This Is Gonna Sound Crazy...

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

...But I've lost control of my right hand and arm for the moment.
For the last fifteen minutes my right arm and hand have behaved like something out of the movie "idle hands". Have you seen that movie? I swear my right arm is fucking possessed or something. It's like someone is co-fronting with me and they've got VERY strong control over ONLY one part of the body. It feels like someone is trying to front, but basically unable to. I feel really, REALLY stupid posting this, because it sounds so dumb and contrived, but it really isn't.

I've tried communicating with it(/him?) but it's being belligerent. I keep catching snatches of a name, which I think is Grant, but it won't do anything but be difficult.

OKAY. There! I've got my arm+hand back! Sweet. I can type with two hands again.

Anyway, it kept grabbing hold of things and trying to get me to stay put, which might have been really comical to someone outside the situation, but which was fucking scary to me. It felt SO weird, like someone had spliced part of their living, active body onto mine; their arm in place of my arm. I picked up an older male presence, there, who I think is named "Grant". Maybe it's connected, maybe it's someone who's trying to front... I've just never had anything so WEIRD happen before.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? Does anyone have any advice? I tried to talk to/reason with it, but it would just flip me off and go back to being someone else's arm.

So WTF?
~Jem

Comments

[karma-silenced.livejournal.com]

That happened with my eyes before. They'd keep looking up and making it to where I couldn't look at things. This person (ended up being Rika) wasn't trying to be troublesome and didn't even know she was doing it. But your thing sounds different... yeah...

Also... when I *coughtookdrugscough*, it was very common, when dissociated to lose control of my arms. I don't know why... or what's with the arms... I think it was just... really fun to move arms up and down like a crazy person and make them dance. >_> But uh... the point is... I don't know... nevermind...

Maybe you have a new person. :) Tell him to communicate with sign language. Hey, he's already got the "f*** you" down! :D

-Kat

[raijna.livejournal.com]

Ei's a difficult bastard, to say the least... And fond of telling me to fuck off. When I gave em something to write on and asked em if ei could write, ei wrote "Yes, I can write" in cursive. Then I asked em eir name and ei printed "GRANT" in block letter capitals awfully, then ei started writing similarly to me and when I asked em why ei kept changing how ei wrote ei put down "FU2!"

On the subject of drugs...
I've taken LSA several times in the past, and would always end up having long conversations with "people who weren't there." Shortly after figuring out I was in a system, I realized those were other residents talking to me. Many of them also wrote poetry, thoughts, pleas, random stuff, or whatever. Just the other day I discovered a poem that Jeremey (the original primary) wrote about a girlfriend of his when he was 15. *shakes head*

~Jem

P.S. My apologies for the Gender Neutral Pronouns. I hate assigning people one polar gender pronoun if I'm at all unsure of how they identify.

[saturniakitty.livejournal.com]

Home Movies!! <3

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

*snirks*

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Alien hand (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_hand_syndrome) can be caused by a lot of things, and is mostly neurological; it's almost never reported in any of the stuff we've read including our correspondence, so we assume it's real but relatively rare for it to be a multiplicity issue; if it keeps happening, get checked out and make sure it really is someone in your group doing that.

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

Alien hand? Wow. Never heard of that one before.

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

Cool link; thanks! Very interesting.

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

Fascinating...... just not what's happening, here. O_o

[forsaken-smile.livejournal.com]

my other likes to bite my bf. so sometimes when she's paying attention she'll come forward just enough to bite him and then she'll leave. it's kind of annoying because telling him that it wasn't me, when i'm the one that's been there all day, is a little hard to believe...

but i'm not sure if it's the same kind of thing for you.

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

A handful of the residents here will do that, popping in when the frontrunner (usually me ><) isn't expecting it, just making one comment or doing one or two quick things, and then the front is left to deal with it.

gr. :\ Sometimes it's bad, like in the middle of a fight or a tense moment someone with an opinion will step out and voice it, regardless of whether that's appropriate... Or sometimes it will just be one of the younger ones popping out to declare that they really like what someone's talking about, only to disappear and leave the front to explain why they said they love XYorZ silly thing. :)

~Jem

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

We had a few problems like this when we first started working together, but once everyone realized that each of our actions in 3D affects the system as a whole, they all agreed to exercise more common sense & forethought... even Ty, who can be a terrible hothead. His heart's in the right place & he's very bright, but his energy is all over the place -_-;;

Perhaps calling an in house meeting & pointing out that actions can have consequences for the entire system will help to broaden your members perspectives.

