Newbie intro

[khlara.livejournal.com]

I feel dorky/shy posting an intro about myself. Basically I have seen 3 doctors within the past 7 years. The first one said I was extremely creative, a good actress and imaginative, until he found out I omitted information during our sessions. The second one actually diagnosed me with MPD/DID, said she didn't deal with it, hoped I got closer to Christ and sent me to another woman who said, "I don't diagnose people, I deal with the individual." We should have known better. She "fixed/integrated" me and I ended up leaving because there was nothing more to talk about. However, we believe that due to this "fixing" this is why I cannot react properly to my new environment. We're actively trying to seek for a new "break" this time so I can better feel my other personalities. There's about 9 of us, although 2 of them haven't actually shown themselves yet, so to speak. I also believe that some of the others hrabour other psychiatric problems.
I probably won't be posting much, maybe just responses back as the gang is pretty silent, but I'm glad I've found a place where we can possibly be recognized and...well, have a community. Thanks.

Comments

[perse.livejournal.com]

hi & welcome.

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Not to draw you out, but...'actively trying to seek for a new "break"'? Can you explain just a little?

Oh, and welcome. From the fracturing singlet. :)

[khlara.livejournal.com]

Before I was about 13, I was always a singlet who heard two voices in my heard during stressful situations and about 3 others at various other times. But I ignored them. I remember at about 11 the exact moment (the break) which caused the gang to sort of introduce who was a frontrunner, and the people who worked behind. Not all of them showed, about two of them did. Recently, my last therapy session inegrated most of me, so there's frontrunners, I just never know who they are at times. Basically a scene from a tv show made me break last time and I'm wondering if the same scene will do it again. It's not usually dangerous, it's what I think other people would call a trigger.
I hope that explains it

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Sounds less like breaking (in the usual, or MPD/DID, sense of a single personality fracturing into many), than changes in communication. They may be there whether you hear/feel them or not (like you said, you still know that there are frontrunners, you just can't identify them). So it's likely that at least in your case as in some others we have heard about, so-called "integration" just walls you off from the others in the system, from communication, and from the operating system in general. In other words, they may all still be there, you just can't hear'em.

We have had several people write to us saying they were integrated by a doctor or whatever, but now don't feel comfortable as a singlet and want the others back. We believe they can come back even if they were really integrated or sent away; or if they were simply walled off, that you can re-establish communication with them. How to do it is different for each person. Have you tried just focusing your thoughts on one of them and thinking about that person in great detail and kind of calling to them?

[khlara.livejournal.com]

I've not actually tried that, no, focusing on one person. Although last night I felt this tingly/flood kind of feeling as if for a moment I could access all the fronts and see they were all there.
Thank you for the idea. I'll try the focusing soon. Do you know where I could possibly get other ideas of how to re-establish communication if the focusing doesn't work?

[hairymonster.livejournal.com]

Wave hi

[saturniakitty.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the community ^_^

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

Hi and welcome :)

~Ash