multiplicity_archives | Looking For Advice on Non-Conventional Relationships (Reply)

Hello! *waves to the people who know us from our f-list* lol

I am the primary fronter of my system. There are others who are around most of the time, but I am the one who is almost always in control. As such I have almost exclusive 3D experience, but almost no ability to back away from the front.

C is my lover, and a member of another system. We thought at first he was perhaps a soulbond but he seems to be a walk-in or spirit. He is not the primary, and as such rarely fronts, and spends most of his time in the inner world as do the other non-primaries in that system.

We--myself, he and his system's primary, who is a very good friend of mine--are sort of feeling things out as we go, as this is a new situation for us. My friend & I have a completely platonic relationship (especially seeing as how I am gay & she is a she :p) but she has said she is comfortable with the relationship between C & I as long as she doesn't fade into the background and lose primary status, which is certainly understandable. She & her inner family are still exploring various possibilities for who & what the others might be, how many there are, etc, and I don't wish to cause her to feel any sense of unease or anxiety at what must already be a confusing time for her.

Currently, the only means of communication between C & myself is via text messaging, email & LJ for a few hours each week (my friend lives several hundred miles away, so no easy physical contact 6_6;;). I am trying to broaden my ability to travel beyond the 3D world, and starting to explore Dreamwalking & Astral travel so that I can spend more time with C on equal ground. Meeting in our soul forms would take care of most of the challenges we currently face (him not having a body, mine being FUBAR 6 ways till Sunday 9_9;;;, cost of plane fare, etc lol), so any information or tips on how to travel beyond the body would be most appreciated, as I have heard conflicting advice from several sources lol (Incidentally, we share several similar memories, and I believe we were likely lovers in a past life, so we have chosen a place we both remember)

I am mainly looking for any advice or information if anyone else in this community is in or has been in or has known anyone in a similar relationship. It is, needless to say, rather unconventional ;p But I have always believed that if someone wants something badly enough they will find a way to get it. Though it is frustrating being unable to spend time together freely as 'normal' people might, and share many of the simple pleasures (The fates are conspiring so that I will NEVER get any help cleaning that damn cat litter! [/mock-ANGST!] :p) I wouldn't trade C for any 3D man I know, even if they offered to pay off all my debt and give me a brand new body that works the way it's supposed to (That should give the few of you on this list who are also on my friends list--and therefore know my personal financial & physical struggles--an indication of how important C is to me ^_~)

So, after pondering these issues for a few weeks, it occurred to me that we can't possibly be the only lovers who are challenged by such circumstances. It would be great to know what has worked for others, or even join a community for such couples (or triplets or, you know, whatever works for you ;) just to have the support of others who understand the peculiar difficulties we face.

For those of you who have the ability to see & touch your lovers, whether you both be in-house or 3D, please do so. Hold them & kiss them and never take that gift for granted ^_^

~Kier