Attention getting successful?

[shandra.livejournal.com]

So here's a question.

What's the most or best attention you've ever gotten for being open about your multiplicity?

I will admit that I once had someone offer to buy "everyone their favourite drinks." So I guess the highest tangible *outside* value I can put on it is about $30, which is where we had to stop if I was going to get home okay.

(The usual disclaimers apply that this is for fun, that I'm not suggesting people /really/ make things up to get attention, that coming out to get free booze is not a good reason, etc. :-))

Shandra

Comments

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

There's very few singletons in RL who know we're a we. Concern and curiosity seem to be the usual responses. One of our friends offered us a milkshake :) One of our friends that we haven't talked to about it we believe knows - she's been a blessing at working with some of the children, and shifts modes of dealing with us depending on who's in front.

No big reaction from other multiples - it is nice not to have to explain things, and sometimes we compare notes. :)

One odd thing that's come up talking to other multiples is using caffiene to supress who's at the front, particularly to keep child-selves away from the front. It wasn't a conscious act, but seems to be consistent... anybody else notice their caffiene usage skyrocket under certain kinds of stress?

[etana.livejournal.com]

yes but I assumed that was to stay clear and awake....oh....clear.....aha!
I get it now! :)
Yeah I tend to drink 5-8 diet cokes and a few pots of coffee on the stressful/straining days

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

*giggle* That wouldn't work in this house! Most of the kids like coffee.

We used to be the coffee champions, especially on our night job. We still love coffee but the healers' guild have nixed more than two or three cups a day. We haven't noticed that coffee has an effect on who's out -- just about nothing does, unless someone eats meat, Gabe and jade are vegetarians.

What we can do is get people to come up by offering certain things in the earth world.

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

Caffiene supressing who's at the front? o.O Never heard of that one personally, but then again We're not really big on caffiene (the body is allergic to coffee and most of Us don't like soda or tea). A couple of the kids do eat a lot of candy though.

caffeine

[pilgrimchild.livejournal.com]

YES. on stressful days, go through extra and extra and extra cans of diet soda. pour on the caffeine because we cant get enough.

[judiff]

from like another multiple friends we get seperate presents for christmas instead of a group one which is cool, but then obviuolsy we have to get them seperate presents too so it doesn't realy work out as a advantage for like money!

[marrke.livejournal.com]

Back in high school there was a girl we knew who used to bring treats on a regular basis for the kids in here. She also brought meat for one of the more carnivorous people.

[etana.livejournal.com]

LOL can't say anything positive has every happened because I "came out" to someone - er we that is - I just "came out" to a very close friend and I can already sense her eyes shift when I'm not looking, her voice change when she addresses me - her questioning, unspoken, and her judgements.
That's really all I ever get.

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

The closest I've noticed is a friend of ours who speaks to specific personae... We had dinner a few nights ago to celebrate her getting a new job, and she called me "Delta" the whole time.

Ironic considering that Tarnish feels closer to her than I do, but...

[parisstar.livejournal.com]

My gf almost bought xmas gifts for the littles, but didn't cos of money we had... or didn't.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

We tend to be fairly closed-mouthed about our multiplicity in RL-- we prefer not to be noticed, for the most part. We have had other multiples give separate Christmas/holiday/thingy presents to people in here, though-- does it count if it's from another plural? ;)

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

Anyone who accepts us for who we are is the best attention we could receive.

[forever-alone.livejournal.com]

I agree... though that's a rare occurence for us.

[gia1977.livejournal.com]

I second that one too!

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Oh I agree for sure, but I was thinking more in terms of externally tangible rewards. Like money for phone bills or whatever. :-)

[kasiya-system.livejournal.com]

Well, we like to get the kids games and toys that are just for them. :)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

The best attention we've gotten?
That would be sethrenn :)

We have kind of a success story currently in that Jay came Out at work and with one exception (who keeps thinking it's "split personalities") everybody is accepting of it and one of our co-workers turned out to be plural too. This is the first job we've had where we have been Out.

[ninalyn.livejournal.com]

We did something that could've potentially been disasterous: We told a friend over email that we were multiple (and this friend happened to be a phd student in the same department we worked for so word really could've gotten around had he started blabbing about it). Lucky for us, although he'd never really heard of it, he was more than happy to listen and learn. Now we're happily dating, and he makes sure to try to get the teens and adults a present for birthdays/holidays and then one for the kids (usually a DVD or something). He also celebrates all of our separate birthdays with us. It's really nice. :)

[gia1977.livejournal.com]

Wow! That is wonderful! I'm glad this was a blessing for you in the long run and that is sweet how he celebrates separate birthdays with you all. How did you all find your birthdates? I've not been able to pinpoint that in my crew, so I'm interested.

