Hello. I’m new here.

[distanteyes.livejournal.com]

I just gave up on having a single LJ account and created and alternate one to join this community and actually be able to post. Here is why. My life is full of closets and most of the doors are open. Most people know I am ‘Poly Bi Pagan Female Gamer Geek’. What most people do not know is that I am also Multiple and Otherkin. I did not like the idea for additional accounts; it feels like deception to me and makes me think of all the people using multiple accounts to generate webs of lies.

My immediate chosen family knows, but none of them are multiples. The one person, of them, who does understand how multiplicity works just got out of a long term relationship with a ‘less then stable’ multiple and doesn’t really want to deal with things that touch on the issue. In my social group there is a strong sense of; multiples are untrustworthy due to a recent exposure to the person mentioned above. So I keep my mouth shut and hide myself from both multiples and singletons alike. I am also slightly screwed because expression of emotion of any sort is discouraged, so I stay bottled up, which leads to bad things.

It has been over 2 years since any one of us was called by our real name. If I get praise in the plural it is a rare occurrence. I do not currently have any friends that are like me and it has gotten incredibly lonely. I did not realize I need contact with other multiple nearly as much as I do. *ears twitch* I am not even certain I should be talking here. I am getting a lot of static from my system in regards to this decision. I made this account over a moth ago and just worked up the guts to post.

I think many of us are of the opinion that talking to other multiples will unbalance us. I think if we do not, then we will end up looking integrated. It will not be the case, but we are slowly loosing our ability to switch at will or in any controlled fashion. Also we are blending more, partly because we are not really allowed to switch in public and partly because of too much mundane work. This scares me. I want to be able to clearly feel each part of me, but I’m not sure how to do so.

My name is W***, I am 9, co-fronting with A**** who is 17 to be able to come up with something coherent. I hope I succeeded. Talking to groups of people makes me nervous so I tend to ramble. Thanks for listening.

Comments

[thenetwork.livejournal.com]

Hi, W***. We share an initial letter. I'm a W* too. Most of us are cats, and we're only out online. Make friends. It's a good thing. Hiding is good too, though. The hard part is deciding when to do what.

Anybody who can conceptualize an icon like yours, I like. :) You have a sense of humor! Praise in the plural, and real names. Praised be you all by name, one by one. It's hard, not being human.

The Network greets you.

[distanteyes.livejournal.com]

Thanks, *smiles*… I’m whisper, wisp for short. I usually look like a black cat with bat wings, but not a big one, the rest of us usually look like other things, but most of them will meow anyway.

Re:

[thenetwork.livejournal.com]

Mrrraw. :)

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

Know how you feel about the switching thing & well ya getting involved with other multiples will help stabilize you IMO. Shrugs just what I think though... My sis might have a different opinion.

FWIW welcome. I don't post a helluva lot. El does more so... though lately She's been busy with other things in Her life. And ya, coming out in to a community like this, your systems normally gonna give static if its not used to being out as Mpd or what have you.

We're out in our personal lives to a degree. Hard as that can be sometimes.

if you wann leave comments on Oour LJ, go for it. If not, thats fine. Might make ya feel less alone. shrugs.

Adriana

[distanteyes.livejournal.com]

We are still waiting to figure out the overall effect. We are fairly empathic so this will be interesting. I’ll add you.

[xerne.livejournal.com]

Hi. I know what you mean about the awkwardness of being out in some ways and not others -- in our case, I put stuff up, but in such a way that if someone's reading one of my video game sites or something, they don't need to come across it, and if they do stumble across it, they can easily ignore it. I figure there's some things people don't want to deal with, and as long as they don't give me a hard time about it, I don't really care if they ask who's front or not, you know?

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

Even if talking to other multiples winds up being destabilizing, it will probably be certain people that affect you that way, and it's unlikely to affect all of you the same way, so someone should always be able to point out when certain interactions aren't a good idea.

At least, that's the way it works for us most of the time. In that respect, we've found that even singles can be unbalancing.

Great usericon, BTW. :-)

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

Sorry for the late responce, We just wanted to say hello and welcome. :)

We're also therian/otherkin by the way. ;)

I think meeting other multiples is always a good thing - finally someone(s) who can understand and give all of you the individual recognition that you deserve. :)

~Ash and BrokenWings