Very Bad start to the new Year,...

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

Had a particularly rough night so far,...

I know no one here knows me except for a few Ppl,

either way I had to vent some where and here seems most appropriate,...

so naturally there's more than just me living here, and unfortunant;y I had an expierence tonight that hasn't happned in a while,...

The "Other" in my house hasn't picked on me in a while, and I thought that he wouldn't anymore,. but tonight he proved me wrong,.............It's been a long time, and from what I can tell, when he's focused on other Ppl as targets it doesn't affect me as bad, but this was one of "Those" times when he turned his attention back on me,.

It's really tough living with someone when they delight in tormenting you, and you can't even move out,.

That would atleast be a viable option if things were different,. I try not to play the self pity card to often,......but I do admit,...........Living with him, is a burden,.......

but on the other hand, he has helped us survive, and is a little stronger than I am in some arena's,.....but I cope and this is the balance,.....9 times out of 10 I'm in control and I know how things sit and "He" has no say,...

but those other times,.....It's just un-nerveing,......

So Anyways,.........................................................Other than that I look forward to getting to know everyone here, and the other's in their house's and I hope to gain some understanding and some support and some familiarity from this,....

Here's to a New Year with endless possibility's,.

~M~

Comments

[talawolf.livejournal.com]

Wow. Your situation sounds a lot like mine.

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

really,.?,......

I feel bad that you have to endure the same things that I do,....

~M~

coping

[effeteifrit.livejournal.com]

Do you know what it is that he wants?

I have a similar situation in my...(yeah, maybe I'll just use the word) house where there's one person who used to be less-controlled than the others. It was terrifying sometimes when he'd be at the forefront and he'd want to hurt people. It was like this until I did some searching and realized what he wanted. Or more accurately, Thorne (not me) knew what Blaze wanted, and gave it to him.

At the beginning of my awareness Blaze was the keeper of painful memories...meaning that he was focused on these and he developed in outlook and attitude accordingly. After Blaze got a source of love from Thorne (sounds cheesy or X-rated) and we shared some memories (i.e. so the past was not *all* pain for him anymore) he settled down. To a certain extent.

This is not to say that Blaze accepted this openly. Thorne forced it on him. And there was a lot of catharsis in Blaze...he isn't the violent person so much now that he once was...towards other people. At least this is what I gather. Toward myself he's appeared in one rape dream that I can recall, and one dream where he was an angel with a flaming sword and mind-control abilities who went on a destructive rampage. So I have reason not to like him. But what he governs (namely, destruction) is a necessary part of our system.

Recently I've been on an atypical antipsychotic, so I wasn't really thinking about the multiplicity or about my past and cast, so to speak...until I headed into finals, was really stressed out and realized that one of my survival skills is to become disattached and act as someone else. I call it "breaking", though I realize that it's likely other people don't like that term. I've had to do it a lot, though most of that has been sealed by now, and it's no longer about external identity but interior thought amalgams.

I still get cynical and sarcastic, and arrogant (and otherwise inappropriate) remarks coming from him in the back of my mind, but it's not too bad. I realize it's him and in context I can laugh it off. He has one of the highest senses of distinct self-ness in my system, and was one of the people to kick me towards saying that we're multiple.

I hope this has helped somewhat...I haven't been back watching this list for a while either, but hi. :)
Rose/Halon

Re: coping

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

There's nothing that I can Decern from my point of view that seems to be the underlying motive for "his" behaviour,

I think that if I could find the root of his problem, it might help in the whole coping factor,.....................but as of late, nothing that I can think of has presented itself.

and well it's really just He and I so there's not anyone that I can turn to for an objective third opinion who would know all the intamate details of what and how he thinks,.

So that's where I stand as of now,.

and Thanx for the welcome I truely appreciate it,.

~M~

Here's What Works For Us

[voyager-system.livejournal.com]

Fear feeds the situation. Let go of the fear and replace it with compassion.
Shine your light onto what you most fear. In otherwords bring what you most fear into awareness, both in life and within the psyche. Approach with awareness rather than judgment. Know that no matter what anyone says or does, it’s their stuff and don’t take it on board, no matter how personal it appears to be. Trust that you are all doing the best that you can. Go easy on yourself and others in the psyche. Perception is everything. When we are feeling small and vulnerable, others will seem a lot bigger and more threatening than they really are. So the stronger you become, the better.



