Introduction

[menokh.livejournal.com]

I suppose I should introduce myself.
I joined this community for two main reasons.

The first is that my boyfriend is multiple. He shares his body with one other being, who seems to be of late medievil French extraction, but it could just be a traditionalist from a later period. Either way he is not from this era. My boyfriend is the primary front for the body, and only very rarely does the other soul come to the front. He tells me he's been like this for as long as he can remember. Jarous, as he calls him, has always been there guiding and providing companionship. As far as our relationship goes, Jarous was slow to warm up to me, and even though I've never actually talked at length with him, I'm told he likes me now.

The second reason is that i've been coming to a realization as of late, that I might not be the only one here inside myself. Thanks to my looking around to solve my boyfriend's questions about himself, I've been learning about me. I do have a subjective voice in my head that I ignored for awhile. I used to see him as an imaginary friend when I was younger, but he didn't go away. I then saw him as a guardian spirit for awhile, but my faith in guardians wained. But now I wonder if he might be more. I've been trying to, with limited success, communicate with him, and it has only served to confuse me more. There are times when I'll simply watch as I do things, and not feel like it's "me" doing it. Perhaps the strangest thing is sometimes when I'm almost asleep I'll "hear" two thought streams, mine and another. Only time will tell, I guess.

disorganization, co-consciousness rant: alternatives to integration?

[effeteifrit.livejournal.com]

I'm writing in right now because I'm trying to figure out what to do about my system...something needs to change. In the past I've dealt with difficulty making long-term decisions, like what college major I should be. Right now I'm attempting to deal with what my career choice should be--what kind of work I'll enjoy doing for the rest of my life. Obviously, career planning classes aren't made for people with other people living in them.

At the present time, I don't have the ability to tell everyone apart, and I usually have a difficult time telling who I am at any given moment. I'm not even sure that the schema or mental map that I've made up in the past to describe myself to myself still fits. I'm not sure that the identities I've named and conceptualized are the identities that exist. And I have little control over who is fronting when.

What I want is to be able to be myself--wholly myself--without other people peeping in and trying to give their input, while I'm still thinking that I'm totally myself. I want to be able to live. I want to be able to make decisions. I suppose this is maybe spurred on by my looking at physical transition again (female to male)--that is, using testosterone--and having to come up with a compromise instead of what I really wanted. I have to think about others and not just myself. And that's difficult.( Read more... )

(no subject)

[pengke.livejournal.com]

The recent discussion got us thinking. I thought it would be amusing to find out how many people in this community think we're not really multiple. If you'd like to answer, follow the link to our journal where anonymous comments are allowed. We're not looking for people to go, "Of course, we think you're multiple." because where would the fun be in that. No one's going to yell at your comment or respond in any way. We just prefer that you give some sort of reasoning rather than just yes.

Do you think we're really multiple?

If anyone else would like to participate, feel free to start your own comment thread in our journal. Just comment asking if anyone thinks that you're not multiple. You could make a post in your journal and link to it in the comments here. The only rules are that you're not allowed to respond to anyone's answers or get upset over them.

Please don't comment here to answer our question.