Help.

[sharpsight.livejournal.com]

I don't know who I am anymore.

I feel as though my mind is dissolving. First Markus grew silent; a few times I was able to get him to speak, but it felt more like hotwiring a dead car than listening to him as before. Then, a different voice spoke for a while, and then faded just as quickly. I can't reach Markus any more. Ghul watches, mocking, and I know that he knows that I know that I can't trust him to tell me the truth about what he sees or what he knows. I'm fairly certain that he's unaffected, however.

My thoughts differ. My mind differs, myself differs. I differ?

I remember that I used to have a name. But I don't

I don't know what to say, what to type. I don't know what's happening.

Help. Please.

Comments

[changelyng14.livejournal.com]

:(

I wish i could help, but i dont understand what you're saying well enough to offer anything suggestive. :(

I might be able to say we have days where what you describe is similar to things we experience. sometimes we have trouble getting people 'propped' up and it could certainly be like hotwiring a car. and we certainly experience suspicion and paranoia when someone just 'doesnt feel like themself'.

if you want to chat about it, im at changelyng@gmail.com and im using yahoo-chat username 'changelyng14'

:(
Tia

[echoesnspectres.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so confused. What is happening could be something natural to your system (for instance, a new self coming into being, or some other reorganization); if so, things will sort themselves out eventually, and you may be able to understand it in retrospect. Try to have patience and trust.

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

Try to have patience and trust.

Excellent advice. Don't worry about who you used to be or were planning to be or who you think you SHOULD be. Just relax, breathe, and Be. The universe will unfold as it should.

You're going to be ok

*hug*
Kier

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

This may or may not be of help;

Multiple systems reorganize themselves periodically for a lot of reasons. There are also communication glitches for a lot of reasons. We've seen a lot of people say "I can't hear anyone anymore -- oh my god, did I integrate without knowing?" or, "They all left, I can't feel them. Maybe I'm making this all up." We've had people get isolated at the front (me included) and when you can't feel or hear anyone else around when that is what you've been used to from before the beginning, it's damn scary.

It may take some time, but things will get back together. You will hear from them again.