(I've pasted this solution from Dr. Ralph Allison (below) in for a laugh. I would suggest not to try this at home or even with a therapist!)



start transcript....But how do you get rid of a Persecutor? For the majority of patients who do not know what to do, I ask them to do what I call "The Bottle Routine." The essential steps in this ritual, which is done with the patient in a light trance, are as follows:

a) Have an object, such as a bottle. ready but placed out of the patient's view.

b) Tell the patient to go inside her head but still maintain control over her body.

c) Instruct her to go to the high level where her ISH is and combine with the ISH, thus being able to utilize its power to get rid of the Persecutor.

d) Have the patient envision a beam of pure healing energy coming in through the top of her head, energy which can help push out the Persecutor.

e) Ask her to completely enclose the Persecutor in this energy and start shoving her down out of her head.

f)The therapist stands at the side of the patient and tells the patient to shove the Persecutor out her shoulder and arm.

g) While giving this instruction, the therapist cups his/her hand on the side of the patient's head, as if shoving something down, and tells the patient that he/she will help her push out the Persecutor.

h) While moving the hand down the patient's side, the therapist intones that the Persecutor is being pushed out of the head, brain. eyes. ears, mouth, neck, shoulder, arm, elbow, wrist and hand. Before getting to the hand, place the bottle or other object in the patient's hand.

i)When the therapist's hand touches the patient's hand, the therapist firmly tells the patient to push into the bottle all of the negativity which has been called by the name of the Persecutor and to keep pushing until it is all gone. When the patient has gone through what appear to be appropriate
contortions, possibly with yelling between the Persecutor and the primary personality, she will give one last squeeze of the hand on the bottle before giving it up to the therapist.....end transcript.



I would be considered one of the inner protectors/persecutors in the psyche I belong to, by mental health industry definitions. I keep looking at my arm and shoulder wondering if I am about to pop out. I avoid bottleshops or at least suspicious looking wild-eyed men on a mission, coming my way with bottle (or crucifix) in hand. :) Bonnie^Voyager

Re: Here's What Works For Us

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the advice and the compassion,

I will try to sit and reflect on what you said,

I think it might help in the long run,.

~M~

Re: Here's What Works For Us

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing at the Allison stuff*

Man, that guy is whacked.

*gets serious and points to what duathir said* I couldn't agree more with this.

We have a Guardian Council and some other things in place so that a person like that would be kept from harming others in or out of House. Time enough then to find out what he wants, etc. But it's more difficult with just two people, I know.

Re: Here's What Works For Us

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the compassion and understanding,.

I think above all else, that' what I need, and,......well I do have duathir to help me in these endevours,.....

and to help after the fact,.

I think this above all else, is going to be the greatest advantage, that

and well,...............................just being able to talk about it is a great bonus,.

Hug's,......................................~M~

[duathir.livejournal.com]

I am sorry he hurt you, but proud of you for the strength you showed in dealing with him. You are the stronger, and I think it likely he torments you because it is all he can do; because he cannot rule you.

I am wary of this notion of giving him what he wants, unless it be in exchange for what you want from him, and I also wonder how far you can trust him to keep any contract he makes with you. Compassion is good, but so is caution, and it seems he is a strategist to be reckoned with: please be careful.

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

you know I thought of something slong those lines, and I do agree,

There really is nothing that he does that involves this body that is done without benefit to "Him"

I have to think about it some more,.

I just thought that if I gave him something to do that might help stem the tide of the "Outburts" and maybe help mellow them out a little,.

that's the only reason I thought of it in the first place,.

I dunno,..........................*sigh*,.

I wish you were here,.

Luv's and hug's,..........................~M~

[duathir.livejournal.com]

If having a Livejournal of his own would further his goals, he would probably agree to what terms you offered, then keep them only as much and as long as he saw it to his advantage to do so. But to what extent is it to your advantage to allow him to further his goals? And I think it likely that he would see the offer as a sign of weakness rather than of compassion - an indication that his campaign was succeeding.

Therefore I would suggest that your response to his outbursts be harsher, so that they gain him less of what he wants rather than more, and that you grant privileges to him as reward for cooperation rather than as attempt to placate him. Pay him no Danegeld (http://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/dane_geld.html) - if he wants anything from you, require that he earn it by giving you what you want first.

I wish I were there too, or better, that you were here, where it is warmer. I hope it will not be long until you are. Be you ever well,

With love,

~Kír

[voyager-system.livejournal.com]

Yes. Good points above. We understand the serious side to this. We have a problem entity in the psyche, who has taken control 4 times in 39 years for around 5-20 minutes until the angels stepped in and the system was restored.

We are approaching this on two levels. One is the psychological level where we find out how this self developed from infancy in order to understand 'its' motivations - empower the psyche with knowledge and awareness.

The second is a spiritual level. The angels, otherkin flood the entire psyche with light (and their wisdom), which is our way of saying awareness without fear and with compassion.

The entity, as we sometimes refer to it, cannot exist in that environment. So the nightmares stopped. There's no healing this one. Fear feeds it. So for us no fear (but with wisdom and awareness of the situation) works best.

-Bonnie,Raven&Witt^Voyager

[jhonathand.livejournal.com]

It's a little more often, when "He" comes up for me, but I deal with it and move on,....

I just make sure that I'm not around People when he dose appear so that Physical, and Psychonlogical damage is lessened to myself and other's,.

I will consider the spirituale antidote the next time "He" comes around because that makes the most sense to me,..

I do have reservation, because the same energy that powers all of my spirituale endevours would power his,.?.

I think,.?

I'll give it more thought, Thank you for the options in dealing with him,.

~M~