(no subject)

[walkerinthegrey.livejournal.com]

How do the rest of you deal with issues of free will that could potentially affect the entire system via the body? Smoking, in specific. Should people be allowed to smoke if they choose, even if they share the body with non-smokers?

Comments

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

The majority of Us smoke, but not all of Us do. So We smoke. But when someone is out who doesn't smoke, they don't. It works for Us. Feral (one of the non-smokers) always jokes that she has a bad case of second-hand smoke. :P

Other things though, We don't allow. We don't allow any illegal drugs or anything else that would be really self-harming, like self-mutilation. Part of it also has to do with legal consequences.

~Bones

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

As an add on, other things get voted on, such as Our hair style. Some things though, like tattoos, have to be agreed on by everyone.

~Bones

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Of the three of us, I'm the only one who smokes. My 'brothers' don't like it, but they tolerate it, within limits - morning is usually Crist-Erui's time to take the helm, and he hates the taste, so I refrain from smoking until after he's had his time. When he and his twin are up a lot, sometimes cigarettes get forgotten completely for a couple of days, because even when it's my turn, the 'echo' of Crist-Erui's mode of corporeality lingers, and smoking just doesn't seem like a priority.

*wry grin* He's somewhat better about making healthy food choices too, just because he doesn't really like most prepared food - he has no interest in milk, cheese, bread, pasta, or any sort of sauces or condiments. He'll eat rice or oatmeal on occasion, but mostly he likes fruit, raw or lightly-steamed veggies, and very rare meat. He'd eat it raw if we let him, but we don't, because of the health hazard, so except for sushi and the occasional steak, he's mostly vegetarian.

Food is one of Duathir's "corporeality issues", and on the rare occasions he takes the helm, he prefers not to deal with eating at all. He says he doesn't mind smoke, though he has no desire to do it himself, but Crist-Erui shouldn't have to put up with it. He's right, of course, so I try to be considerate about it.

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

It works very much the same for us too. Most of those who front regularly are smokers. Those who aren't can choose not to while they're fronting. We have house-rules about other things that have potentially greater consequences (like ending up in jail). We vote, and the weight of our votes is dependent on how much we interact with the outside. Those who front only rarely have less weight when it comes to decisions affecting external life. However on internal matters they get greater weight.

[kiya]

I'd say it really depends on what rules you want to set up for your system.

I can't use smoking as a good example; even second-hand smoke does unpleasant things to the body no matter who's driving for us. (Asthma attack, as far as we can tell.) But I can probably come up with a couple of other things that might work.

I haven't personally had any disputes of type "I want to do X" vs. "I don't want to be in a body that does X". Mostly what I have are things some folks find questionable (recreational chemistry of various forms, tattooing, and so on) that some in the system are interested in and everyone else is more or less neutral on. Since there aren't any actual objections being raised, those are things that I feel fine pursuing.

I can imagine dealing with the some-for and some-against thing. I imagine what I'd do now that I'm selves-aware would be to sort out what the arguments for and against that particular thing are, and either talk out my conflicts with someone I trust outside the system or find someone within the system who can be trusted to judge the matter from a rationalist standpoint rather than an emotional one.

I can also see the possibility of giving people veto powers, or negotiating limits on behaviours ("Okay, you can each smoke, but not more than N cigs a day" or "no cigs, but you can smoke herbal/cloves" or "pipes only" or what have you), or any of a number of other compromise situations.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

I think it all comes down to negotiation and compromise. Setting a guideline that takes everybody's needs/wants into consideration. And what's best for the body's health is a big factor.

Things like smoking really have to be negotiated about, because there are health factors, and it's something that not just going to affect the person who does it. Maybe only smoking lower mg cigs, rationing cigs per day, or negotiating times when the smokers can smoke that isn't going to piss off the non-smokers are options you could look at as a group.

Glad we didn't have to go through that though. The only member we've ever had who smoked was only around for about six months when we were in our late teens bodywise, and she had her smokes in the headspace, not using the body.

Not that we would have had the guts to go buy real ones - at that time we were still living at home *coughprisoncough* and were forced into attending church *coughbrainwashingcough* and were so shit-scared of the world outside that talking to strangers was a bit of a hike. Buying cigerettes underage was *way* out of our league.

