what the kids know

[perse.livejournal.com]

I put this comment in reply to a question someone had asked after my really long post. I thought it might get more responses if I posted it as a separate thread. :)

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No, my daughter doesn't know that I'm multiple. I've had custody issues with her father and it's not something that I would want thrown into that mix. While I am not entirely stable I am responsible and I think I do my best to be a good mother to V.

I think she does know that at different times she speaks to different parts of me. For instance she is more likely to call Mandala "Rachel" or "Mother" than "Mamma" or "Mommie". She is generally more tender towards Bethie and/or rachel and demands more hugs and kisses from them.

I think that when she gets to an age to understand more clearly what I'm talking about I will explain it to her. Also as the situation with her father grows more and more supportive and understanding, less confrontational, that helps too.

Right now, it doesn't feel safe. :(

That is hard because I'd prefer to just be myselves with her.

Does anyone else have any input on this?

Comments

[ex-takenbutt517.livejournal.com]

I knew someone who had DID who had three children who figured it out on their own. They were 12 and 13 (twins), but she never explained it to them, and I felt that was wrong since they already knew she was more then one person.

[kaleidescope.livejournal.com]

i have a four year old - not mine biologically - and one of the kid's biological parents is multiple. as well as my"self." and it's interesting to watch the interactions between the kid and the other multiple parent cause the kid totally reacts to all of the people in there differently. like, is very nurturing toward the small children, and talks to them like they're fellow babies, and responds to the parents in there like they're, you know, the parents, and then there are some people who are more like... uncles or whatever, or just not even really in that relationship, and the kid just totally doesn't regard them as parents. one of them, a long time ago, was all "what? that's not MY kid," and i thought that there would be a huge scene (like "mommy said i wasn't her kid!" or something) but the kid just totally took it in stride like, of course i'm not your kid, why on earth would we question that.
we've since had a few little discussions about how mommy and i have different people who share our bodies with us and so on, but it's been a while.