix it so I get my comment notifies.. that's really a pain..


some of us had thought of writing a book maybe on something.. but we never seem to agree on just what the book should be about.. we figured that an autobiography might be the easiest because we don't have to go hunting for interviews or anything outside of ourselves..

yeah, for a long while Sukey (who was one of the fronters at the time) knew there was something wrong with her but couldn't figure out what it was.. she and Suz later on, called it their "make believe" time.. which was embarrassing for her because you don't want anyone to know that you're 13 or 14 and still playing make believe like a 6 year old..

"make believe" in the sense that if someone were to watch one of us in our bedroom back then, they'd see someone acting out a "play" of sorts.. talking with people who weren't there and looking like there were entire conversations going on.. nobody ever saw this! nobody ever knew about any of that..

the closest for anyone to know, and for it to be okay to get away with, was while play Dungeon & Dragons with our brother.. that way we could actually act out "make believe" time with him and it was just seen as a game.. and it was okay.. but not for when we were by ourselves.. Sukey would always listen for anyone coming up the stairs, and would jump if someone opened the door to the bedroom.. if anyone said they heard talking from our room, we usually said we were just reading a book outloud..

that's an interesting thought about the Holocaust.. I'm sure there probably were some who may have been Multiple during that time.. not sure..

yeah, Sukey went through a hard time during our teen years.. the "hearing voices" and fear of being sick like the father was.. and then our brother being sick and getting diagnosed with schizophrenia.. that was the time when Suz pretty much "took over" as a fronter.. the body was 19.. we looked alot younger than our age then, and there was a doctor who saw Sukey crying outside of our brothers hospital room.. he was very comforting until he learned she we were 19.. then he changed his tone and told her that she needed to be strong for her brother.. like being 19 meant that it wasn't okay to cry.. :(

thank you for all the compliments.. it's nice to hear that sometimes.. ^_^

[jadedmosaic.livejournal.com]

I understand what you mean about talking like it would look like to the air if someone else were watching. I am always careful and find a bathroom and lock the door if I need to have a outside conversation with one of the Mosaics. For a long time I was considered the leader and the persecuter just because I was the first person the T and Bio family met and I inisisted they call me Toni. They thought I was a guy cause Tieas fathername is Tony and her son bio is Tony but I just remeber Tiea calling for TOOONIIII and I showed up so I think this is why Jade says we were created by Maria Tiea for her due to trauma. It was very hard being percieved as the persecutr or the dark bad prsonality all the time when I just was the oldest and at the time in charge.

I think for me I got use to taking over for Tiea when she was afraid of the Bio Mother. I often wonder what Tiea would write about us if it would be excepring or as if we were hr tormentors. I hope she does not see all of us that way . WE were a tough group to get to coopertate and now Elaine is the leader of the teens and tries to act like me she even looks a little like me, so e thought we might try the same icon. We always wondr about 911 people and Holocost Survivors and now Hurrcanes why arent they Multil if its from trauma a child cant handle ?Also when we have siblings that grow up in the same enviroment but dont go off the rictar scale with disaccoiation but defianltly space out. Why we went further and became a US.

I can understand Suki I think that Dr was wrong to think a 19 year old cant cry Suki probobly had to be strong for the bio Dad and the Brother too thats sad. Peace Toni