~Kier

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

Our January sounds a little like Ty ;) She's irritable and bitchy as hell a lot of days, very opinionated, but very strong and helpful otherwise.

What I've been working on the most the last couple week or so is establishing a fixed spot for meeting and talking. I have a hard time accessing and staying present in the common area where most of the Others meet, so I built us an auditorium where we can talk, which is a space I'm actually able to exist pretty well in. I've been working on getting everyone to try and cooperate to in keeping a typically stable appearance to the outside world. and January's been working on getting me to let others front more in "safe" situations so they don't have to put on a show while they're out.

~Jem

[spazishness.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, I thought that only happened to our system. I hadn't heard it happening it to anyone else so I didn't mention it in this community. We always know exactly who is doing it, and they're always getting a laugh out ofit...

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

Hey, at least I'm not alone in this!
I thought it might've been a practical joke at first, but I guess it's someone new. :\

~Jem

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That could be why we don't get more correspondence mentioning it, people are embarrassed. Although what there is to be embarrassed about I don't know, but maybe they think it sounds like a dumb movie like you said, like "Me, myself and Irene" which ought to be burninated.

[thebkcam.livejournal.com]

Although what there is to be embarrassed about I don't know, but maybe they think it sounds like a dumb movie like you said, like "Me, myself and Irene" which ought to be burninated.

Eh, the most famous movie examples of Alien Hand are Dr. Strangelove's gloved hand that apparently still thinks it's in Nazi Germany (it does the salute at random times and such), and most of the other versions I've seen are the OMG MY HANDS HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN AND ARE KILLING PEOPLE AGAINST MY WILL!!! plot. Which is just about as stupid as the OMG THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE IN MY HEAD AND HE'S KILLING PEOPLE AGAINST MY WILL!!! plot, which it resembles in most ways except the hand can't talk. (Though sometimes it can write-- depends on what the screenwriter invents.)

I've never encountered it outside of movies, but I'd figure that it'd be just as totally ordinary as most things that get exaggerated in the media tend to be. Like, instead of stabbing people and choking the main body, it'd try to pour itself a cup of tea.

...okay, now I have a mental image of an Alien Hand with You-Know-Who's thing for tea.

[thebkcam.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, and Alien Hand thrillers, for the most part, always have the same damn tagline. "The right hand knows not what the left hand is doing," or whatever. ippeas says it's a play on Matthew 6:3, but if that's the case, they apparently never read the original line to begin with, as they always reverse it so that it's the LEFT hand that's the mystery. (Of course, Dubya also used it in a speech once with the movie-tagline meaning rather than the, uh, humility meaning or whatnot. So maybe knowing the original source doesn't matter much, like all those neologisms that Shakespeare coined.)

[amusedinsanity.livejournal.com]

*laughs* well, I know it sounds silly, but some members of the system like to take over one arm to torment other system members with a cat-toy who promptly attack it using the other arm... fells wierd as hell, but it's amusing to say the least.

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

*giggles!*
Do you have a cat living with you guys? Or do you just like cats toys? That's pretty funny. :D

-Jessa

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

OMG. I'm going to the pet store today to get a cat toy. XD

[amonite.livejournal.com]

We have had something similar happen.

Both myself and Jecklen seemed more elusive fragments of thought when we first came to be, at least that is the theory. Apparently I (and I do remember this through Jenai's memories) took over parts of the body to prove I was really here. The arms especially. At the time, we do not believe I was connected to the body's conscience, or whatever term may bext fit. While I jknew and said I existed I was more ethereal than real. Apparently I choked the body for a while, as well as proving that the body's disability had far less hold on me, and that I could control aspects of the disability.

