Puzzled

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Does any of you know how to reply to comments? We can't figure it out. Every time we try the thing comes up up that the comment did not post. For the person who asked about if I was still on the medication and seeing the therapist, the answer is no. I got out of that as fast as I could. The day after the allergic reaction I called the therapist and told her that I wouldn't be back because the meds had made my tongue curl up and block my air ways. And yes it did inhibit communications between the four of us. Thank you all for commenting and I will reply as soon as I figure out how.

You Mean, I'm Not The Original?

[scattermew.livejournal.com]

I had an interesting day yesterday. During therapy I made an interesting realisation: we had sort of all "assumed" I (Taryn) was the so-called "host personality", or the "original" one in the body, not making any statements about where the others came from. I stunned myself into realising it was more than likely I was not the original personality. When I was coming out of my depression in my mid-teens, I frequently posted using Cait as an alias in many chat forums. In fact, I considered legally changing my name to Caitlin Molly Alison Taylor (notice anyone missing?). That never happened, obviously. My mum named me Taryn and for a long time, I wasn't too sure of the name or if it fit, and was very masculine as a kid, so I was usually called "Stevie"... Confusing I know...but at some point, I realised Caitlin was the person I wanted to be, but Taryn was the person I was...and...perhaps that was the beginning of me? I was equipped to deal with a lot of the problems the body was facing, and a sort of re-emerging as a way more feminine girl than I was before, relearning a ton of skills, dealing with the abuse, etc... So was that when I split off, and maybe Cait, or even someone else (Aisling?) is the core personality? It would be one of the reasons Cait and I both feel 12 - when you add them up, you get 24, and we turn that next year. Add to that fact Cait sometimes acts younger, and you have a nice cleaving there...happening a little after I started going through puberty (what little of that I experienced)...who knows? Any ideas on this?

I've also realised I'm forever going to have to deal with this...overpowering paranoia that seems to have affixed itself to me. I mean, Kiera's (my sister's girlfriend, also a member here) idea of a little program we can all use as a to-do list and install on all our computers was a smashing idea, and half of me (just me!) thought that, and the other half thought she was gonna put spyware on my computer. This is not normal, and it's becoming troubling to Cait, too, cause she has to deal with it even when she's fronting, as it's that powerful...ick... During my therapy appointment, my therapist told me she made an appointment with a psychiatrist for me, suddenly coming at 0900 today...of course, being so stressed and tired from the day before, I slept through my alarm - had to call and leave a message to reschedule...

Any ideas or suggestions or thoughts would be most helpful!

Thanks & Hugs,
♥ Ryn

More Questions

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hello All,
First of all I am going to appologize in advance for asking so many questions. It hasn't been that long since I found out I had multiple personalities and it hasn't been too long since they found out about me. Here's my problem though. I just started cold college back in August. It has been incredibly stressful as you can imagine, but when is life not. Anyway before school we communicated a lot and every one worked together with no fighting. Anyway, now that I've gotten my nose out of the homework a bit I am noticing that every one is "Hiding." No one fronts but me. They are still working together, as far as I know, but it's almost like I can't see them or hear them much anymore. this is disturbing to me because I am afraid that I am losing them. I do not want that to happen. Does any of you have any ideas about what is going on and what can be done about it? Again I apologize if I am off base or being arrogant by asking. I'm just a little scared because I am not used to talking about such things. Most of my friends, with the exception of the two who also are multiples know nothing and I feel I can't tell them. One of my friends is having the same problem as I am. Thanks in advance for our help,
Host

Thanks

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

My name is Eulaliegh Amber-flame. I live in the house of the one you know as rhymer_713. I am a dragon--a silver dragon to be exact and I am posting to thank all of you who commented on her journal entry. Your suggestions were very helpful. There is one of us whom we haven't re-established connections with yet but that will come in time. I personally hid because college is a stressful thing and I don't quite understand all the concepts. For esxample, why do professors require a thing called homework done at a very odd time frame? But that is off-topic. I'm sorry. I will go now because we haven't quite figured out the Lj cut yet. Can wo send things posted to you through our journals? Also how many LJ accounts can we have? We have two e-mail accounts and one is used with this LJ. We can share if need be. Thank you very much for helping me communicate again.

ESA