Just wondering...

[sabluro.livejournal.com]

We have been having a few problems lately, not to sure what to do. Let us explain. We have been in contact with a multiple system, who everyone seems to like, but she views her multiplicity as an illness, which she wants to be healed from. Granted, we (myself and my insiders) haven't known one another for that long, but we are really starting to communicate quite well, I feel. Now, this is a problem, because we want to be there for this friend, but we don't know how to be a friend, when she keeps going on about how she wants to be healed, and that we don't feel the same way ourselves. Has anyone got any suggestions?

Comments

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

I don't really know what to suggest, except to say that for some people being Multiple does cause problems from which they do need to be healed, and if that's her situation that's ok for her. (It would be different if she was telling you that YOU need to be healed). She should perhaps consider therapy if she isn't doing that already. Best way to help her (IMO) is to be supportive of whatever she wants to do for herself.

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

I agree with arhuaine, but I would like to add that there can be another way to look at the two situations.

For an example, take arachnophobia. Someone who has no other problems with spiders can easily consider arachnophobia to be a problem, or disease, for which they need to be cured. However, I know someone who is deathly allergic to all spiders and arachnophobic. It is difficult to say whether the allergy caused the phobia, but it is unlikely (this person has never been bitten or they'd be dead). In that case, the arachnophobia does not need a cure, no matter that most people tend to think it does. If my friend lost the arachnophobia, she might lose her life out of carelessness.

So, I see it as possible that some may need to have their multiplicity corrected without advocating it for anyone. Might it help to discuss other possibilities with your friend and share information without seeming to lean one way or the other?

Re:

[sabluro.livejournal.com]

Hmm yeah, thanks for this. I think that we have sort of sorted things out a little now, which is good!! Thanks for your input!! *smiles*