Contemplation

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

This are very strange. I have been in relationships with multiples, and now find that there is someone in my own head. He talks to me and lately has been doing it a lot more. Sometimes we get along. Sometimes we don't. He can be dangerous and takes a lot of energy to control. He now is involved with someone and I don't know how that is going to go. I haven't let him out, or *front* I guess is more proper, in a few days. He gets very aggitated and is highly emotional.

I guess I wonder if this is a true multiple situation, or what? I am very aware of him, and he is of me. We can speak to each other mentally constantly. I don't know. Sort of lost I guess. Maybe it's just my depression? Something else?

Comments

[luwana.livejournal.com]

Selene and I know of and talk to each other. While yes, you can't dismiss the idea that it might be a side effect or even primary effect of something wired wrong in your mind, it might just be your imagination, there is nothing to say that this can't be a 'true multiple' siuation.

Thank you

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your comment. I don't know if it's my imagination, I never had anyone in my head talk back to me. I did have the scary imaginary friend thing when I was a kid, and this thing has the same feel. Anyway thank you so much for your response.

[kasiawhisper.livejournal.com]

it could also be a spirit guide or spirit of some kind too.. they communicate with thoughts..

Thanks

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your reply. I do not think he is a spirit, but I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

[ques-nova.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure why you'd think otherwise...

Thank you

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

Well I guess because I don't really know what I should think. The ones I've known with this are not going to help me. That's why I came to the groups around the web. Trying to find maybe some direction. I am trying to get along with my other, and find out where he belongs. Thanks for you comment. I really appreciate it.

Re: Thank you

[ques-nova.livejournal.com]

Not a problem. Still not quite sure why you'd think otherwise, but it sounds to me like you're a multiple and should now go about getting to know your other, setting up a system that works for both of you, basic rules for the body and all... Good luck.

Re: Thank you

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

What you "should" think? You are the only one who can decide. There are many possibilities.

Re: Thank you

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

Yeah I know, just that little thing that makes you wonder if you're right or what I guess. Thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Only the questioning person or system can make the decision about whether they're really plural. I can only tell you what our experiences have been, in case it might help. We wondered ourselves at one point if we had just created the others because we were trying to understand a friend of ours who was multiple, or if it was a genuine thing.

Identity is highly malleable. I think there are all kinds of possibilities-- some people never share their bodies at all, some people spend their whole lives doing so, some people share only for a brief time. There are a lot of reasons why you might start experiencing the feeling of sharing headspace if you never have before. Having been exposed to the idea of multiplicity, some people find that it makes more sense to interpret their internal workings through that paradigm than through the idea of a single constant self, and begin to experience each other as distinct voices when they didn't before. Sometimes people can be created, for any number of reasons; or if you accept the idea of walk-ins as valid, sometimes people can come in from elsewhere.

Something else you might want to consider, though: Is he really dangerous or does he just feel that way because you put so much energy into trying to keep him suppressed? Often, people who are highly emotional, easily frustrated, or have moral or religious beliefs which run counter to those of the regular frontrunner(s) can feel scarier and more dangerous than they really are, especially if you're not used to it.

Also, people often think about doing things that they wouldn't really do if given the opportunity. Have you ever thought about punching your boss in the face when you're really frustrated, or running an obnoxious driver off the road? The fact that you can think about it, and might get some satisfaction out of imagining it, doesn't mean that you can't be trusted at work or behind the wheel.

Thank You

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for you reply. I really do appreciate it. I think I have had a similar thing happen. I have been exposed to a few people with multiples, and had some stress in dealing with them. Well a lot of stress actually. So I think maybe this person, this other has been a result of that. I had an other when I was younger I believe, but I thought it was gone, or something from my imagination. Now it seems maybe that's not the case. I don't know. And yes this other is dangerous. He's not the type to *think* about punching the boss, he is the type to do it. He has to have constant limits and be monitored.

Re: Thank You

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

There are quite a few possibilities. He may be completely independent, or he may be what the Victorians would term a second self -- made up of your own impulses and traits that you have suppressed as unfitting to your daily existence, your self-image, and what others want you to be. (This suppression was the original meaning of "dissociation".) These are only two possibilities.

Since you have dealt with people who are multiple in the past, you're of course inclined to think of yourself in those terms, but if you wish to describe and name your experience, you should find out as much as you can about yourself and about him; not necessarily follow what anyone else thinks.

(It's "people who are multiple", by the way, not "people with multiples".)

Re: Thank You

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

I apologies for not knowing the correct terms. I haven't really spoken to anyone about this other than the people I have known who are multiples. And they as I've said aren't really helping.

I do think that maybe he is a conglomeration of the aggression and maybe the hurt I've felt, but do not allow into my life. We each have our own histories, and they are very different. He may very well be that second self you describe. He can not be independent though. He behaves like a child, a very disturbed child, but a child none the less.

Re: Thank You

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

A lot of stress in dealing with them? Are your multiple friends the type who have a lot of internal problems and power struggles within the system?

When someone is constantly surrounded by people who are not only having those types of crises but getting attention for them, it's easy to come to feel that one is not good enough, that if you're seen as the 'normal one,' then you're less important and worthy of others' attention than those who are seen as having problems-- you sometimes wish you were having problems too (or bigger problems) just so someone will notice you. We've had a bit of this ourselves.

For some people, having friends who are multiple can be a motivation for them to re-examine their own identity, and whether it really fits the one-person standard-- however, in some cases, if someone who's never manifested themselves before in any form shows up and causes obvious problems for you, it may be a reflection of an unconscious desire to be like your friends with problems, or to receive as much attention as they get. Does he have a valid reason for having aggression problems (something that happened in his own world, for instance), or is he just acting the part of a troublemaker for no reason you can tell?

A lot of multiples who've been through a lot of therapy have often been encouraged to identify certain people in their system as designated troublemakers or persecutors-- however, a lot of self-recognised systems really don't have people who are hostile for no good reason. It doesn't necessarily have to be part of the package. (Sometimes someone may -appear- to be hostile for no reason, but if they're a real person capable of a full range of emotions, there tends to be a reason behind it, even if's not necessarily one that justifies -everything.-)

Re: Thank You

[greeneyeddevilm.livejournal.com]

I think all those things may be parts of my problem. Although like I said I had something like this when I was a kid too. Just not to this extent. My little *troublemaker* took the persona of someone I wrote about as his mold, and in that history shall we say he had a lot of problems. None of which I have as my own history. I had problems, bad ones just not the same ones he has as his. I hope that made sense. I think in a way he holds the aggression that I myself do not allow into my own life, this is a over all view of our being seperate.

As far as the ones I have been involved with, you maybe right. I have never been an attention seeking person, but I don't know. Maybe that has changed. I'd really like to think it was something else. Well again thank you so much for your time and wonderful replies. They have been very helpful.