apology

[paladin1701.livejournal.com]

My earlier post about NIN's "Only" really touched some nerves in the wrong way and I wanted to apologize for it. I in no way intended to insult anyone, and it seems I did. My intention wasn't to say that Reznor intended to discuss multiplicity in those lyrics, nor that he lives plural. I didn't realize that people felt so strongly about that particular band and song. I was mostly just curious what people thought.
Again, I apologize.

An introduction of sorts...

[celestialscar.livejournal.com]

First, I must say that I was glad to come across this community. I do not know why I had not thought of looking on LJ for such a thing, but the thought did not ever cross my mind. I find it encouraging (but somewhat sad, as well), that there are others who live or lived in the manner which I/we did/do.

The main reason for this post and my renewed will to research, I admit, is that I have come across an interesting dilemma with the system. Everyone else is gone.

For simple background, I will say that the multiplicity began at a young age (7-8years) as a result of trauma, which I am sure many understand. There were far more people back then, many of which integrated to form new, more complex people. I grew up as the main fronter, the supposed main-personality, and did not know any of this was going on. When I met my now-husband, things became apparent that something was not right, and the alters at the time revealed themselves. We were down to three (originally we numbered 15, I believe). They came out regularly for years and years, and many problems and memories have been worked out and shared.... but at the same time, new problems arose. A while back, however, they stopped coming out. I do not hear anything from them, they are not here, and I do not know why.

My husband has suggested that we integrated, but in my heart (if I can phrase it that way), I do not feel that to be true. I do not remember many of the things that I supposedly should (things I know happened but do not recall specifically). My personality has not changed in a remarkable way, either, and there was no reason for us to become one all of a sudden like that.

To an extent, I admit it partly to be a relief, as one of the other personality was very troublesome, but the situation itself troubles me and I hoped that someone would be able to offer some insight.

In any case, for those who read this all, thank you. Any advice or information would be appreciated. Also, it is very nice to meet all of you.

Single, anyone?

[linnai.livejournal.com]

Hey! Had a question...

( All behind here to spare people not interested. Short summary: It's about being single and in a multiple system )