[ninalyn.livejournal.com]

You know, I'm not really sure. Not all of us have separate birthdays from the body. Most of us don't (some of the ones that I suppose I should call otherkin -- although they don't particularly like that term -- don't have birthdays at all because they never age). A few of us just knew that the body's birthday wasn't theirs and knew a date off-hand that would be better for them. Others chose a day that held good memories for them (e.g. Patrick chose his birthday to be on the day he and our SO went out to a baseball game and had a lot of fun).

That probably didn't help any. . .ack. Good luck with it, though!

[planetnumber3.livejournal.com]

We've never really gotten any special attention for being plural. The only people who know us as Us are people who wouldn't think differently about Us if they knew [woah, grammar]... so.... yeah. XD

The only special attention would be that instead of getting one larger gift for x-mas one year, Z's SO got each of us something small. It was really touching.

-XYZ

[ghostwalker.livejournal.com]

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

One way that we have of letting people know who we are is for jason or someone else here to draw pictures of us. If we have a good idea what people look like in other systems we can do pictures of them too. One of ninquelote's icons is from a picture that was drawn by jason at Christmas 2003.

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

I guess the best attention would be from Our SO(s) who is/are also multiple. For once in Our lives, each of Us (if they choose) can have someone to call his/her own and none of Us are unhappy with the relationship like so many have been in past ones, plus the body is still monogamous which is important to Us. We get to be Ourselves around Them. Our SO(s) are a perfect match in so many ways, and it's nice that each of Us gets recognized for birthdays and holidays (although usually presents are given in groups - one for the adults, one for the teens, and one for the kids on Winter Holiday and the body birthday. Then individual birthdays get little presents.)

We're also blessed with some very close multiple friends as well who have kept Us going through some hard times (like singleton friends abandoning Us for being multiple).

It's nice to be understood and accepted.

[idianshire.livejournal.com]

I suppose for us it's always been the little things that get to us. Like having people call us by name, acknowledge the differences in tastes and interests. Like if they know Tryall is out then they will automatically put milk in her coffee, it's never anything spectacular, just ittle normal stuff that woul dhappen if we had our own bodies, bu tthings a lot of people, even those that know we are multiple totally forget about.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Yes! One mentioned that in an earlier entry about identity; I remember that day very clearly, when we rode with our singlet friend and she remembered that Gabriel would not come out while other people were eating meat.

What pleased me even more was that as her question was specifically addressed to Gabriel, she waited for him; she did not assume that to speak to one of us is to speak to all.

She had never known anyone who was multiple; this was a sensitivity on her part that I could wish others would cultivate.

Moreh

[shandra.livejournal.com]

I agree with what people have said (about being acknowledged) although some people would consider being related to for who you actually are is more of a basic need than a luxury. We are out at work and among our friends and much of our family and it's nice and a kind of a gift, but also just - regular, at this point.

The added gifts is probably the most tangible bit, but it seems like a *lot* of work for some extra birthday cake or toys. :-)

It doesn't seem like people are raking in big bucks for being multiple anyway... something to remember the next time someone brings up the 'faking it' issue.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

It doesn't seem like people are raking in big bucks for being multiple anyway... something to remember the next time someone brings up the 'faking it' issue.

You really can't any more, not in this day and age. We've (er, multiples in general) had our run on the talk-show freak circuits and TV movie subjects-of-the-week, and for better or worse, we're no longer considered interesting. Most people these days are apt to label you a faker or malingerer if you get too open about it-- and yeah, that's always something good to point out if you're accused of same. If you want everyone to look at you or pity you, there are much better ways to do it-- why expose yourself to that kind of potential ridicule?

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We always thought "faking it for attention" was supposed to mean in terms of the sick role... that if people regarded you as having been through all the hell that was supposed to be the sole cause of multiplicity, and as having a disorder, they'd treat you with more kindness or tolerance. You know, the kind of thing "You're such a GRATE BRAV SERVIVOR!" Even if they really were that, it felt to us like this sort of attitude kind of lessened their honour in some way, that we were never sure how to describe.

[ex-senza6.livejournal.com]

Tangible stuff?... Hm...

A girl we know gave Viola a box of chocolates for her eighteenth birthday (which is on a different day to the body's birthday - Viola was incredibly touched that she'd remembered). And rakarr bought Oscar a bottle of brandy as a gift when we met up with him last summer.

vonsturm have often sent us small gifts for individual members, as well as writing us separate letters (we do the same in return for them, so it may not exactly count as profiting from it, though).