not made of stone but moving as slow

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Hey.

For these past several months I haven't been checking in to a lot of my communities, because I've been without steady computer access. So here, among many others, I just haven't been reading the daily entries, and I'm sorry about that.

Because...something's come up. Maybe.

We're not sure yet, but we think someone's awake. My partner Cat pointed the possibility out to me this morning, and I broke down and told her that for the past week or so, I've been having episodes of missing time, blackouts, an increase in insomnia, an excess in sleeping...things that aren't necessarily out of my pattern, but things that haven't been a steady part of the pattern for a few years or more. And this time I'm mostly aware of all of it.

I hadn't told her yet, because I was trying to figure out if it really was someone else awake, and if so, who; also, I was trying to figure out if it was someone else awake, or some other medical problem mimicking the signs.

Jury's still out. This is what we have:

-Got woken up out of a sound sleep by a small voice saying "Hello". Couldn't hear anything outside, it didn't repeat, but I had the definite feeling it hadn't been an external call but an internal one.

-Roommate took the top of my head off for coming upstairs and walking over a bowl and a spoon in the middle of the kitchen floor without picking them up. My memory of the event is me thinking, hmm, I could eat something, and then there's a patch of nothingness, no memory, and then I'm sitting downstairs in the big chair with some chicken and iced tea. Whereupon I ate. Because I'm not sure if my roommate remembers I'm a multiple, or at least used to be, I didn't want to hash out the possibility with her. Which left me basically shrugging like an idiot saying, 'Gee, don't know how I could have missed it, sorry.'

-Apparently 'I' woke up my partner couple days back, speaking in a very small, very childish voice, about losing something in the blankets. When she surfaced enough from sleep to interact and spoke to me, I spoke to her blearily in my 'normal' voice, telling her to go back to sleep. I don't remember either communication. (This in itself is not unusual; I frequently dream vocally.)

-More than once over the past few weeks I've felt this weird sort of 'doubling' effect--as if I'm not the only one looking out of my eyes. Since this is the first time I'm consciously aware of the effect, it's kind of unnerving, and doesn't give me any information about who else is back there.

Individually, it could just be further evidence of some other problem. Taken together...I'm pretty sure someone else is awake, but I don't know where to go from here.

Anyone wanting to chime in is more than welcome to, but I'm not so much looking for a solution as I am looking for validation.

Comments

Well, at least that's not going to be a problem...

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

...because a), I don't work, and b), in addition to the 'bodymates' inside, I have roommates on the outside. And they divide the bills between them. I help out when I can, but I'm dealing with a ton of medical issues that are keeping me less mobile than I'd like.

I like the 'journal' idea, though. Clean off my bedside table, leave it there...of course, then the paranoia sets in--what happens if I'm the only one writing in it? Argh. :)