Ruth & co.

[ques-nova.livejournal.com]

I know for Us, we often take a vote, but the cores can over rule their vote and I can over rule that. I take their advise but sometimes it's necessary for me to make a contradictory decision. For instance, there are those in this body who would glady smoke a pack of cloves a day. As I am a few steps away from asthma and alergic to smoke, this would obviously be a serious threat to my health, so I over ruled that one.

[zaecus.livejournal.com]

The way we handle it is much closer to the way a real family would handle it, I think. Anytime one of us habitual smokers is out, we get bitched at by the two non-smokers, but only mildly.

In our case, only the two of us who are smokers actually identify the body as "mine". The others look nothing like the body, so they treat the issue much like second hand smoke, as someone mentioned above.

As a group, we worry a lot more about things that have a more dramatic effect on the mind than about the things that have effects on the body.

[xerne.livejournal.com]

In our case, the body is severely asthmatic, so smoking it up there with "stepping into traffic" and "shooting myself in the head", something that's far too detrimental to the body to be an option.

The closest thing for us would probably be food alergies. Among us, we have an impressive array of different allergies and sensitivities. A few (such as coconut) are so serious that no one's allowed to overrule, but for the most part, people are allowed to eat what they want as long as they stick around long enough afterward to make sure it gets digested. That means Brigid has to make sure her jalopenos don't give us heartburn, Enrico waits so his mushrooms don't make us nauseous, etc.

Does that help?

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

What we do and our experiences are closest to what iamshadow says above. Imoreh is the only smoker who fronts; he goes outdoors and smokes cloves. But he's perfectly capable and willing to smoke in the studio while fronting, and not use the body for that; did it the other day when we were in a public place.

[symbola.livejournal.com]

Only one of us smokes..and she generally kills her craving by finding a group of smokers and inhaling deeply while chewing a pen...not as damagaing to teh lungs. as far as other things go..so long as they are not too drastic...and they are reversable..people can do a they wish while front


Daetrieas

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

Actually, studies have shown that inhaling second hand smoke regularly is worse, because you don't have the 'protection' of a filter - you're getting the pure tobacco smoke. That's why they say don't smoke near your kids.

It's not just hearsay either. A friend of my mothers was diagnosed with emphysema. Her doctor told her she had to quit smoking. She'd never smoked. Turns out the damage had been done by her husband's secondary smoke - and he'd been dead for twenty years.

[weare.livejournal.com]

That's one thing I don't get. You would think that it would be worse for the smoker. Because, they're not only inhaling the smoke from the cigarette but the second hand smoke as well. Granted, either way it's not healthy.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

In a general sense we negotiate and compromise, and also sort of monitor each other - 'okay, you ate crap two days in a row, can we ease up on that?' sort of thing.

With smoking in particular or anything physically addictive, I think it is hard - because it not only impacts on your body health-wise (smell-wise, taste-wise, lung capacity-wise, all of which will affect other people's enjoyment of their lives) but it forms a *body* habit that may be hard on others. Also it can be expensive and that requires negotiation on the economic front.

None of us actually smokes but I think if someone wanted to, we would settle on a very very low number of cigarettes per month, like one. Enough to respect their desire without triggering a life dependency.

[weare.livejournal.com]

I smoke and some of my alters do to I think. But, one of them (Yaro) is a real health nut. She HATES it and everytime I light up she makes snide comments. She also complains that it affects her working out and that because the body's addicted to it she wants to smoke too. But, she doesn't. We've sort of come to the compromise that those who smoke won't do it excessively so it's not so hard on everyone else.

I personally think that anything that affects everyone should be carefully decided upon. Especially something permanent. All of my tattoos I got before I knew I was multiple and the same with being married and having a child. Some of my alters don't like that but they "deal" with it. We're trying to decide what we're going to do about it though since some of them would like to have a lover of their own. Something I'm not entirely comfortable with and neither is my husband. But, we're trying to find a compromise.

Anything illegal isn't allowed for obvious reasons. I don't want to wind up in jail or something. Something like shopping is difficult because we all have different tastes (something I figured out yesterday while shopping). We don't have a lot of money so We can't just spend.

It's one of those things, I think, that really depends on the individual system.