Multiplicity

Well, since my imagination is a bit like another person (Since it sometimes seems that my creativity isn't my own!) I'll give in to my urges and splurge about the other me's

Er, did you read the userinfo for this group? This isn't about making things up or creating characters. This is about real people who happen to be sharing a body in this world. If these really are people in your system, then you should refer to them that way.

When I blank out during a fight, HE takes over. Afterwards, I dunno WHAT I did but everyone's afraid of me (And a few are hurt... bad). He's kinda immune to pain too

If you really black out when he fronts and then come back afterwards and people are hurt and scared of you, that's not an issue to be dismissed. As persons sharing a body, you have a responsibility to abide by group ethics, which means that nobody should go off and commits acts of violence for no reason, especially if they can't share their memories with the others. It's not entertainment or funny if real people are being hurt, it's not a game and it can get you arrested or worse, and insanity defenses rarely hold up in court, especially if multiplicity is involved. Just because he can do it doesn't mean that he has the right to.

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Look. These are really people inside me, ok? My story goes way deeper than this, but quite frankly it's people like you that keep me from saying it. I edited my post because I realized (After re-reading it) I forgot to mention one tiny detail; I DO NOT LET OGRE OUT WILLINGLY. I guess I wasn't clear enough, but it's only when I blank out, during a fight, that Ogre comes out. I am not dismissing the subject. I am simply relaying the information. Yes, people have been hurt, and I regret the few times he came out. I'm sorry if you think I don't! I am new to this in a way. I only started realizing these things about, five years ago, and I'm still discovering things about myself I never thought possible. As for my opening statement; maybe it was a little odd, but that's the point. I'm an oddity, as you so KINDLY pointed out. Sometimes I am not me. Sometimes my thoughts are not my own. Ever wake up and wonder why you're here and not someplace else across the galaxy? Or ponder as to why you are no longer in a collective mind, like I do every night? SO thanks a lot for helping me feel like I belong...

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kasiya-system.livejournal.com

It would probably be a good idea not to cause ripples with the mods..

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I'm not trying to :-( *Sigh* Maybe I made a mistake joining Live Journal...

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I apologize for any hurt feelings my comment may have caused. I think I misinterpreted your remarks, partly for the reasons

ksol1460 mentioned below, and partly because we've known several people who made up characters or named different 'sides' to themselves and thought multiplicity was just like that, or pretended to be multiple for 'fun.'

It had seemed to me that perhaps you were treating them too casually by using the kind of 'stereotypical' names that

fragmented_me talked about, although I understand that some names are placeholders, when people haven't named or identified themselves. I will take you at your word that they are separate people.

I often look around when I wake up and wonder what or why I am doing in this place.

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kasiya-system.livejournal.com

that sun sure is bouncy..

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vinik.livejournal.com

Um, I'm not sure how to explain this but I wouldn't be surprised if some of the responses you are receiving here and to other posts already are due to the fact that something happened in this community quite recently that put quite a few people on edge. As a result, I don't blame them for being extra cautious, but it can definitely be off-putting for those who are new and here with good intentions.

It looks like from your posts so far that you are trying to deal with something you aren't exactly comfortable with using humor (or at least that's my observation). I understand that. There's a lot I'm sure people can contribute here to you about how you may be able to help make your system more cohesive and responsible (speaking a lot towards your issues with Ogre here). Just remember that people here are a lot about empowerment, so when someone comes in who's new they may not know the lingo, so to speak (didn't mean to pun there) and can unintentionally offend others.

Here's an example, just to show you where others might be taken aback slightly: A lot of people, myself included, may take a look initially at the names of your folks here and make assumptions about how you treat the others in your system or whether you're 'for real' because they seem like 'stereotypes'. I know when we were first accepting things, we had a similar manner of naming people (either given at first impression or by our former therapist). Over time, if there were those who asked to change their names or we found better ones, we did so. Only a select few have chosen to keep their original names. I know we are definitely not the only system that has had something like this happen.

Just trying to help.

Welcome.

-Jen

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...Thank you. Like I keep saying, I am not use to being open about this. The fact is, we all get along pretty well unless extrenuating circumstances intervene, and I call them what I call them so I can handle it easier. I didn't know 'something' happened to put people on edge. If I did, I might not have been so... open about myself at first. It's just, I get wordy if given the chance. I'm sorry I joined. :::Tries fading away:::

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vinik.livejournal.com

Give this place a chance. It's challenging at times, but there are systems here that really helped us out when we were first trying to get away from the 'integration-only' approach to Plurality.

