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May. 23rd, 2005 01:21 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
zenboiuke.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesI would like to address a topic which seems to be coming up frequently. What follows is our (K's & my own) philosophy, some of which we have shared before with a few of you, so it will probably sound familiar. We certainly don't intend this to be a preaching post. Although our views might be somewhat controversial, we are respectful of different perspectives and welcome discussion on the topic. Also, as we are semi-merged while composing this, the writing style might shift a bit... our apologies if this makes the post seem disjointed ^_^;;
I think there is a tendency in people who are open to the concept of multiplicity, to assign a persona to their pain. Sometimes, it's very difficult to tell where one entity 'ends' and another one 'begins', and it can likewise be difficult to determine what is an emotion experienced by a system member, and what is the actual suffering itself.
People on the multiple spectrum have often endured such ridicule & invalidation at the hands of others that they become hyper-tolerant of anyone & everyone, in an effort to avoid judging someone or making other people feel the way they themselves felt when their multiplicity was challenged.
However, I think there is a danger is this seemingly benign & generous behavior. If someone mistakes intense, almost palpable suffering or compulsively self-destructive thinking process for a separate & sentient entity, they may inadvertently extend an invitation to that entity to remain within them--in an effort to be inclusive and accepting--and this will expose them to further needless suffering.
Eckhart Tolle uses the term 'painbody' to describe past pain-generated negativity that has temporarily become lodged in our energy field. It seems to take on a life of its own and feeds off the same kind of pain that created it.
When the painbody becomes active, it will create situations in our lives that generate the kind of pain with which it resonates. Once the painbody is full, it goes dormant, and we are able to stop the compulsive negative thinking.
However, this entity is not a person, personality, walk in, alter, shadow, otherkin etc. It is purely & simply, the embodiment of suffering. And I have to ask myself, why would anyone willingly choose to embrace suffering?
There is a difference between the painbody and a frustrated individual who might not get along with other system members, and who throws insults, blocks off memories or even becomes violent. But it's not always easy to tell what is what. I think that most people Know, on some level, though this knowing can be obscured by certain self-destructive learned behaviors like compulsive guilt or low self esteem. People engaging in this sort of behavior might convince themselves that they 'deserve' this negative influence. They might assign a personality to their pain so that it is easier to accept the abuse because it now comes from someone they can trick themselves into believing is simply a misunderstood friend.
I am not saying this is the case with every person who has a negative energy aspect in their system. There are some rightfully disgruntled people out there! And there are some assholes ;)
But on that note, if there is a negative entity present and you KNOW they are not the painbody but an actual sentient being, and they still treat you like crap, all I have to ask is this: If they were a roommate in the 3D world, would you put up with the abuse? Sometimes it's ok to say "This behavior is unacceptable. We can agree to disagree, but if your intent here is to cause harm, you will have to leave." Being accepting & open-minded is one thing, willingly suffering abuse at the hands of ANYONE is insanity.
Now for those of you who discover that this nasty, spiteful creature in your system isn't your newest & bestest anti-friend, but is in fact your painbody (or whatever term you choose to use) there is hope!
I am not just making this up or speaking in trite & lofty cliches, I have been through this phenomenon myself & each time it gets a little easier to stop it. A few weeks ago I faced the painbody head on, and instead of being lured once again into the cycle of self abuse, I held my ground and calmly dissembled its arguments until nothing remained but myself, clear minded, empowered & stable.
No matter how depressed, furious or hopeless you feel, you can find the strength to recapture your life from that monkey on your back, that insidious little voice that whispers poisonous thoughts in your ear. Take a deep breath, go within yourself, and face that creature head-on. It will dissolve in your presence, and give you back a piece of your soul.
It probably won't stay away for ever, so you'll need to be ready for it. I know I have to be prepared for the next time mine rears its ugly little head *cue Rocky theme* :p
For those of you experiencing strife with other system members, the best advice I can give is to communicate with each other, try to find out what each person's needs are and how they can be met while working as a team. Be compassionate and respectful, but don't be a doormat & don't invite or tolerate abusive behavior.
Good luck to everyone, regardless of the source of your turmoil ^_^
Bright Blessings,
Kier & K
Wow. Anyone who actually read all this deserves a cookie XD
I think there is a tendency in people who are open to the concept of multiplicity, to assign a persona to their pain. Sometimes, it's very difficult to tell where one entity 'ends' and another one 'begins', and it can likewise be difficult to determine what is an emotion experienced by a system member, and what is the actual suffering itself.
People on the multiple spectrum have often endured such ridicule & invalidation at the hands of others that they become hyper-tolerant of anyone & everyone, in an effort to avoid judging someone or making other people feel the way they themselves felt when their multiplicity was challenged.
However, I think there is a danger is this seemingly benign & generous behavior. If someone mistakes intense, almost palpable suffering or compulsively self-destructive thinking process for a separate & sentient entity, they may inadvertently extend an invitation to that entity to remain within them--in an effort to be inclusive and accepting--and this will expose them to further needless suffering.
Eckhart Tolle uses the term 'painbody' to describe past pain-generated negativity that has temporarily become lodged in our energy field. It seems to take on a life of its own and feeds off the same kind of pain that created it.
When the painbody becomes active, it will create situations in our lives that generate the kind of pain with which it resonates. Once the painbody is full, it goes dormant, and we are able to stop the compulsive negative thinking.