For a while, after I somehow managed to become a complete and real developing identity rather than an abstract personality wondering why I was around and making threats, I thought that perhaps I was the reason, or perhaps part of the reason, that the body became so disabled after I first became aware.

We still have no idea, all we have are guesses.

Jecklen, as well - we recognized him more easily as he showed the same pattern I first did. He choked the body, took control over pieces, enjoyed scaring us and proved that the body's disability had barely ANY affect on him whatsoever. We eventually tried out the theaory as to my origins and gave Jecklen the choice to either leave, or do whatever I managed to do and become wholly concious. As he was hurting the body, it was a last resort.

We were correct in that he desired survival more than dominance - and since then he has not harmed, though he is a great deal more sullen than we had all expected.

So our theory is that the fleeting thoughts - a name, a personality - coupled with a feeling that soemone else is in control of part of the body, could herald that another person is trying to understand themself and their own presence, and possibly acts in such a manner to feel as if they have some control. Talking to them or writing or finding things that pull them out can help them develop and hopefully break through.

But then systems vary so wildly - that has happened to us before though.

It can be helpful to, as when Jenai is in convulsions, I can front and lessen them, or Jecklen can front and lessen them to almost non existence (although the spinal pain seems inherant to the body and all of us)

Wendy as well does not seem to have the body's disability in its more painful and agressive forms.

[our-haven.livejournal.com]

That is absolutely fascinating. I wonder if perhaps a similar situation might be occuring within our own system. We will certainly employ some of the methods you suggested. I do hope we won't have to resort to ultimatums, however, though this newcomer has been rather abrupt and violent in his attempts to gain attention.

It is also interesting to me how so many of you are not afflicted by the body's disability. Our body is afflicted with bipolar disorder which-- though it is a mental disorder-- still has many debilitating effects... None of which the majority of the residents of our system are affected by.

Thank you for sharing that with us.

Respectfully,
Dimitrus

[newmoon17.livejournal.com]

What seems to vary within the system is the neurological aspect of the disorder (which mimics epilepsy/tourettes/a zillion other movement disorders) Somehow neurological signals get mixed up on the way to my brain, and it is like an electrical overload @.@ Corda and I also have twitch words - though our words are different - words we cannot hear and soemtimes even type or read without twitching @.@ Which seems to be psychological.

Physical aspects, such as the imbalance and spinal pain, and our 'twitch spots' (points on the body that hurt when pressed, like with fibromyalgia, and make us twitch or convulse if tapped) stay the same. However, we each deal with the pain differently. (Corda tries to hide it, Jecklen pretends it is not there and varies between calling us girls wimps or telling us the body is malfunctional, and Wendy does her best to stoicly bear it but when it gets bad one of us take over.) Though Wendy and Jecklen have the best balance, and Corda's balance is better than mine though not as good as theirs.

I suppose it makes sense but would be very interesting if I had the medical knowledge to study it further. Purely physical things seem to stay the same with us, but neurological (which is a kind of physical in current medical view) and psychological impairments vary.


I got to ride a bike a few days ago for the first time in YEARS - I was not sure if I would still be able to. Actually, it does not look like *I* can, at least not without some major risk. I wobble too much and my hands lack the sold motor control. But Corda did well, and Wendy did very very well on the bike. Jecklen did not sem very interested in riding.

I got home and told my mom the trip was fine. Although it may be a dilemna if I ever go biking with family as to who should front - while more than one of us can front at once, it is hard to maintain a dual control system where one controls the body and another interaction with people for any long length of time.

[changelyng14.livejournal.com]

we can do that! :P
weve met another system that does it too.
we used to do it alot when we were all first learning how to front independantly.

we call it 'dissassociating', and have actually found it useful from time to time. particularly in tuning out specific pain.

anyone have a term for it?

[pleiades-rising.livejournal.com]

I don't see why one person in a system can't take control of a single part of the body... sometimes I'll accidentally "bounce" a leg when I'm nervous but someone else is fronting, then they ask what on earth is going on (I don't even realize I'm doing it XD)

And I've also had Afiel flick me and Jenny on our noses when we do something stupid >_>;