-Jen

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linnai.livejournal.com

Hi, you're cool. Don't worry about people being a bit edgy. Everyone here is really awesome, I promise! Specially Sethrenn and the Astraea group!

Just some stuff happened recently and you know how it can be where everyone's not quite all settled down just yet. Promise, stick around and things will be cool for you.

You got a lot of energy! *HUGS*

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hey, thanks.. :)

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rhymer-713.livejournal.com

Hey Ki7sun3, Don't be so up-tight. It is an awesome community and every one makes mistakes sometimes. OMy little came out and posted without asking me. Now I have a journal for the three of them andd no one is mad at me eternally. Don't worry so much,
HUGS

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There's no rule that says young people can't post (or dictate what they want to say to an adult for posting) on this community. And there never will be as long as I run this place.

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changelyng14.livejournal.com

yo yo!

welcome.

ogre reminds me of one of ours.

-Candy

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eosphorus.livejournal.com

read

sethrenn's comment again when you are calm; you may indeed discover that it was not an attack. not everyone uses cute emoticons and such to denote a mood.

if she misinterpreted your post, perhaps you should reconsider your wording and try to explain yourself in a clearer fashion rather than flying off the handle.
no one is here specifically to disprove what you say. becoming aggressively defensive right off the bat is not exactly the most effective method of making a good first impression, is it?

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eosphorus.livejournal.com

oh, what on earth – this comment was supposed to be up there. i am so inept at this.

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Few things are more likely to hit a nerve in this community right now than someone with a hypomanic presentation talking about the people in their house, group, system, clan, whatever, in terms of cartoons, characters and imagination.

About a week or so ago we had a community member who was already given to lengthy, frenetic postings fly right off the wall after her so-called therapist (a man of questionable ethics to say the least) tried to frighten her into integrating by telling her that all self-recognized multiples were actually sick teenagers playing pretend games that had gone out of control. In a blind panic, she rushed into posting without taking time to think about where she was doing it and who would read it, not to mention the fact that she neglected to inform us that her therapist had been the one to give her this garbage. She pissed off an awful lot of people, up to and including ourselves. Many people in the community still do not trust her, or anyone who comes in with that kind of bounce-off-the-walls style and talking about their people in terms of characters. I think you mentioned cartoons and wanting to be a cartoon character in an earlier post and that could have caused some upset too.

Normally it's quite acceptable in here to talk about people in your system who are, or seem to be based on, characters from books, films, anime, etc. I think it was just the timing. I may add something in the userinfo about being careful to read the last two weeks worth or so before posting.

I understand you're uptight about the whole thing -- in high school, I used to talk about my people in terms of characters and call myself crazy.

My impression of you was that you are very young and have little or no frame of reference. Please don't leave. Check out the FAQs that are linked from the community userinfo, and feel free to ask questions.

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eridanusus.livejournal.com

Apparently they have a case against their t now for mistreatment or something. Tian and Elaine still talk.

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I've been receiving regular emails from them. They also have a new therapist with whom they are satisfied and hope to make actual progress.

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calliopeaurora.livejournal.com

I think everyone opens up in different ways. You seem very energetic.

When we first had names we used the birth name with a number after it. Plain and simple. When we communicated better people picked names that suited them better and they felt represented them.

Welcome.

Sora

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emmajeans.livejournal.com

I like how people/groups/systems here talk about the people in their systems telling them their 'real names'.
I don't understand this, though. It isn't like this for me... I mean... It makes me wonder if I'm not a Real Multiple or whatever. I'm only figuring this out right now. Is this something that I *should* know? Or that the parts of my self, my selves *should* know?
I have so many questions!

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A lot of us have questions... I'm slowly 'coming out of my shell' so to speak. I usually get afraid to ask questions to the ones inside me or to others. Usually because the people outside don't understand (Not talking about the people here! You folks are great!) And the ones on the inside are so enigmatic! As for names, well, from our viewpoints, we agree with a lot of others here; names will come to you when you're ready for them. Until then, if they are okay with it, GIVE them a name. Mine are ok with me calling them what I do because, well, I'm still learning to adjust. Hope I helped!

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kasiya-system.livejournal.com

You're doing okay :)

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I don't know if this will be helpful or not to you...

We know of a system that doesn't have names for all the others, but rather they go by numbers. I'm not entirely sure as to exactly how it works for their system, but so far my understanding is that the numbers are associated with the age of the person.

It sounds to me like in your system, they just know they are 'there' and you just know they are 'there,' but that there is a blankness for their names??? Meaning they don't know and you don't know their names, and sort of like when you ask or try to find out, there is this blankness? Are we understanding that correctly?

