poem

[perse.livejournal.com]

***

girl sitting
by the window
on the floor
red floor
blue and white curtains
cheek resting against the windowsill
eye pointed out
unfocused
as the rain still falls
in sheets
along the pane
hides behind the curtian
hides
the cold rushing past
cracks between
glass and wood
nipping ears
rushing past
pouring down
darkness approaches
but eyes
are unfocused

curled around
the knife inside
heedless of blood
or injury
coiled tightly
hiding small
knees pulled up
under chin
arms around knees
gazing out
streaming down
panes
heedless of time
matter, motion
still and alone
silent
turning it off
tuning out
nothing around
all alone
no noise must
be allowed in
nothing must
get out
escape isn't possible
the perfect prison
no bars
no locks
just life
with the jailers
we have the key
but you can't have it
not until you've
suffered enough
panes
water rushing
streaming
from the sky
cleansing the earth
renewal
but every day is
followed by the next
every day
predated
by one
every day
followed by one
every day
panes
everyday pains
she does not cry
she is brave.
she sighs quietly
because it
won't end
for a long long time
she is still young
& they are vigorous
& she isn't loud enough
isn't smart enough
to find the door
so she shuts them up
& they no longer exist
it's just her alone
inside her head
but someone has to focus
someone has to
appear
someone has to
answer
to rachel
when they are
called
spoken to
told
ordered
someone must be
rachel
must be
someone
must be
rachel
pouring down
from the sky
to the ground
burrowed quietly
in the back of the mind
must be
rachel
i am rachel
no i am rachel
no she is rachel
no we are rachel
as she hides
and cries
and it streams
down panes
while her cheeks
remain perfectly dry
and her eyes
remain perfectly clear
unfocused
on the outside
of the mind
and the stepfather
always chasing
always trying
hurt the rachel
maybe we cannot
get out
but we can always get
in
inside
where it is warm
dry
quiet
noone talks
we pass each other
in dimly lit halls
and look not
on each others faces
we wear no shoes
and our bare feet
caress the marble
of the floor
of her mind
and the cold
starts seeping in
we pass unnoticed
for we are
rachel
are we not?
and she is rachel
sure
but which one is
true
which one is
rachel
who knows
as long as he doesn't
get her
we are all safe
as long as
we are safe
inside at least
then it doesn't matter
what happens outside
cannot truly hurt us
as long as
one can bear this
and the other
handles that
we are all rachels
all rachel's
all rachels
and we all
are alive.
as she burrows further
beneath the marble
beneath the earth
we bury our sister
in the earth
and cover her with marble
the cool
calm
marble
facade
lest any
disturb
her rest
lest any
wake the dead
dead to the world
dead to the pain
dead to the ache
dead
marble
dead

rachel?
why are you
crying?
with cheeks so dry
and eyes so fine
with the emeralds
that glow and beckon
and rage and
gnash invisible
maws
whyfor
cry?
isn't enough
to be dry and warm?
isn't enough to be
safe?
isn't enough that he can't
get you?

no.

already got me.

noone comes in
and noone goes out
the gate
is locked
and we've
thrown away
the key
it fell
glittering
from the window
of the fifth story
we watched.

Comments

[moonfroggy.livejournal.com]

it's a very good poem, we couldn't read the whole thing had to stop, butw hat we read we could relate to, and it was well written, thank you for sharing it