(no subject)

[trinity-system.livejournal.com]

I wasn't supposed to have emotions. That was one of my prime functions. To be outside of society so that I may observe and record. Suddenly I found myself in deep conflict. I had suddenly been forced into an inner system culture and was expected to function in a way that I did not understand, nor necessarily want. I found myself traversing worlds and acting, somehow, as a diplomat due to my power and title. Then, I found myself caring. I believe that this is where my true trouble started. I am not used to these emotions. I do not understand how to feel. I find myself lured to the body's financee, and yet the friendship I shared with him cannot be compromised, nor the trust. I do not know what to do, but due to the fact that I am now feeling and aware of those around me, I cannot preform my job with the same proficcency I used to. I am being replaced because of that. Her training is taking place now. I will lose my title. But I do not truly care. I no longer wish to have the restraints. I have had my taste of freedom, and I revel in it. Now, if only I knew what to do wwith it, and how to function.

Comments

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Welcome to humanity! None of the rest of us know what we're doing; we've just had more practice covering it up. :) Enjoy the chaotic exploration.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Welcome. ;)

With participation comes emotional involvement.

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

I'd like to wish what everyone else already has to you - that and, live it up! ;-)

[saturniakitty.livejournal.com]

Just a little pet peeve - "fiancee" is female, and "fiance" is male. Ok I'm done ^^;;

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Our grammarian has learned something new today. :)

[trinity-system.livejournal.com]

Really? I never realized that. Thank you.

[bekkle.livejournal.com]

wow, i hope you get to have a little fun now!


:D

[trinity-system.livejournal.com]

Thank you to everyone who has been supportive in this. I actually ended up telling him how I felt and he proposed that he and I take an evening for dinner and a movie. I am still very nervous around him, but I believe that things are looking up.

[terp-lj.livejournal.com]

i can relate to this quite well. When i first came into existence, i was meant to be able to interact without any personal feelings or opinions of my own, merely operating as an interface between those living in here who are non-communicative and the outside world... somewhere along the way, i started developing an independent sense of self, and ever since, i've been extremely confused by the way this has affected my ability to function in my initially intended role - and for the first time, i find myself questioning whether i *want* to do so... the concept of what i 'want' is a new one to me, and in many ways, it is irrelevant, as i still need to do what is required of me whether i want to or not... and i suppose this is a source of much of my frustration. Anyway, that's about all i can say on this matter for now.