(no subject)

[shadowsage05.livejournal.com]

I posted a bit ago, introducing myself and metioning her...the one I call the Dark Twin or Dark One now. Dark One usually. Anyway, she's been here more and more often. I can't really communicate with her, not in words. I feel her emotions though, sort of, like a telepathy or empathy or something like that.

She's been wanting to front. Like, I can feel her wanting it, and sometimes parts of my body will move and I'm not the one doing it. She's not like Augustine though. I don't think she can front unless I let her...If I fif, I don't think I could do it again until she let me. She really wants to, I can feel it.

I'm afraid though. Augustine is never really here, just comes and starts fronting and leaves again. Short spurts. She doesn't bother or scare me. Ruby never wants to front. She'll be here, talk to me sometimes, but she doesn't like fronting. The Dark One does though...

Should I let her?

Comments

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

I think that maybe some group rules about what's acceptable when fronting might help. If you guys come up with some basic guidelines, and agree on them and on any discipline to take place if the rules are broken.

For example, you might come to a general agreement to drive safely and keep the road rules. The reasons you decide this is important is that if you get a fine, or the car or (heaven forbid) the body gets damaged in an accident, it affects everyone who fronts. Then one of the system winds up getting a speeding ticket. And you might have agreed that therefore that member isn't allowed to drive for an amount of time. Or that that member isn't allowed to front to do a particular hobby they enjoy. Or they have to earn the money in their own fronting time to pay the fine.

All systems come up with their own set of codes regarding what is 'acceptable' when it comes to fronting and using the body (either formally, with votes and in writing, or or informally, by common concensis and unspoken moral code). This is important for a number of reasons, but the most important one tends to be because what one member does can affect all, be it directly or indirectly.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

I agree with this, and you may want to let her try it for the first time in a safe space, with either no other people around, or with people who know and accept.

My own 'brother' is mostly non-verbal; was entirely non-verbal till a few years ago, and he, too, communicates through emotions. We were apparently born together into this body, and he's the strongest - he can "front" whenever he wants, for as long as he wants; neither duathir nor I can force him to do or not-do anything. He's very sweet and loving, though, so a lot of times we can persuade him to do things.

I think it is crucial for members of a multiple system to support one another and work out a cooperative arrangement so everybody gets as much freedom and autonomy as possible... contingent, of course, on the good of the House as a whole. Holding people prisoner, not letting them 'front' if they want to, sounds both cruel, and extremely likely to lead to resentment and rebellion.

Which is not to say you should just blithely hand over the body and the car keys and the responsibility for dealing with work/school, relationships, etcetera, to someone who may not be able to handle all that right off the bat. A little preparation and preliminary agreement first would be useful.

Can members of your House "ride together", so that whoever's fronting isn't doing it all alone, but has someone else sort of co-piloting? We do this a lot in my House; actually far more than any of us go by ourselves, and it's very companionable and reassuring. Might be nice for your twin to have you along for the ride, not interfering, but just there to help out if she needs it, and keep her company if she doesn't.

[thousandyeartea.livejournal.com]

If she really wants to, you really ought to let her. After all, if your roles were reversed, wouldn't you want it that way?

It might not be the best of ideas to call her the 'Dark One' either, since people, especially at first, tend to take a lot of their self-identity from how others view them...

I guess I'm trying to say not to be afraid. Good luck with getting to know each other... ^.^

[whispersong.livejournal.com]

depends on you & your system.

shrugs I'm a Dark of this system. It doesn't matter why but i had to prove i could be trusted enough to be allowed to have time outside w/this systems body and show i wasn't going to be like others of my kind that would have tried to take it over.

i don't know how else to advice you. if you cannot figure out whether its ok to let her out or not, i suggest trying to let her out anyway & see what she does. that is just my own pov though.

tatiana