MPD

[bizamoogie.livejournal.com]

XPosted to bizamoogie

A majority of people I have met don't believe I have multiple personality disorder. They say that I am faking it. They say that sooner or later, I will get tired of living the lie.

It's been 11 years. Yes, contrary to popular belief, I was multiple before I was raped. So..when am I going to tire of living the lie?

If I could take some magic pill and not have multiples anmore, I can't say that I'd take it. They are me and I am them, though we are seperate.  I'm sure in the furture I'd happily take that pill but for now ... take me or leave me.

For those of you who don't velieve me, here is my confession.

 

It's all a lie.

Because I enjoy pretending to not recognize your friend even though I've met them before. I think it's funny to see them tilt their head in confusion and turn to look at you with a "WTF" expression. And I love acting like I don't remember what happened yesterday. And it's just SOOO much fun to look in my grocery bag and see something I don't remember even picking up. And you know what I find to be even more titalating? Walking past a mirror to discover that my chest-length hair has been cut to just under my ears.

Fuck all of you.  You're not important enough to me for me to care whether or not you believe me. If you're happy sitting in your little corner thinking that i'm some psycho chic manipulating my boyfriend and that Cory's an idiot for staying with me, that's your business.  It pisses me off that it hurts so bad knowing that no one believes me.

Yes, I know that my MPD isn't textbook. I know that I wasn't initally trauma based. It doesn't mean that it's not real. If you'd get off your fucking pedastel, you'd realize that I don't GET anything out of faking MPD. Nothing. Nada. Zip.

~*~/-/~*~