However, this entity is not a person, personality, walk in, alter, shadow, otherkin etc. It is purely & simply, the embodiment of suffering. And I have to ask myself, why would anyone willingly choose to embrace suffering?
There is a difference between the painbody and a frustrated individual who might not get along with other system members, and who throws insults, blocks off memories or even becomes violent. But it's not always easy to tell what is what. I think that most people Know, on some level, though this knowing can be obscured by certain self-destructive learned behaviors like compulsive guilt or low self esteem. People engaging in this sort of behavior might convince themselves that they 'deserve' this negative influence. They might assign a personality to their pain so that it is easier to accept the abuse because it now comes from someone they can trick themselves into believing is simply a misunderstood friend.
I am not saying this is the case with every person who has a negative energy aspect in their system. There are some rightfully disgruntled people out there! And there are some assholes ;)
But on that note, if there is a negative entity present and you KNOW they are not the painbody but an actual sentient being, and they still treat you like crap, all I have to ask is this: If they were a roommate in the 3D world, would you put up with the abuse? Sometimes it's ok to say "This behavior is unacceptable. We can agree to disagree, but if your intent here is to cause harm, you will have to leave." Being accepting & open-minded is one thing, willingly suffering abuse at the hands of ANYONE is insanity.
Now for those of you who discover that this nasty, spiteful creature in your system isn't your newest & bestest anti-friend, but is in fact your painbody (or whatever term you choose to use) there is hope!
I am not just making this up or speaking in trite & lofty cliches, I have been through this phenomenon myself & each time it gets a little easier to stop it. A few weeks ago I faced the painbody head on, and instead of being lured once again into the cycle of self abuse, I held my ground and calmly dissembled its arguments until nothing remained but myself, clear minded, empowered & stable.
No matter how depressed, furious or hopeless you feel, you can find the strength to recapture your life from that monkey on your back, that insidious little voice that whispers poisonous thoughts in your ear. Take a deep breath, go within yourself, and face that creature head-on. It will dissolve in your presence, and give you back a piece of your soul.
It probably won't stay away for ever, so you'll need to be ready for it. I know I have to be prepared for the next time mine rears its ugly little head *cue Rocky theme* :p
For those of you experiencing strife with other system members, the best advice I can give is to communicate with each other, try to find out what each person's needs are and how they can be met while working as a team. Be compassionate and respectful, but don't be a doormat & don't invite or tolerate abusive behavior.
Good luck to everyone, regardless of the source of your turmoil ^_^
Bright Blessings,
Kier & K
Wow. Anyone who actually read all this deserves a cookie XD
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no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 05:36 pm (UTC)I've been rambling on that theme in my LJ, albeit in french.
Take care
-ricercar
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Date: 2005-05-23 06:46 pm (UTC)Seriously though you guys bring up something very interesting. My thought is, how do you know? What if you have a "painbody" that you thought was an alter. Something that has been supressed for so long. How do you know if it's really that or if it's an alter all on it's own. Someone whose truly separate.
Just some things I've been trying to work through.
~Jessie
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 07:03 pm (UTC)We find that simple practices such as slow, deep breathing, meditation, introspection & biofeedback help us to get in touch with the energy matrix that connects us to All That Is, and when we are connected & our minds are still, it is much easier to sense the Truth, much like it is easier to see the stars on a clean night in the country, far away from the smog & artificial lights of a big city ^_^
BTW, Grace baked you some oatmeal raisin cookies XD
~Kier
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Date: 2005-05-23 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 07:19 pm (UTC)~Kier
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:36 pm (UTC)There are defining characteristics to each person, and it is easy to grossly oversimplify. However, these defining characteristics can be shared. For instance, Janessa and I can both be considered "motherly" or "protector" types. One just has to be sure to recognize that we all can be "the hurt one, the scared one, the angry one" depending on the situation. We all wear different hats, but it's going a bit overboard to insist that each hat only belongs to a specific person when we share everything. *shrugs* Dunno if that made sense. I'm talking out of my head at the moment.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:44 pm (UTC)Sure some of us tend toward certain moods... Tyler is very passionate & a bit hotheaded, while K maintains an aura of blissful peace & almost childlike wonder. But Ty has his lighthearded moments & is learning more self control & maturity (he just flipped me off XD) and K has his moments when... well, it's complicated, but he has his moments -_-;;; LOL Jack and I have a lot in common, but we're not the same person... we're more like brothers *grin*
~Kier
no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-23 08:37 pm (UTC)~Kier
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Date: 2005-05-23 09:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-05-24 03:07 am (UTC)when we had just come out, during our first few census'es. we identified a voice we named the 'critic'. a voice that would banter about our general worthlessness and all the ways we deserved to suck. we never found a consciousness that it belonged to, and since we don't really hear that voice anymore, we actually forgot about it. :O
thanks :P
-Tia of the Changelyng
no subject
Date: 2005-05-25 11:57 am (UTC)One of the advantages of being multiple (at least for us) is that shadow stuff gets caught quickly - we see and hear what one another do, and if it isn't healthy we get a good look at what's driving it. Several of us have decent counseling skills and we work on what comes up for each other.
For those of you experiencing strife with other system members, the best advice I can give is to communicate with each other, try to find out what each person's needs are and how they can be met while working as a team. Be compassionate and respectful, but don't be a doormat & don't invite or tolerate abusive behavior.
That's how to live in a community.