something I found out tonight...x-posted to multiplicity and <u

[lizjustliz.livejournal.com]

So, I was talking to _malea_ tonight, and I realized something almost unbelievable. Rachel wasn't the original core...I was. lots of things make more sense now, like for example, when the body was born, it had blonde hair, and blue eyes...a week later, it's hair fell out, and it's eyes turned brown, the hair that grew in was almost jet black, it was so dark brown.(i'm blonde/blue - check out my icon in the collective icon, you'll see...i don't look like Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I resemble her in a few ways: my coloring, my stature...)

See,

question for multiplicity

Has anyone ever realized, after years of not knowing, that they're the original core, or the original inhabitant of the body?



continuation of my musings

See, basically I could never really figure out how old I am...sometimes it felt like i'd always been here, and sometimes it felt like I'm really young...I'm figuring it's like that, because I'm 25(the age of the body) but I never got to experience those years, so I feel young...also, I was always self-aware. It never mattered to me(and still really doesn't) what the other inhabitants of the body did with/to it...because I was always, and will always be, me. I never felt like anything mattered much, because I knew who I was. Even before I had a name, I was always me. Something else I noticed, that makes so much more sense now, is I tend to manifest physically more than all the others...I self-injured inside, and the scars show up physically on the body when I come out...I tend to shrink(not literally, but I'll sink down in my seat, or somehow take up less room on the bed) and my fingers also hold the non-sensitivity that they have inside from my SI. Malea tells me that my eyelashes are longer than the others, and that my hair is different, but I don't personally see those things, as none of us are all that wild about mirrors.



things I realized tonight

when I  thought back, I realized I remember things, everything that's happened to the body, basically, in first person...see, everyone else has memories, but they all view them in the third person, like watching a movie in our minds...I can do that too, but I can also view them like I was there, something they can't do...not even with things that have happened to them specifically...I can remember all the way back to peeing on the Rabbi at my naming ceremony as an infant...in first person...I remember how it felt, what the synagogue looked like...everything...but not as an adult would see it...I remember it the way I saw it...or, the way Rachel did, I suppose...but it also appears I was always there...and not even locked away, the way Rick did to all of us...even though I could see out then too...

We also realized that everyone gets cold, like me...except Tara, who Rachel specifically created...Rachel never got cold...the irony of it is, Rachel created Tara, but Tara looks more like me...blonde hair, blues eyes...*giggle*  I remember being self aware as a child, even on the inside too, which I didn't realize I remembered until tonight...like in nursery school, I remember telling Rachel she was nuts for having a crush on a specific teacher...I knew Rachel and I were different people, and I knew she was outside, and I was inside...


Well, I guess that's enough for tonight, especially since I'm posting this in multiplicity, I wouldn't wanna bore you people...check out my own journal, I'll end up posting more I'm sure...now I have something to say...


Elizabeth Reneé Callie MacLeod
aka
Liz
Pack Collective[Unknown site tag][Unknown site tag]

Comments

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say that it's normal for newborns to lose their embryo hair and grow in new hair later on. And it's also normal for a newborn's eyes to change color.

http://www.hairboutique.com/tips/tip165.htm
http://vision.about.com/od/childrenvision/f/eyecolorchange.htm

--Gina

-So there's nothing unusual about that =)

[lizjustliz.livejournal.com]

but never so quickly, and this one is a strange coincidence...I'm blonde/blue, and Rachel is brown/brown...I personally see it as more evidence...if it were the only thing, I'd agree with you, but it's just one of a whole list of things that make this make sense...

not to mention, i'll be posting about the things that have happened since I've taken my place as the core...which are interesting in and of themselves...

Liz

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, we were born with many "originals" in this body. I like to think of them as the forefathers of our group (in a male and female way). :soft smile:

Jenilee

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

are some of the people in your group 'soulbonds'? or did they take just take on the names of tv characters? our group has a few soulbonds...

kas

[justmalea.livejournal.com]

forgive my ignorance on the subject, but can you describe what you mean by soulbond?

also, just as a side note, i can tell you that Faith and Tara are their own people that just happen to have names that are similar to those of tv characters... haven't you ever known anyone named Faith or Tara? I've known several Tara's in my life and Faith is a very common name where i grew up (Oklahoma)...

they are my soulmates, the three of us definitely have a bond, but i don't know what exactly you mean by soulbond...

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

A "soulbond" (in my understanding) is an entity/being, etc that has connections to created characters from media, games, literature (and the like). It doesn't mean they aren't real. Some people feel such a strong connection with a particular character, for instance, that they become very real to them. Whether they are "summoned" or "manifested" is something we don't know. We have a few in our group as well.

[justmalea.livejournal.com]

ahhh, cool... thanks for the explaination...

they each have a lot in common with their media namesakes, but they both realize that they are separate people and that the characters on tv are not real and specifically NOT them...

i think a lot of the reason that they do relate to the characters is that their physicalities and interests are similar to those of the characters... but the same could be said for me, i relate EXTREMELY well, even to the point of calling them my archetypes, to Gabrielle (from Xena: Warrior Princess) and Willow (from Buffy)... but i've never, and they do not either, confused myself with those characters... i hope that makes sense...

thanks for the explaination though, i'd never heard the term before in that context...

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

yes, it makes sense.. :)

it's really just a term or a word that floats around out there... and it doesn't change how important and special they are to you... but you might encounter that word again somewhere..

-Kasia

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

and to add to the previous comment... it doesn't mean that soulbonds are a lesser person, by any means... they definitely are real in their own right... sometimes these characters/people start off as very similar to the characters they represent and then develop their own personality and become very sentient, you could say...

Kasia

[lizjustliz.livejournal.com]

it sounds possible, and Faith and Tara are looking into it, actually...but in my opinion, They were born here like others were, and I remember when they were born(the body is 25, Tara is 22 and Faith is 21)

I also remember the events that brought them out, and I remember when they chose their names...they identified with those characters, and resemble them a bit, but in the way a child wants to be called "spiderman"...deep down he knows he's not spiderman, but he identifies with the struggle peter parker goes through...in our outside group of friends, everyone goes by a nickname, or "tag name" names they chose that they feel fit them... doesn't make them any more "spongebob" or "undertaker" or "lestat".

Faith and Tara shouldn't be confused with Faith Spencer or Tara MacLay...they're wonderful women...and very real.

Liz

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We use the term "presence" (or imaginal presence) for a media character who is connected to an earth world person -- we only say "soulbond" when we are talking to people online who call it soulbonding. The original meaning of soulbond was much more what you said in your last paragraph.

[lizjustliz.livejournal.com]

could you explain soulbonding and "presence" a little more?

liz

does this help?

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

http://www.karitas.net/pavilion/library/articles/s_sbsense_ast0802.html