I've also come to realize there really aren't any shoulds for multiples, other than more than one. ;-) Well, ha, there shouldn't be any shoulds.

Ok, it is late, and I'm beginning to get silly.

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Also what about "Twelve" in the Troops? (Truddi Chase)

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Yes, very true. :-)

In our system, we also have a few (or some?) whose names are numbers as well.

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Hey-- it's a few not some.

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Not necessarily. Every group is different. In our group a lot of times a person comes up front and doesn't know their name. Has a perfectly good name back home and can't remember it. There's no rule that you "should" know. Or that they should.

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This also happens to us fairly often.

For us, it sometimes takes awhile before they can access their names. I recently was able to learn and understand more about our system and why that happens.

Julie

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Hey, would you be willing to write up something about that? It might help other people who are worried about the name thing.

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Hi- we've been going back and forth about this with each other, and so it may take some time for a definitive answer as well as a gathering of thoughts to answer it if we did write something up about it.

One of my concerns is that I think it relates more specifically to our system versus being an actual theory as to why it might happen. Although philosophically I suppose it could be a theory, because the information is still so new to me that I struggle to believe it, even though I know this is my downfall and I need to believe what the others say and tell me, especially when I seek information and then question the validity of it when they do tell me. I guess step one is acknowledging my problems. That entire issue is another topic. :-)

Okay, I started writing and I realized perhaps we do have more to say about this topic than I realized, and perhaps could explain how it works for us. So I have deleted it here and copied and saved it elsewhere to finish writing about it and to create a separate post about it. The bigger thing we are debating is giving out specific names of people and a few other things that are relating to the specifics of it, and it is difficult to explain without mentioning those names, etc. And so I do apologize for sort of saying a 'teaser' thing that invokes curiosity without thinking about it, etc.

So, hmmm, the point of this comment is... I wanted to respond to you and not ignore you, and so I wanted to let you know where we're at with it. I'm not sure if it would be helpful because I believe it is specific to our system, and we are a trauma based system and its mechanics and reasons seem rooted from that perspective, but then I think about how this community operates and learns from one another-- and that is sharing the specifics or generalities about who we are and how our systems or worlds, etc. work. So I guess we're saying this is where we're at with it now, these are some of our thoughts, and I thought I didn't have much to say about it, but then we started writing, and so perhaps we can find a balance between sharing about it without telling too much about it so that it causes too much anxiety for the others. So we'll work on it, as I also believe it would be beneficial to me/us to have it written down for ourselves.

I can be rather long winded. :-)

Thanks,
Julie
(with some Julies hanging around)

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It doesn't matter if it relates to your own system, what have any of us got but our own experiences to provide as examples? (Unless you want to get all fancy like Kai and go around asking a group of different multiples and then report their different experiences.)

The point is that it illustrates that you don't have to know everybody's name right off the bat in order to be a "real" multiple as

emmajeans was concerned about. We've had other correspondents worry abou that. It also doesn't matter if you're long-winded. Go for it! and when you have it the way you want it, email us with it. Thank you!

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When we talk about our real names, we mean the ones we picked out for ourselves-- not the ones that were given to us or the name given to the body at birth. A lot of people come to the front without knowing what their name is, or it takes them awhile to figure it out, or to settle on one.

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ex-senza6.livejournal.com

Us, too. Our real names, for the most part, are ones which we either chose, or which other system-members have given to us and we´ve decided to accept; we didn´t just turn up with them. That doesn´t make them any less "real" to us, though.

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eridanusus.livejournal.com

And then I've gone through a long list of names. Apparently I was originally Daniel. Now I'm Datharin Harain, where Datharin refers to me as the front of my person system, and Harain is my personal name, and my surname is Rivers. And I answer to Dat, Datharin, Dath, Harain, DH, Asshat (from one person only :P), Chris, or whatever.

DH

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emmajeans.livejournal.com

I guess I'm a little concerned that naming myself (ourselves), choosing my (our) own name(s), is associated in my mind at least with rolling up characters for RPGs. (I use a lot of RPG metaphors to explain what is going on for me, but that's because I play a lot of RPGs!) I have a lot of names I answer to in different circumstances, but the names themselves aren't associated with a particular Self. Different parts of me have answered to the same name at different times (as we all do!) and other names have been chosen for specific purposes - roles I've played and discarded. But these aren't true names... *sigh*

Is there a post about this somewhere else on the boards that I should check out? I don't want to be repeating threads that exist elsewhere and boring people.

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