oh, i'm very aware he thinks all the wrong things of me, partly due to a past job i had, that included me at very close levels with other girls. hes terrified of me going back to that, but that's something i promised MYSELF that i wouldn't go back to, as he knows. it damaged me more than anyone could ever need. even if the money was fantastic.
he repeats over and over that he's trying hard to get over my past, to continue onto the future. of course, to me, my past doesn't really phase me anymore (repressive memory, sometimes a good thing) so i don't understand why he's so sketchy about it. but i have a feeling that it does still get to him, for whatever reason. even if it's just a small thing, like watching something on tv, and it clicks in his head that i did something like that, years ago, and snowball effect from there.
probably the worst part is him just trying to put it all on me, when things are bad. when things are good (99% of the time) then i'm happy as can be, up on a cloud in my own little world *snerk* and not wanting anything else...
i hope i haven't confused you too much. or anyone else who may see this. :/
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timeasmymeasure
Re: Ouch.
Date: 2005-07-04 09:33 pm (UTC)he repeats over and over that he's trying hard to get over my past, to continue onto the future. of course, to me, my past doesn't really phase me anymore (repressive memory, sometimes a good thing) so i don't understand why he's so sketchy about it. but i have a feeling that it does still get to him, for whatever reason. even if it's just a small thing, like watching something on tv, and it clicks in his head that i did something like that, years ago, and snowball effect from there.
probably the worst part is him just trying to put it all on me, when things are bad. when things are good (99% of the time) then i'm happy as can be, up on a cloud in my own little world *snerk* and not wanting anything else...
i hope i haven't confused you too much. or anyone else who may see this. :/