(no subject)

[exiled-redeemer.livejournal.com]

The first two paragraphs are coppied from our journal.

In my dream, the darkness flooded my eyes, and I screamed for my mother, and I had no voice. There were demons choking me, and twisting my body. And I just kept screaming without my voice, trying to clear my vision and make my body stop hurting. And all the while, it was as if I were in two places at once. As if I were in my kitchen, and yet still aware of my sleeping body. But before I had that dream, I swear I was having an OBE. I couldn't feel my natural body but i was well aware of my physical one. And I seriously think It was Rya who gave me the nightmares, I think she fronted and put her fear into, either that or she just put herself into the nightmares.

Now I know I asked for the nightmare, but I never expected I'd have it, and though I'm sort of glad I had it, I guess it was selfish of me. Since they shared the fear with me, and even though it didn't touch Azi or Lupa, it scared the bloody hell out of Joselyn, made Rya cry in a corner and caused Kris turmoil and terrors. So now, I feel terribly guilty and self anger.

My question is, has anyone ever done something that resulted in unintetnionally causing turmoil to another in your system by accident? And also this questions been attacking me lately. When you first discovered your were a multiple, did anyone ever have trouble in time management, allowing each some time to front, or alteast co-front? I guess my fear is that something bad will happen to the body if I let them have full control, >_< I know that makes me sound like a horrible person, but I fear for this body. Any advice? Sorry for the choppiness. It's like...1:40am and I'm still feeling a bit fuzzy.
Again thanks for giving us a place to ask questions,
-Kira


-Sistema di Raziel