More Questions

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hello All,
First of all I am going to appologize in advance for asking so many questions. It hasn't been that long since I found out I had multiple personalities and it hasn't been too long since they found out about me. Here's my problem though. I just started cold college back in August. It has been incredibly stressful as you can imagine, but when is life not. Anyway before school we communicated a lot and every one worked together with no fighting. Anyway, now that I've gotten my nose out of the homework a bit I am noticing that every one is "Hiding." No one fronts but me. They are still working together, as far as I know, but it's almost like I can't see them or hear them much anymore. this is disturbing to me because I am afraid that I am losing them. I do not want that to happen. Does any of you have any ideas about what is going on and what can be done about it? Again I apologize if I am off base or being arrogant by asking. I'm just a little scared because I am not used to talking about such things. Most of my friends, with the exception of the two who also are multiples know nothing and I feel I can't tell them. One of my friends is having the same problem as I am. Thanks in advance for our help,
Host

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, #1, do not worry that you are losing them. This is contact loss, at least that is what I call it. You lose touch with the others and it's as if they were never there? They are not leaving, it is more like ... like the internet is down, or "all circuits are busy" on the phone trying to call Chicago.

It happens to a lot of groups. It happens to we frontrunners in this system all the time. Sometimes we can't even sense the presences of the other frontrunners (we usually have about 3 to 15 on call), let alone non-frontrunning system members (those who stay back away from taking the body and do not usually do things in the earth world). It does not mean you have "integrated", and it does not mean they are gone forever, even though it may sometimes feel that way.

I mean, If I had a nickel.. oh well.

My theory is that this kind of thing happens when the shared brain's mental energy is outer-directed. The people in your group are still there, it's just that your focus has been elsewhere, on school. (As it should be. School's important. Maybe they're trying to pull back a little so not to distract you.)

If you want to stay in touch you need to take some quiet time to yourself to relax and keep your mind open and say George, or whomever, I'm still here, and I like it when you're around, and I miss you. Something like that. Take time for the things they enjoy, play the music they like, etc.

Please, do not apologize for asking questions about multiplicity, that is what this community is for and I want to be sure that everyone feels welcome to ask and not ashamed or thinking they must be arrogant or the other thing people fear is that they're crazy. Even if you were the only one who had ever experienced this, it would not make it invalid or weird. It would be your experience and the people in this community could learn from you what it's like. That is what I am hoping for. Good luck, I hope you get back in touch with them soon. They are welcome to write on this community too. They do not all need separate LJ accounts to do that, but are welcome to get them if desired.

[sharpsight.livejournal.com]

'It does not mean you have "integrated", and it does not mean they are gone forever, even though it may sometimes feel that way.'

N) A question: some time ago, one known as Markus, over a period of time, ceased communicating. At all remembered (somewhat Catch-22...) times, all have been aware of all others' thoughts and memories--no hints or suggestions are perceptible that he still exists. What is the practical likelihood of him suddenly popping back into the loop reappearing?

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

You never know what might happen. Just about anything is possible. He could turn up tomorrow. Leave the light on.

[darknevaeh.livejournal.com]

i agree with ksol...maybe youre so focused that you havent noticed them that much. Who knows....maybe you're not searching in the right places...maybe they are right there...waiting for you to look. hope you find them! ^^

[jaga-system-.livejournal.com]

This has happened to me before at varying times, somewhat on a varying continuum for how extensive the hiding and lack of communication and contact with them, as well as for how long it will last.

I think there is a correlation of high stress for me/us when this happens and when there is a lot of extra pressure to focus on external happenings. There are other things that will also cause various groups or individuals to be nearly impossible to locate, access, communicate with, etc. for a period of time.

I've found though that it doesn't last forever. This happened again to me earlier this year, and it helped me to write about it, talk about it with other multiples, and ultimately when I got together in person with a few other multiples, some others did show up for a little bit to talk to their friends. I was also able to find out a little bit about what was going on by journaling and trying to let them know that I missed them and wanted to know what was going on with them, etc. They also showed up a little bit to journal.

Oh also, if you are needing help with something specific or would like information on something specific, I think that sometimes sending an internal message with a specific request tends to have better results during times of communication difficulties.

Good luck,
Julie

[jaga-system-.livejournal.com]

I forgot to say that it didn't happen right away. I had to be persistent. :-)I also complained enough about it to my friends and was really hating it and getting very worried about it this last time, that I think they (some system members) had some empathy for me and so somehow or another we were able to reconnect and have some communication again. It also helped to purposefully set aside some time where I had a silent and private external environment so that I could go inside (more or less) and communicate (send messages at least), and listen as hard as I could for anyone communicating back to me.

[changelyng14.livejournal.com]

i agree with ksol.
if youre under alot of stress/pressure, your people may understand its a bad time to be exploring outer life. lucky you to have such considerate people.

if your worried about losing them, lucky them to have such a considerate you. some options to you include setting some time for switching. in our system, we believe we are as well off as each of our members. we try to incorporate everyones needs and aspirations into our lifestyle as much as we can. communication is crucial. find out what they want and need and go from there. it can happen that members are quite content in the back.

another option could be to get some of your people capable of handling the things you do. how would depend on your systems mechanics. ive heard suggested techniques from other functional systems that we just don't seem to do well.

we know a few systems irl, and its very nice to talk about multiple things with someone who relates. coming out to a multiple isn't always as easy as it might sound. a system might think your insincere or mocking them or something, so dont be surprised if they're suspicious at first. dont ask me why, but multiples seem to be very private and wary about the subject :)

good luck whatever you do

Synch of the Changelyng System